


The Accountant in the Blue Suit

by TheaterTherapy



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Hookups, Businessman AU, CEO!Jared, CoWorkers to Friends to Lovers, Con's a graphic designer and damn good at his job, Dubious Consent, Evan is an accountant, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Galaxy Gals, I just want them to be happy, M/M, One Night Stands, Smut, Tree Bros, Zoe and Evan are BFFs, Zoe's an awesome sister
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2018-12-07 18:34:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 79,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11629449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheaterTherapy/pseuds/TheaterTherapy
Summary: Being the Head Accountant for one of the leading technology companies in the country isn't all it's cracked up to be. Sometimes, the snack machine jams. Other times, Jared forgets that Evan isn't his intern, no, he won't go get him his complicated coffee order with a blueberry scone.What starts off as a harmless business party turns into so much more when Evan finds himself in the bed of the best graphic designer in New York, Connor Murphy. Will the two be able to keep up the ruse of a functioning work relationship, or will Evan have to hide in his office until the project is completed?On the bright side, maybe Jared will finally stop giving him crap about not getting laid.





	1. The Release Party

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my second work for the DEH fandom. I enjoyed writing the first story so much, I had to start another one. Here's a couple of notes so everything makes sense. :)
> 
> -Jared started Kleinman Corporations in his basement and grew it into one of the country's leading tech companies. Think of it as similar to Apple or PC.  
> -Evan is the Head Accountant for the company and is awesome at his job because he's bomb at crunching numbers and giving accurate predictions for the company. Sure, Jared and he are friends, but he didn't just give Evan the job because of that, no matter how much he likes to joke about it.  
> -Evan has gotten better with his anxiety, but he still stutters/has his ticks when he gets stressed or nervous.  
> -Connor got help for his depression in his younger years and was able to rebuild himself. He is the best graphic designer in NY, but still enjoys getting high from time to time.  
> -Zoe is a queen, Alana's a queen, I love them. Also Alana is a badass who basically runs the company for Jared as his V.P. 
> 
> WARNING: Mild sexual harassment (from an OC but he's gone really fast) and consenting while intoxicated. If this is a trigger, please don't read.

“I’m calling it, now. He’s going to walk out to the current chart topper, wink, and turn around as the lights black out and reveal his logo. Because who needs subtlety?”

 

“I-I don’t think so. Jared promised he would keep this release party more low-key than the last one.” 

 

“And miss out on prime opportunity to stroke his ego? Sorry, Ev. I haven’t known Jared for as long as you have, but I know him well enough to know it’s go big or go home with him.” 

 

“Sure, Jared can be a little over the top at times, but-” 

 

_“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Kleinman Corporations is honored to cater to your presence on this momentous night, as we reveal the most state-of-the-art line of technology to date. Please give a round of applause to the owner and CEO of Kleinman Corporations, Jared Kleinman!”_

 

“…damn it, Jared.”

 

The grand hall’s lights dimmed until only a the raised platform in the center of the room was illuminated. Effect smoke rose in lazy spirals until it was hard to differentiate between the stage and the floor beneath it. Just as Zoe had predicted, _‘My House’_ blared over the speakers as Jared’s silhouette appeared on the stage. The brunet confidently strode up to the lip of the stage and winked at the slightly swooning women. He turned as the stage went dark and the sharp ‘ _Kleinman Corporations’_ logo projected against a white backdrop. 

 

Evan heard Zoe release a low whistle beside him. He turned as the blonde raised an impressed eyebrow. 

 

“I think the smoke was a really nice touch. Really adds something to the presentation, don’t you think?” She whispered to the blue eyed man, trying to hide her amused smile. Evan bit his lip to keep his chuckles from escaping. 

 

“I talked him out of using pyrotechnics, but of course he’d find a way around it.” He whispered back, training his eyes on his friend as he commanded the stage with unshakable showmanship. Zoe quickly put a hand to her mouth as her bright laughter escaped. 

 

“Is that rule in place because of the presentation in Vegas?” She asked lightly as her azure eyes sparkled with mischief. 

 

“W-We don’t talk about Vegas anymore. That was a nightmare.” The blond rubbed his temples, as if trying to expel the memory of what had been a truly spectacular mess of a night. They still weren’t allowed back at The Palazzo. Zoe laughed and bumped Evan’s shoulders playfully. 

 

“Oh, common. You don’t find it even a little bit funny that Jared lit his newest laptop on fire-”

 

“Do you know how much paperwork I had to do after that? That’s not even my job and- you know, Jared’s talking right now and we should really be focused on this presentation and how well it’s going instead of-” 

 

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to stress you out. The presentation is lovely, but I’m sure that’s all Alana’s doing.” Zoe murmured softly, a small smile playing across her pink lips. Evan raised an eyebrow in a silent question of, _“You obviously have the hots for the Vice President, can you stop acting like a besotted middle schooler and ask her out, already?”_ Of course, he would never say that to her. He of all people knew how hard it was to work up the courage to ask someone out. Not that he thought anyone could ever possible turn down Zoe Murphy. 

 

Zoe had started working at _Kleinman Corporations_ about a year ago as Alana Beck’s personal assistant. Evan, as the head accountant for the company, had one of the prime offices in the building. This meant his office was seated next to the best snack machine and coffee bar the company had to offer. At around nine every morning, Zoe would pour herself and Alana something from the Keurig, grab a snack from the machine, and be on her way. 

 

Evan had only seen the woman in passing and had found her laid back personality endearing. She also looked really pretty with indigo streaks in her hair. Not that he’d ever admit it, of course. When he had heard the frustrated growl and reverberating bang on the snack machine glass, the man had seen it as his opportunity to rescue her snack and maybe introduce himself. 

 

The scenario went so much better in his head. What actually ended up happening was the machine slat snapping down on Evan’s bicep and refusing to let go. It took Zoe and three other concerned coworkers to release the demon machine’s hold on him. As mortifying as that experience had been, the blond couldn’t really complain. Being trapped in a snack machine gave him ample time to talk to the personal assistant, and they became fast friends. The two would hang out after work and on the weekends, Zoe lamenting on how cute Alana looked that day and Evan on the shenanigans Jared pulled around the office.

 

“Thank God, Jared’s almost done with the ego fest.” Zoe whispered as Jared blew a few more kisses to the cheering audience before exiting the stage. Evan rolled his eyes at his friend’s antics and turned back to the blonde. 

 

“That wasn’t nearly as long as the last one, and the crowd seemed fairly receptive to the new merchandise. Alana’s going to have her hands full with the business partners, tonight.” He replied. 

 

“Alana can handle it.” Zoe responded affectionately. The blond bit his lip and nodded. He wished he had the ability to coerce and lead the way the V.P. could. The dark skinned woman had this way about her. She was always two steps ahead, ready to direct and achieve in any way she saw fit, but always with a smile that convinced the most skeptical. Evan didn’t know when she found the time to sleep, but he figured that was the enigma that was Alana Beck. 

 

“If she has free time, y-you should offer to dance with her.” Evan said, cheeks coloring slightly. Zoe bit her lip and averted her eyes. 

 

“That’d be inappropriate for a work function, and you know it.” She mumbled as she tucked a golden strand behind her ear.

 

“Or, you can wait till this party is in full swing and everyone is spectacularly drunk, and I’ll look the other way.” Jared suddenly appeared from behind the pair, slinging his arms around their shoulders. Zoe rolled her eyes and shrugged off the invasive hand. 

 

“I feel like you’re trying to butter me up so I’ll buy you that _‘Best Boss’_ mug you email me about every other day.” The blonde said with a knowing smile.  

 

“You would not be wrong.” Jared gave Evan’s arm a parting squeeze and turned his attention on the blond man. 

 

“You enjoying the party, Ev?” The blue eyed man stuttered out a couple of syllables before Jared jumped back in. “I think you’d enjoy it even more if you took advantage of the open bar.” 

 

“You know I don’t drink, it doesn’t go well with the medication-” 

 

“You’re twenty-eight and have never had a one night stand, live a little!” 

 

“Jared! I told you that in confidence!” 

 

“Mr. Kleinman, we have some very interested investors looking to discuss the possibility of growing their stock in the company.” Evan swore he saw the clouds part and the angels sing as Alana appeared to pull Jared away for business. She brushed off his excuses to harass Evan a little more and firmly grabbed him by the arm. The blond mouthed a thank you and Alana shot him a sympathetic wink over her shoulder. Evan turned back to Zoe with a sigh.

 

“P-Please tell me you didn’t hear that.” He stuttered and stared down at his shiny dress shoes. Zoe chuckled and placed a warm hand on his shoulder.

 

“Usually, I wouldn’t agree with Jared… but I think he has a point.”

 

“W-What?!” Evan shouted, earning him a few curious glances. He quickly averted his gaze and hunched in on himself. Zoe stepped in front of him to block the taller male from probing eyes. 

 

“You’ve been more high-strung than usual. Maybe a roll in the hay could do you some good.” Zoe said as she leaned in with a hushed voice.  Evan felt like his face was on fire. He wanted to grab the cool drink from a passing waiter and bring it to his face, but he felt like that would be taking things too far. Instead, he looked at the space above Zoe’s left shoulder.

 

“I-I can’t d-do that! I-I’m not going to sleep with some s-stranger who could be carrying God knows _what_ kind of diseases, and-and-and let’s say I do take someone home, you have to talk to them after, and-and wait for them to put their clothes on and leave. What if they decide to stay after the deed, do I have to cuddle with them? What if I don’t want to cuddle with them?-”

 

“Slam on the brakes, Ev! First of all, you called it the deed, that’s probably why you aren’t getting laid regularly in the first place. Secondly, use a condom, that prevents the spread of a lot those icky diseases you don’t want to wake up with. Lastly, just go to their house and leave whenever the hell you want.” Zoe said confidently, as if she had experience in this area. Evan took a deep breath and ran a hand through his lightly gelled hair. 

 

“You make it sound so easy, Zo.” Her lips quirked and she looked up at the older male.

 

“That’s because it is. You just need to put yourself out there. I’d even take some harmless flirting with a cute stranger. Can you do that for me? Can you flirt with a cute stranger, tonight?” Evan chuckled and wrapped the shorter woman in a hug. 

 

“I think I can do that, but only if you dance with Alana.” He bargained. The blonde let out a put upon groan and turned her eyes heavenward. 

 

“You drive a hard bargain, Evan Hansen, but I’m determined to get you laid. You’ve got yourself a deal.” Zoe held out a neatly manicured hand. Evan smiled and gave the woman’s hand a firm shake. 

 

“Deal.” 

 

“Now, off to the bar with you. Go buy some lucky girl a drink and lay on your awkward, adorable charm. Or better yet, let a cute boy buy _you_ a drink and lay on your awkward, adorable charm.” 

 

“I’m pretty sure Jared said it was an open bar-” Zoe turned the blond around and shoved him in the direction of the bar with a hoot of ‘ _go get ‘em, tiger!’_

 

Evan could feel his hands start to clam up slightly the closer he got to the bar. His anxiety had become more manageable over the years, but he still had his bad days. He couldn’t have imagined coming to a party like this as a high schooler, so he took his victories where he could get them. Taking his seat, he played with the edge of a napkin and looked down the row of chairs. An older couple was talking quietly to themselves, while a woman in a skimpy red dress shot him an appreciative look. The blond could admit, if just to himself, that he looked good tonight. He wore a fitted navy blue suit that hugged his lean waist and lightly muscled arms. Evan’s face colored at her attention and he turned back to the fraying napkin. The woman was beautiful, sure, but not his type. Maybe if he didn’t look at her, she’d turn her attentions elsewhere. 

 

The blond looked toward the dance floor, hoping to see Zoe and Alana spinning around carelessly and happily. He was disappointed to find Alana socializing with the several attending board members. He caught her eye and she gave him a knowing wink before turning back to her conversation. Sighing, he let his eyes lazily scan the room. Having gone over the business part of the release, couples were pairing up to dance and drink and actually enjoy the remainder of the evening. 

 

Evan rubbed his silk tie between his fingers. He could see the ends of Zoe’s burgundy dress as she was twirled around by an overly enthusiastic man. She caught his eyes and mouthed _‘help me!’_ before she was turned again. Evan chuckled and rose from his seat to get a better view of his best friend’s distress. The blond could just make out her blonde locks when he locked eyes with a tall stranger across the room. His shoulder length brown hair was pulled back in a bun, highlighting his high cheekbones and straight nose. Evan quickly turned away to hide his mounting blush. Figures, he would find someone who was just his type but definitely out of his league at a party like this. 

 

Zoe was lost to the crowd of dancers, so Evan turned back to the bar and ordered some retro drink Jared was always trying to shove his way. He winced as the alcohol burned its way down his throat and warmed in his belly. The blond managed to choke back a few more gulps when a heavy hand settled on his shoulder. The strong stench of alcohol met his nose before he even turned. Anxiety began to settle uncomfortably in his stomach, and he took a deep breath before turning to greet the unwelcome intrusion. 

 

Glassy, brown eyes stared down hungrily at the shorter man, and Evan couldn’t conceal the shiver that ran down his spine and made the hair on his arms stand on end. He leaned back in his chair to put some distance between himself and the newcomer.

 

“M-Mr. Alder! H-How are you doing t-this evening?” He stuttered more than usual. The handsome man didn’t seem to notice, only leaning in closer to get a better look at the blond. 

 

“Call me Roman, please. And I’m doing much better now that I’ve found some interesting company.” He answered, charming as ever. Roman Alder, one of the top software designers in the industry, was a notorious _love-‘em-and-leave-‘em_ player who frequented parties all around New York. Evan knew better than to fool around with the likes of this man, but shaking off his attention once he found new prey would be tricky. Maybe he could introduce Alder to the red dress just a few seats down? 

 

“Oh…great.” Evan mustered as much pseudo flattery as he could, but he was pretty sure he just barely grit his teeth together. He tried to hide the fact that he was nervously worrying the hem of his designer suit. 

 

“I’ve seen you around these Kleinman parties. Kevin, right?” He gave the blond a perfect, white smile. 

 

“E-Evan, actually. Hansen. Evan Hansen. I, uhh. I’m the Head Accountant for _Kleinman Corps._ ” The cerulean eyed man responded and quickly took a drink of whatever the bartender gave him. Roman shook his head and ran a hand through his neatly coiffed brown hair.

 

“Of course, my mistake.” Placing a daring hand on the blond’s thigh, he gave it a testing squeeze. Evan tensed and tried to subtly remove the probing appendage. “So, Evan…” He tried to ignore the lusty undertone Roman exuded.

 

“What do accountants do for fun when they aren’t crunching numbers?” Evan hunched his shoulders and ran a quick hand over his face before waving to try and illustrate a point. 

 

“W-Well, my friend, Zoe and I, we like to go to Broadway shows together, and I like visiting Central Park to look at the trees-”

 

“I was thinking more in terms of… _carnal_ pastimes.” Alder purred, hand growing more persistent. Evan was about to jump out of his seat and head to the nearest bathroom stall to hide when Roman was suddenly pulled back by a large hand. 

 

“Roman! The bartenders should really know when to cut you off at this point. Why don’t you lay your drunken charm on that beautiful woman at the end of the bar? Or better yet, why don’t you do everyone here a favor and _kindly fuck off_ , entirely?” The amiable voice said, his tone hardly disguising his revolution toward the man. Alder turned and gave the stranger a sneer. 

 

Evan blinked in surprise. Tall, dark, and out of his league was now playing the role of knight in shining designer clothing. Up close, he could see his piercing blue eyes, his left eye containing a small patch of brown. The blond swallowed, wanting in equal parts to thank the man and run as far away as he could before he made a fool of himself. 

 

“Connor, don’t you know it’s rude to interrupt? And I was having such a nice conversation with Evan, here.” Connor’s steely gaze snapped to Evan’s and softened. Evan could only sink lower in his seat, shocked to have the brunet’s full attention on him. He gave the blond a subtle wink before turning back to Evan’s inebriated tormentor. 

 

“Do all of your _nice_ conversations involve your partners looking abhorrently repulsed? That’s putting it mildly, too.” Connor answered quickly, shooting Evan a lopsided smile. The accountant couldn’t stop the airy giggle that escaped his mouth. “Or could I maybe interest Evan here in the story about what happened in L.A. a few months back? You know, the one where you ended up on the wrong side of the tracks with that stripper from Kentucky-”

 

“Keep your nose out of my business, asshole.” Roman looked between the two before muttering something unsavory about being cockblocked and went to find another unfortunate soul to prey on. Evan let out sigh he didn’t realize he was holding and couldn’t help but laugh. Connor gave him a bright smile and took the now vacated seat next to the blond.

 

“W-Wow, um. Thanks!” Evan mumbled and stared at his drink, running his fingers along a trail of condensation. Connor ordered a drink and took a small swig before answering.

 

“No problem, man. Nothing brightens my day more than ruining Alder’s. You alright, by the way? I saw him getting a little handsy.” He asked, eyebrows furrowing in concern. 

 

“Oh, I’m fine, really! If you wouldn’t have come, which don’t get me wrong, I’m _really_ glad you came! I would have probably hidden in the bathroom for the rest of the party.” Evan confessed, cheeks tinting. He turned to face the handsome man when he chuckled slightly and raised his glass to toast the accountant. 

 

“Solid plan. It’s 89.4% effective, in my experience.”

 

“I-I have a feeling that was sarcasm.” 

 

“You’d be right. Almost everything I say has a hint of sarcasm, but I like to think I filter it effectively enough for formal gatherings.” 

 

“How do you think you’re doing, tonight?”

 

“I give myself a solid five out of ten.” 

 

“Fifty percent. Are you holding back?”

 

“Only because you’re cute.” 

 

Why did Connor have to compliment him when he had just taken a sip of his drink. The alcohol burned as Evan sputtered and wiped his mouth on his frayed napkin. The brunet rubbed his back gently and removed Evan’s glass from his hand.

 

“Woah, sorry! That’s probably the last thing you want to hear after Roman.” Connor looked downtrodden as he removed his hand and stared angrily at his drink. Evan hated knowing he put that look in the man’s eye and quickly brought his hands up in a placating gesture. 

 

“N-No! Totally my fault! It just caught me off guard! I don’t drink that often becauseitmesseswithmymedication. Sorry!” The blond responded so quickly Connor had to lean in to try and pick apart the sentence. 

 

“I didn’t quite catch that.”

 

“Sorry.” The accountant replied bashfully. 

 

“You apologize a lot.” Evan bit his lip. “You want to say it again, don’t you?”

 

“Very much so, yes.”

 

“You’d be great in customer service.” Connor said with a chuckle. The blond rubbed the back of his neck and grinned up at the taller man.

 

“Looks like my skills are being wasted in accounting, then.” The brunet smiled and raised a brow, as if to say continue. “I-I’m the Head Accountant for _Kleinman Corp._ Jared and I have been family friends for years, I’m not surprised I ended up working for him. He used to make jokes when we were younger, about how I would end up washing his car, so…” Evan trailed off. 

 

“I could see you as more of Kleinman’s babysitter than car washer.”

 

“That’s Alana’s job, and I don’t envy her for it.” Connor chuckled, a rich, deep sound that made Evan’s face light up. The brunet ordered them another round of drinks, and Evan scrunched his nose at the thought of having to consume another alcoholic beverage. The drink was pushed gently into his hands.

 

“It’s an Amaretto Sour. It’s easier on the tastebuds than what you were drinking earlier.” Evan stared banefully at the brightly colored concoction. “Trust me.” He turned and found Connor’s eyes held nothing but sincerity. Sighing, Evan took a tentative sip from the glass. This time, the blond was able to swallow his drink much easier, the aftertaste of Amaretto gliding easily on his tongue. “What’d I tell you?” Connor said with a crooked smile. 

 

“So, in your free time, you recommend alcoholic drinks to inexperienced people like me?” Evan asked, feeling more confident than he had all night. This beautiful man was giving him the time of day and even recommending what drinks to try, he figured he better ride this high before his anxiety set back in and he remembered where he was and who he was talking to. 

 

“Was that sass? I didn’t think you had it in you.” The brunet laughed and slapped the blond on the back. “This might come as shocking, but I’m a graphic designer when I’m not recommending alcohol to virgin drinkers.” 

 

“Wait, don’t tell me you’re the person who designed the new _Kleinman Corp_. logo and did all the advertising designs?” Evan asked, turning to fully face the man.

 

“That’d be me.” He responded humbly. 

 

“I always told Jared his old logo looked like two dogs fighting each other, your new one looks so much better!” That caused Connor to throw his head back and laugh. 

 

“I thought I was the only one who saw it! My sister thought I was high when I told her the same thing!’ 

 

And just like that, the ice was broken. The two steadfastly sat at the bar and talked into the late hours of the night, as the dancers retired and the lights dimmed. Connor regaled Evan with stories of his college days and starting his business, while Evan enthusiastically shared stories of the mishaps of working with someone as eccentric as Jared. The brunet listened with rapt attention as Evan spoke fondly of his love for nature and trees, and of how he would someday like to pursue having his own backyard filled with greenery. After a few drinks, Connor confided in the blond that he got some of his best ideas when he was high. He almost fell out of his chair from laughter when Evan reprimanded him for _‘smoking drugs.’_ All in all, as much as Evan dreaded coming to these types of parties, he was glad Jared had insisted on him attending. 

 

The blond looked down at his watch and saw a bright _1:04am_ blinking back at him. Rubbing his eyes, he placed his mostly empty glass on the marble bar top and tried to stand. His vision swam and he had to clutch onto the nearest object to keep from falling on his face. Said object happened to be Connor’s muscled bicep. The brunet placed a warm hand over Evan’s and helped him keep his balance as his vision cleared. 

 

“I think you’re drunk….but I’m also very drunk, so who knows!” Connor said, standing as well. Evan giggled and wrapped his arms around the taller man. 

 

“I’m having _such_ a great time!” Evan slurred slightly and took the brunet by the hand. “You know what’d be really fun, Con? Yo-You know what’d be just, so fun? Climbing a tree! I haven’t done that since…high school.” Evan’s faced dropped and he looked down at his polished shoes. Despite being hammered, Connor noticed the other man’s change in attitude and hooked a finger under Evan’s chin.

 

“Let’s do something a little less dangerous. I have a fully stocked bar back at my place, common! The party doesn’t have to stop just because the bartenders are kicking us out.” At that, he shot a less than intimidating glare at the bored bartenders who were cleaning up the till. Evan felt his face heat up lightly. This greek sculpture of a man was asking to take him back to his place. 

 

“Zoe is going to be _soo_ proud of me.” He mumbled.

 

“What?” Connor asked, turning to face the smiling blond. 

 

“Let’s go back to your place.” Shrugging, Connor took the man by the hand and led him to the parking lot where a car was already waiting for them. The designer opened the door and climbed in after the blond. Evan watched as they pulled away from the curb and into the bustling night life of New York. Turning back, he saw the brunet staring at him with curiosity. Maybe it was the liquor coursing through his veins and clouding his head, or maybe it was the high of going home with the beautiful man in front of him, but Evan felt a burst of confidence he hadn’t felt in a long time. 

 

“Hey, Con?” He asked, leaning forward.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Did you mean it when you said I was cute?” Connor raised an eyebrow.

 

“I may be sarcastic, but I’m truthful. You were the cutest guy at the party, tonight.” 

 

Evan doesn’t remember much of the car ride after that. He remembers soft lips and warm hands roaming hungrily at his body. The feeling of expensive leather against his back as Connor pushed him down and left angry red marks down his neck. Connor pulling him from the car and practically carrying him to the elevator, where Evan’s hips meet the unforgiving metal bar as Connor brings his body closer to his. The blond somehow managed to yank Connor’s hair tie free, releasing his wild curls so that Evan could pull and tug as he pleased.  

 

The couple reached Connor’s floor at some point, the details are pretty hazy for Evan. The designer quickly unlocked his door and pulled Evan inside, leaving him reeling. He didn’t bother to turn on the lights as he pulled Evan toward his exquisitely furnished bedroom, complete with a kingsized bed. Evan had just shrugged off his suit jacket when Connor was on him again, pulling him flush against his hard chest. The blond could feel Connor’s heart beating wildly through his chest. The brunet’s hands were all over him, on his shoulder blades, his waist, his hips. Evan moaned and canted his hips forward, feeling the brunet’s hard length pressed against his thigh invitingly. Connor bit at his lip before moving his hands to grope at the globes of Evan’s ass. This only made him melt more into the taller man’s chest. 

 

“C-Connor.”

 

“For the love of God, get naked.” It’s practically growled into his ear, and his head is swimming and he feels hot. Evan’s pants are uncomfortably tight, and he brought his shaking hands to Connor's belt. Connor must have been impatient, because he swatted Evan’s hands away and removed it himself. He palmed at Evan’s cock, which was now straining against his pants. The blond bit his lip and moaned pitifully as Connor expertly rubbed a thumb over his leaking head. 

 

“I want to taste you.” He murmured against the shell of Evan’s ear. Evan was so distracted at that point, the words didn't register until Connor was dropping to his knees and undoing the button on his pants. He made quick work of the zipper and pulled down his slacks and underwear in one go, leaving Evan hard and exposed. Looking down into Connor’s blue eyes, ready and willing and _so_ hungry, Evan couldn't help but run a hand through his soft locks and grab the back of neck. The brunet moaned as his hair was pulled and roughly palmed himself through his pants. Evan filed that detail away for later. Right now he had a handsome man on his knees who looked at him like a three-course meal. 

 

Connor spat in his hand and started to lazily pump the blond’s shaft, licking teasingly at the head. Evan’s already leaking, the pearly white liquid leaving a trail on Connor’s red, swollen lips. He wanted to come from just the sight alone, but steeled himself to not let the moment end prematurely. Connor was working on swallowing him whole, the soft gagging sounds making Evan weak at the knees. He gently kneaded his balls and rubbed a curious finger along his ass, lightly circling the digit around Evan’s puckered hole. 

 

“C-Con, I’m g-gonna…” There’s suddenly a hand clamped tightly around the base of his straining cock, making Evan gasp and look down. Connor had a mischievous look on his face, one that promised pleasure that had yet to come. 

 

“I want you naked and waiting patiently by the time I get back.” He said aloofly, exiting the room with purpose. Evan couldn't recall a time where he’s stripped faster. He felt a bit silly being naked in another person’s room, but Connor’s bed is soft and the sheets are cool against his heated skin. He allowed himself the luxury of laying down and turning his face into the pillow, his cock hard against his stomach. The blond bit his lip slightly as he brought a hand down to palm at himself, trying to relieve some of the pressure building in his stomach. This only helped to make him groan and buck up into his hand. Evan was brought back to reality by the tall silhouette standing in the doorway. 

 

“Do you know how beautiful you are, laid out on my bed and practically begging for me to fuck you?” Connor asked, rubbing teasing fingers along his proud erection. Evan blushed fiercely and tried to ignore how much the brunet’s words excited him. His cock twitched in agreement. Connor made his way over to the bed and dropped a knee on either side of the blond’s hips, effectively trapping him. Evan didn't mind as he brought his arms up to encase Connor. The brunet obliged and rained lazy kisses over Evan’s face, making him giggle. He made his way down Evan’s throat, kissing every red mark and swollen bite. He nipped playfully at Evan’s collarbones and licked delicate lines over his soft stomach. Connor gave Evan’s cock a kiss before placing his warm hands against the blond’s shaking thighs. 

 

“May I?” He asked, blue eyes pleading. Evan could only nod, not trusting his voice. Connor spread Evan’s legs gently and looked like he’d died and gone to heaven. Evan thought he heard Connor mumble ‘ _beautiful,’_ but he’s so overwhelmed at that point that it’s hard to tell. Evan didn’t know when Connor grabbed lube, but there's suddenly an insistent finger against him, circling, trying to breach the tight ring of muscle. The blond yelped softly as the first finger pressed in. Connor immediately pulled the finger out and looked up at Evan. 

 

“I need you to relax for me, babe.” He said, bringing his mouth back to Evan’s member. He could barely remember his own name. Connor’s warm, wet mouth was surrounding him and making the most glorious noises. The brunet made quick work of fingering him open after that. Evan threw his head back and moaned loudly as Connor hit something inside him that had him seeing stars. He stared down in wide eyed shock, only to meet Connor’s cocky grin. He immediately hit Evan’s prostate again, making him sob in pleasure. 

 

Evan was left feeling empty when Connor removed both his mouth and fingers from him. The blond was about to protest when he looked up to see Connor sliding on a condom and rubbing an ample amount of lube on his cock. He was kneeling proudly over Evan, hair wild and blue eyes glinting in the low light from the window. 

 

“Evan, if I don’t have you right this second, I’m going to lose my fucking mind.” He growled, leaning over to kiss the blond. Evan wrapped his arms around him and brought them together so they were chest to chest. 

 

“Please, Connor.” He begged, exposing his neck to the man. Connor groaned and buried his face into the blond’s neck as he gently pushed in, waiting for his partner to adjust before moving further. Evan could only grab onto Connor’s shoulders as he mewled softly, the strange sensation of being split open new for the blond. Connor helped him through it, trailing small kisses along his eyelids, nose, jaw, and mouth. When he finally bottomed out, the brunet braced himself on his elbows and stared down at the blond. Evan can only stare at the handsome man above him, at his gentle eyes and kind smile. He pushed a few strands of hair behind Connor’s ear, gently scratching the sensitive skin there. 

 

“Move.” He whispered like a prayer. Connor delivered, thrusting his hips gently at first. Evan moaned softly and allowed the brunet to build up a rhythm. He timidly began to meet his thrusts, biting at his lip to keep from making any embarrassing sounds. Of course, Connor noticed.

 

“Hey, I want to hear all the sounds coming out of that pretty mouth of yours.” When Evan didn't answer, Connor shifted his hips and hit the special little spot inside the blond that had him throwing his head back and moaning in delight. 

 

“Connor!” Evan yelled, wrapping his arms around the brunet’s broad shoulders and holding on for dear life. Connor grabbed ahold of his hips hard enough to bruise and began to pound the blond into the mattress, conscious to hit Evan’s prostate with every thrust. Evan was sure he was drooling and making the most ridiculous sounds, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Connor was beautiful and warm and making Evan feel pleasure he’d never experienced before, and he couldn’t get enough. 

 

“Con-Connor! I-I’m gonna come!” He shouted, his short nails digging into Connor’s shoulders painfully. The brunet only sped up and grabbed Evan’s leaking cock. “Then come.” He murmured, low and deep and _authoritative._ Evan couldn’t stop himself, he screamed himself hoarse and shot thick ropes of cum over his stomach and chest. The brunet buried his face in Evan’s neck and groaned as he emptied himself inside the blond. Connor rubbed Evan’s cock absently, to the point of sensitivity. He only stopped when Evan was mewling quietly and trying to pull away. 

 

The brunet gently pulled out of the blond and made quick work of the condom and cleanup. Evan could barely keep his eyes open as Connor settled himself in bed and pulled him into his arms. He buried his face in Connor’s chest, his mind repeating _safe_ and _warm_ like a mantra. 

 

Connor placed a chaste kiss to the top of Evan’s head before they both fall into a dreamless sleep.  

 


	2. The Morning After Is Always Awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan wakes up in a bed that's not his, Alana is a saint, and Jared finally gets those blueberry scones he's been craving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mild smut, but nothing too graphic :P
> 
> For Clarification: Evan doesn't know that Connor and Zoe are related, yet. He's never met the graphic designer or knew his name until last night, and since Connor didn't drop his last name, Evan's still in the dark. Even though Connor and Zoe are close, and he knows she has a brother named Connor who she talks about a lot, he doesn't connect the dots that their siblings. We good? :) 
> 
> Chapter 2, let's gooo.

A soft snuffling against the fine hairs of his neck rouses Evan from sleep. 

 

The blond blinked, a steady pressure behind his eyes making him grown slightly. He could already feel the affects of the hangover, but chose to push them to the back of his mind in hopes of finding bliss in the steadfast warmth behind him. Evan allowed his azure eyes to open slowly, trying to adjust to the abnormally bright room. He could make out a pristine bedside table and tastefully hung photos of Times Square on the wall. Appeased, he let himself melt into the strong arms furled around his waist. 

 

_Wait._

 

Evan didn’t have a pristine bedside table or tastefully hung photos of Times Square in his bedroom. 

 

And the accountant knew for damn sure he did not have a lover that held him close every morning and snuffled softly into the back of his neck. 

 

He could feel the panic start to bubble in his stomach. The events of last night were trickling into his mind like molasses, and Evan cursed himself for only having hazy memories of how he could have possibly ended up in a stranger’s bed. What happened to Zoe’s advice about harmless flirting? Because there was nothing sweet or innocent about where that harmless flirting had landed the blond. God, his head hurt and the room was too bright and it was too early. 

 

Evan cautiously opened his eyes again and spied a digital clock on the bedside table. It’s blue lights blinked the time at the man, unaffected by his mounting dread. It was half past eight, meaning he was already late for work. Cursing, Evan tried to wiggle his way out of the sinewy arms that entrapped his torso. The blond went ridged as the body behind him moaned and pressed a hard length against his thigh, lazily canting their hips before settling again. 

 

“Shit, shit, shit.” Evan mumbled as he tried to turn and get a look at his bedmate. He was met with a face full of wild brown locks. He quickly spit the hair from his mouth as memories of last night hit him like a truck. He had been at the bar, and Connor had rescued him from Roman’s immoral clutches, only to find that he rather liked Connor’s company and ended up kissing him in the back of his car. 

 

Did… Did he really let Connor, for all intents and purposes, fuck him into the mattress and then cuddle him after? The twinge of pain in his backside seemed enough proof to Evan that he would be walking oddly for the next couple of days. The pain and odd looks would be worth it though, considering the brunet had given Evan the most pleasurable night of his life. Sure, the blond had had some awkward fumbling arounds in college, but this definitely took the cake, not to mention the entire bakery along with it. 

 

Evan was late to work and his head hurt too much to try and pick through his tangle of emotions at the moment. Right now, he had to try and find all his discarded articles of clothing and try and come up with a speech that would appease Jared as to why he was late and dressed in his clothes from the night before. 

 

“Um, Connor?” Evan mumbled, trying to disentangle their limbs. The brunet mumbled something unintelligible and rubbed his cock against Evan’s distractingly. The blond could feel his length harder with interest, and he cursed his body’s reaction to the attractive man. This is what he had been trying to tell Zoe about last night. What was the proper hookup etiquette in this situation? Did he jerk Connor off as a thank you for last night, or did he run out of the room semi clothed before the man woke up and kicked him out himself? Did he have time to Google it? 

 

No, definitely not. Evan gently unfolded Connor’s arms from his waist, causing the brunet to mumble and turn over on his side. “Mhm, Evan.” He murmured, burying his face in his pillow. The blond blushed and quickly went about locating his clothing and dressing quickly. He gave the room a cursory scan to make sure he had grabbed everything before turning back to the sleeping figure. 

 

He liked Connor, and wouldn’t mind seeing him again, whether it be in the bedroom or outside strolling through Central Park. Would it be too presumptuous to leave his number and a promise to call sometime? Evan’s anxiety chose that moment to rear it’s ugly head. 

 

_Connor was drunk and you were a warm body to fill his bed for the night. Better to leave than be hurt when he kicks you out himself._

 

Evan gulped and let his eyes trail sadly on the floor. Maybe that was true. He thought Connor had been enjoying his company before the two started downing drinks like water, but that could have been Connor being nice and trying to comfort him after the Alder ordeal. Evan didn’t want to leave without saying thank you, though…

 

Spotting a notepad and pen near the bedside lamp, Evan made quick work of scrawling a hastily written thank you note and sticking it to the bathroom mirror before practically running out of the apartment. He tapped his foot impatiently in the elevator as he scanned his phone for messages. Zoe had sent him handful of drunken texts, along with an unflattering close up of her and Alana. Evan squinted and tried and make out where they were, but only managed to make his headache worse. There was a text from Jared saying that if he was going to show up late, he had better be bringing coffee and scones with him. The blond shot off an apology to his friend and absolved to bring him whatever pastries he wanted. 

 

Sighing, Evan looked up the directions to the nearest Starbucks and made quick work of walking the busy streets of New York. Usually, the bustling of traffic and commuters alike would make his skin crawl, but he found he couldn’t muster a shit to give at the moment. His head hurt, he was late to work, and his clothes felt grimy from having spent the night on Connor’s floor. 

 

The accountant finally located the coffee shop and walked in, unsurprised to find the line was practically out the door. He took his place in line and quickly pulled out his phone and dialed. Zoe’s contact picture popped up, a picture of the time the two had gone on a boat ride to Elis Island. He could feel the tension in his shoulders release and he felt like he could finally breath normally again. The phone rang about three times before Zoe’s slightly hoarse voice answered. 

 

“Hello?”

 

“Zoe! Please tell me you’re still at your apartment?” He pleaded, running a hand through his most likely disheveled hair. 

 

“Um, no? I’m at work, which is where you’re supposed to be right now. Why do you ask?” She questioned, sounding far to hungover to be awake at the current hour. 

 

“I was hoping you could bring me a change of clothes, but considering you’re at the office now…” He trailed off, cursing himself for not thinking ahead. 

 

“Change of clothes?… Oh, my God. You got laid last night. You _totally_ got laid! I knew no one would be able to resist you in that blue suit of yours.” Evan could hear shuffling over the line and felt dread creep up his spine. “Alana! Evan totally got laid last night!” He could hear a muffled response, most likely Alana. “I know right, the suit just does something for him!” 

 

“Zoe! Not the point right now! I- just keep Jared distracted until I can bring him his coffee, okay?” Evan urged, trying to keep his voice from shouting into the receiver. Luckily, he was almost to the front of the line and was able to get Jared’s complicated drink order and pastries in under five minutes. He dropped a tip in the jar and exited the shop, thanking his lucky stars it was only a seven minute walk to the _Kleinman Corps_. building. 

 

He arrived at nine, only slightly sweaty and mildly hungover. He could already hear voices coming from his office, and he bit off a grown at having to deal with people right off the bat. The blond entered his office and was met with the smiling faces of Alana and Zoe. Jared, on the other hand, had his feet up on the desk with a shit eating grin plastered on his face. 

 

“There he is, the Casanova of crunching numbers, the playboy of paying bills, the philanderer of financial plans, the-”

 

“I don't want to know how long it took you to come up with all those nicknames-”

 

“About as long as it took to realize that you didn’t show up to work. I thought you wandered into traffic, but that’s besides the point. Did you get my blueberry scone?” Jared asked. Evan rolled his eyes and threw the to-go bag at the brunet. He caught it easily and made a delighted sound at the contents inside. 

 

Zoe and Alana circled him from either side and grabbed him by the arms. He yelped as they dragged him towards Jared’s private bathroom. 

 

“Hey, what are you-”

 

“You look like you crawled your way out of the toilet, common. Let’s make you look a little more human.” Zoe said, shoving the blond toward the shower. Alana threw a towel at him, as well as a couple other toiletries he might need. When he gave her a questioning look, the dark skinned woman only rolled her eyes.

 

“I’ve worked for Jared for years now, you don’t think he’s had his fair share of rough nights?” She stated as she pushed Evan behind the divider between the shower and the wall. “Hand me your clothes.” Evan protested but eventually gave in. He could hear the two exit quietly out of the door, and he was met with silence. Finally. 

 

He turned on the shower and stepped in, letting the warm trickle of water wash away the sweat and cum of last night. His headache starts to dissipate, and he can finally form coherent thoughts without feeling like his brain is going to implode from the effort. 

 

Last night had been exceptional. It was like Connor knew exactly where to touch him to get the best reaction out of him. He had been so attentive and patient, making sure Evan was comfortable and ready before moving any further. He couldn't remember a night, well, ever, where his partner had been so in tune with his body and focused on getting him off first. 

 

Evan’s thoughts sidetracked, thinking of the way Connor had nipped playfully at his collarbones and bitten into the soft flesh of his neck. He brought his hands up and trailed them gently over the red marks that marred his chest. Slowly, he let his hand graze his stomach and over his hips. He noticed the faint bruising of large hands around his hips, the sight alone causing his cock to jump. He bit his lip and brought a tentative hand down to rub himself. 

 

Connor had been so… _in control._ He had dominated his body with kisses and whispered praises. Splayed him out on the mattress and showered his body with attention. Opened him up and showed him how pleasurable bottoming could be. Evan had only ever fingered himself, but having an actual cock inside him was something he had never expected. What surprised him was that he craved more. 

 

His hand sped up and he braced a shaking hand on the wall. He canted his hips as pearly liquid leaked from his head, helping guide his hand as he squeezed the base of his cock the way Connor had last night. He rubbed at his aching balls and rubbed a trail underneath his shaft. He was close, he could feel it in the base of his stomach. 

 

Thoughts of Connor fucking him into the mattress swirled in his head, accentuated by his still sore backside and tensing thighs. God, he wanted Connor here in the shower with him right now, telling him how good he was doing, how he looked as he took all of Connor in, how beautiful he was…

 

His fist barely muffled his shout as he released thick, white stands of cum against the shower floor. His legs felt like jelly and his eyes drooped slightly, but he pulled enough strength to quickly wash his hair and body with the borrowed shower supplies before stepping out and toweling off. He stepped outside and was met by Alana, who was holding his now dry-cleaned suit. 

 

“How?-”

 

“I’m very good at my job.” Instead of responding, Evan encased her in a hug. Alana chuckled and patted the man on the back, shooing him off to get dressed. When he came back to his office, Zoe and Alana were still seated, but Jared was nowhere to be found. At Evan’s questioning, Alana informed him that he had a business meeting to attend to. 

 

“So, who was it? Anyone we’d know?” Zoe asked as she absently went through some emails on her phone. Evan blushed slightly and took his seat behind the desk. He yelped slightly at his stinging backside, but Alana and Zoe were polite enough to ignore it. 

 

“I-It’s not important.” He mumbled as he logged into his computer. He heard Alana huff out a laugh. 

 

“So it is someone we know. Please tell me it wasn’t Roman. He was a little too intoxicated for my taste, last night.” She said, not bothering to hide her disgust behind a chipper smile. 

 

“No, he actually got Roman to leave me alone.” Evan said fondly, playing with a pen on his desk. 

 

“That was pretty thoughtful. Was he cute?” Zoe asked, now fully interested in the conversation. Evan bit his lip.

 

“He was handsome. Didn’t you guys see him? We talked at the bar all night.” Evan questioned, eyebrows knitting in confusion. Alana and Zoe shot each other a look before turning back to Evan in unison. It was…unnerving. 

 

“We left shortly after an enthusiastic board member tried to dip Zoe in a mockery of the Ballroom Tango.” Alana replied with a role of her eyes. The accountant looked between the two women as the gears in his head began to turn. The drunken texts from Zoe about how beautiful Alana looked in her smart tuxedo, the picture of the two in what Evan now realized was Zoe’s room, the lack of tension in their shoulders….

 

“Oh, my god. Did you two?…” He trailed off, pointing a finger between his coworkers. Alana’s eyes widened in shock and Zoe tried her hardest to keep a satisfied smile off her face. 

 

“Evan, it’s not what you think.” 

 

“It’s probably exactly what he thinks.” Zoe said, shooting Evan a wink. 

 

“Please don’t tell anyone. If word got out that I was sleeping with my assistant-”

 

“Alana, you’re one of my closest friends. I won’t tell anyone. I think it’s good. You two are really good for one another.” The blond said earnestly, placing a gentle hand over her’s. The V.P. smiled gratefully.

 

“Thanks, Evan.” 

 

“I know there was a reason we kept you around.” Zoe said, smiling affectionately at her best friend. The moment was broken by the shrill ringing of Evan’s office phone. He groaned and picked it up. Jared’s secretary informed him of the ten o’clock meeting about the financial plan for expanding advertising of the new technology line. He thanked her and made his way to one of the board rooms, flanked by Alana and Zoe. 

 

“Since you know who I’m currently sleeping with, will I ever get to meet yours?” Zoe asked. 

 

“Probably not.” The blond rolled his eyes and opened the door. 

 

Nothing could have prepared Evan for the sight of Connor sitting rigidly in the chair, every inch the business man he claimed to be. He had been discussing his ideas for designs he’d like to try  in the advertising campaign with Jared when he turned and met Evan’s eyes, stopping mid-sentence. All the color drained from Evan’s face and he felt blood rush in his ears. Connor, for his part, was doing a spot on impersonation of a fish out of water. 

 

“Evan!”

 

“C-Connor?” 

 

“Oh, good. We all know each other. Let’s get this meeting started, shall we?” Jared continued, ignorant to the drama that was unfolding in the boardroom. 

 

Evan can still hear Zoe laughing hysterically, even as Alana ushers her out of the room and down the hall. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Ev just can't catch a break, can he?


	3. It's All Fun And Games Until Someone Renames the Groupchat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor can't figure out why he's sad about an empty bed and Evan finds out more than one Murphy works for Jared.

Connor loved waking up to an empty bed, as it meant he didn’t have to go through the taxing ordeal of kicking last night’s fun to the curb.

 

Though not a notorious playboy, Connor could proudly say he had more than a few notches in the bedpost. Whether it be as big as screwing an A-lister at a premier to as small as a hookup in the back of a dirty bar, the brunet could muster no shame in knowing he could use the tall, dark, and mysterious schtick to his advantage. 

 

His only qualification?

 

Be willing and be a one time thing.

 

The thought of being tied down to another human being for more than just a night of carnal pleasure was enough to send uncomfortable pinpricks down his spine. Having lived with parents who should have divorced each other and moved on instead of staying together for the children’s sake, he just couldn’t bring himself to see the appeal in a real relationship. 

 

A real relationship meant emotions and love and compromise, and Connor wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to give so much of himself to another. Having dragged himself up from the darkest pits of his own personal hell (which he lovingly referred to as his high school years), he vowed to keep his interactions with potential partners purely physical.  

 

Sex was fun. Sex was uncomplicated. Sex meant no strings attached. What he lovingly murmured in the dark could easily be forgotten in the light of day. People could come and go, passing through his bed as easily as a blip on the radar, but Connor could steadfastly absolve to keep his guard up and drive back any advances with his sharp tongue and callous words. 

 

He was safe this way, happy, even. He had his business. He had Zoe. He had access to some of the best weed and booze in the country. 

 

So _why in the ever living fuck_ was he so disappointed to wake up to an empty bed? 

 

It was the slam of his front door that first alerted Connor that something was amiss. Usually, his bed partners would let themselves out in the late hours of the night, leaving Connor to take full advantage of the newly vacated space. He would smile in satisfaction and spread out on his kingsize bed, happy with the solitude of the apartment. 

 

Last night had been the exception. He watched with a blooming fondness in his chest as Evan, freshly fucked out and tired, had let his eyes flutter and eventually close. The brunet could hear his breath start to even out as sleep tried to wrap it’s hold around the man. Connor couldn’t find it in himself to wake the obviously drained blond, especially considering he felt the odd need to take him in his arms and hold him tightly to his chest. Evan had gladly tucked himself into Connor’s side, and the brunet took no time in aligning their bodies. He ignored how perfectly the smaller male melded to him, instead placing a chaste kiss on the top of his head and letting sleep claim him as well. 

 

 _‘You’re not nearly drunk enough to blame this behavior on liquor.’_ His conscious mumbled, to which he stuck his middle finger to and pushed to the back of his mind to deal with for when he was sober. 

 

The reverberating bang had shaken the last dredges of slumber from the designer, making him bring his hands to his tired eyes. He really needed to install some thicker curtains, because the bright New York sun was going to be the death of him. Groaning, he lazily flung an arm out in search of the warm body beside him. His hand was met with the cool touch of his silk sheets. Connor opened a cerulean eye and peeked over at the other side of the large bed. It appeared the accountant had slipped out without his notice. He cursed as his heart sank in his chest. He had been hoping to treat the blond to a nice breakfast before sending him off the work with a firm slap on the ass. Connor wanted to see the interesting colors Evan would turn before stuttering something incoherent and practically running out of the door. 

 

He stared up at the ceiling with a scowl, but figured it wasn’t worth moping around when there were things to be done. Picking up his wrinkled dress suit, he threw it hastily in the hamper before stepping into his marbled bathroom. Connor had been releasing his bladder when a shock of white caught his attention. There, on his bathroom mirror, was a hastily written note with Evan’s signature at the bottom. The brunet pushed a lock of hair behind his ear as he gently peeled it from the glass.

 

_Connor,_

 

_Thanks for the great night! You’re really ~~good in bed~~  a great guy. _

 

_The new designs look wonderful and I’m sure the new tech. line will do well because of it._

 

_Sincerely,_

 

_Evan Hansen_

 

Connor couldn’t help himself. He laughed until his stomach hurt and he had to hunch over the toilet to keep from vomiting. Leave it to Evan Hansen to write a thank you note for fucking him into the mattress. Instead of throwing it away, he placed it in his phone case and ignored his nagging conscious about emotional connections. So, what? Evan was a nice guy, and Connor hardly saw any of those anymore.  

 

He made quick work of showering and dressing, opting for a striking charcoal business suit and burgundy tie. The brunet gave himself an appraising look in the mirror before calling his driver and making his way out into the grueling city traffic. 

 

A business meeting with Jared Kleinman himself awaited the graphic designer. The CEO had liked his artistry for the advertising campaign so much that he asked the brunet to come back as the Head Advisor for designing the upcoming technology line logos. Connor suspected it also had something to do with the fact that Jared enjoyed exchanging sarcastic banter with him, but he’d keep that opinion to himself. 

 

He could feel his pulse turn into double-time the closer he got to the towering mammoth _Kleinman Corporations_ called HQ. A testament to his ego, Jared saved no expense in having the glittering glass beauty reach heavenward. It wasn’t the sight of architectural wonder that had his hands clamming up, and God knows it wasn’t for Jared. Not in the slightest. Connor wanted to see Jared’s cute little accountant.

 

He was fascinating. Why _him_ of all people made his heart race and cheeks tint red? Connor had to find out, _he had to._ Working on a project for the company was a convenient excuse to dissect the anxious man and figure out how he had snuck past the brunet’s carefully constructed walls. Once he solved the puzzle, he’d be able to reinforce his emotions and not have anymore slip ups like the one Evan was causing at the moment. 

 

He’d go back to his revolving door of different men every night, and Evan could go back to crunching numbers and trying to fade into the background at social events. 

 

Right?

 

Right. 

 

_‘Wrong. You’re well and truly fucked, Murphy. It looks like the beginning of the end. Have you said hello to your suburban house and white picket fence, yet? Evan probably makes a mean apple pie to put on the windowsill.’_

 

Connor gripped the expensive leather seats until his hands turned an alarming shade of white. Sometimes, his conscious really needed to shut the fuck up. He was so absorbed with battling the voice inside his head that he barely noticed how he ended up seated in Kleinman’s boardroom until the owner himself walked in, a blueberry scone in tow. 

 

“Connor Murphy, the 80’s punk rocker hair doesn’t hide the fact that you’re still hungover, but who cares? So am I! Scone?” He presented the pastry, to which Connor politely declined.

 

“Jared Kleinman, I wouldn’t be hungover if your ugly mug hadn’t scheduled a business meeting at ten in the fucking morning.” He replied, shooting the entrepreneur a humoring smile. They shook hands and seated themselves across from each other. 

 

“Ugly mug? I saw your gay ass checking me out in this suit. Common, you can’t tell me I look anything less than immaculate.” He put on a shit-eating grin. Connor had to give him praise where praise was due. Jared may have been a cocky little shit, but he knew how to wear a suit.

 

“Sorry, Jared, but you’re not my type.” 

 

“Not you’re type?! I’m hot and you kno-” 

 

A soft scuttling could be heard outside the room before the door opened with a soft breeze. There, in the doorway of the boardroom, stood the object of Connor’s internal struggle. He was wearing his pristine suit from the night before, but lacked the black bow tie that the brunet had found so endearing. His collar was opened slightly at his neck, revealing the trail of red marks Connor had left there the night before. It appeared that Evan hadn’t yet looked in the mirror that day, as he definitely would have been panicking at the thought of people seeing what he got up to late last night. Connor felt his cock harden with pleasure at the sight of the hickies. He liked people knowing Evan had been claimed by him, at least for one night.

 

_Wait. No. Stop!_

 

“Evan?”

 

“C-Connor?”

 

“Oh, good. We all know each other. Let’s get this meeting started, shall we?” Jared said, rising from his seat and adjusting his suit jacket. 

 

A woman in her twenties started howling with laughter behind Evan. Connor felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice on his head. He _knew_ that laugh. Over the blond’s shoulder was his sister. Kleinman’s V.P. led her out with a guiding hand on her back, but the brunet only had eyes for the accountant. 

 

He looked shellshocked, and the ashen skin tone from the hangover wasn’t helping. Connor felt his heart sink. Why wasn’t Evan happy to see him? He made to stand to try and help the blond, who was looking closer and closer to fainting on the spot. 

 

“Hey, Ev, you don’t look so good, do you need a paper bag?…” Jared asked, concern lacing his voice despite the humorous words.  

 

The accountant turned and walked out of the room.

 

* * *

 

Evan thinks he might have made the excuse of having to use the bathroom, but he can hardly remember. Was it a coherent sentence? He sure hopes so. At this point, he’s just glad something other than unintelligent grunting left his mouth. 

 

He’s down the hall before Jared can get another scathing word in edgewise. Evan isn’t sure where he’s going, just that it needs to be as far away from Connor as possible. He doesn’t think he can handle seeing the man who had his dick in him not eight hours ago.

 

Wasn’t that the point of a one night stand? You hook up with the attractive stranger from the bar, spend a night together, and then never see each other again? This was just his luck. Just when he was about to descend the stairs to go hide in the basement, a hand shot out of the corner boardroom office and pulled him in. Evan’s vision swam slightly, but he managed to stay vertical as he took in the sight of Zoe and Alana.

 

The blonde had claimed a boardroom seat, a pink tint coloring her pretty face. She turned toward him, mischief evident in her eyes. 

 

“P-Please don’t spin me like that again, I’m still hungover.” Evan muttered, scrubbing his hands over his face. Alana rolled her dark eyes and made him take a seat at the large oak table. Zoe let him get comfortable before slamming a hand down.

 

“I encourage you to get laid, and out of all the people at the party, you choose _my brother_ to get your rocks off with?” She asked, sounding both disbelieving and on the edge of laughing again. Evan feels all the color drain from his face, his eyes going as wide as saucers. 

 

“Y-Your b-brother? W-What do you m-mean, your brother?!” He’s practically yelling at this point, but he can’t bring himself to care. He’s hungover, his ass hurts, and apparently he’s violated the Best Friend Code by sleeping with Zoe’s sibling. The blonde looks confused and turns toward Alana for help. The V.P. looks between the two before turning to Evan.

 

“Yes, Zoe’s brother. Connor Murphy? He was the graphic designer we hired to complete the advertising campaign compositions.” 

 

Evan feels like an idiot. He doesn’t know what he could possibly say to dig himself out of the hole he’s thrown himself into. The blond bites at his thumbnail before pulling it out and squeezing it between his fingers.

 

“I-I keep track of finances, not faces…” He mumbles, dropping his head in shame. His ears feel hot and he’s sure he looks like a ripe tomato. “Zoe, I’m so sorry. I knew you had a brother, but I didn’t realize m-my Connor and your Connor were the same C-Connor.” 

 

“Ev, it’s totally fine, I don’t really care. If anything, if this gets him to stop sleeping around, I’ll pay for your first date.” She said, smiling coyly. 

 

“W-We aren't going to d-date!” The words tasted funny on his tongue. “If anything, he’s probably regretting it because Jared’s had to have made at least three jokes about me having a tree kink by now.” Zoe patted his back encouragingly. 

 

“Chin up, Ev. It only gets worse from here.” The blond looked up at her questioningly. Alana took that moment to step back in.

 

“We’ve asked Connor to come back as an advisor for the new ad campaign. I’m afraid you’re going to be seeing more of him than you’d like.” She bit her lip. “Considering you’ve seen mostly everything though, that shouldn’t be much of a problem.” Zoe gaped and let out a whoop.

 

“That’s my girl!” She gave the V.P. a quick kiss on the cheek as Evan let out a frustrated whine. 

 

“Seriously, why didn’t you warn me your brother was working for the company ahead of time?”

 

“Considering we have the same last name and look alike, I figured you’d put two and two together.”

 

“Zoeeee.” He dragged, laying his head on the table in defeat. Alana started tapping at her phone incessantly. She finally let out a satisfied sigh and put her phone away.

 

“I have some good news for you, Evan. I debriefed Jared on the entire incident, and he’s agreed to let you take the day off. Go home and destress, I think you need it. I have some great meditation techniques I learned in Thailand if you want some point-”

 

“Why did you tell Jared? You’re practically begging him to roast me alive-”

 

“Evan Hansen, you know Jared would have looked at the security footage and drawn his own conclusions. He’s done it before. This was the better alternative. Come on, I’ll walk you to the door.” All traces of protest left him as he let Alana and Zoe lead him to the ground floor and hail him a taxi. Maybe some time off would do him some good.

 

* * *

 

A soft vibrating sound woke Evan from his light nap. He blinked sleepily and reach blindly for his cellphone. Upon locating it, he brought it close to his face and tried to get his eyes to focus on the screen. 

 

Zoe had sent out a group chat which was appropriately named **‘ _plz come except J-dawg,’_** along with details about where her band would be performing. The blond couldn’t help but chuckle as Jared protested the name, but his laughter soon died as the chat was changed to **_‘evan has seen both murphys nekked,’_** along with a rather crude symbol. Zoe had forgotten he was sleeping on her couch one time and had walked out of the shower while belting some rather impressive notes, and neither Jared nor Zoe had let him forget. Honestly, Evan was sure he was more embarrassed about the whole ordeal than Zoe was. 

 

He was too drained at the moment to fight Jared on the name, so clicked on the link the blonde had attached, instead. The link loaded quickly and displayed a small, outdoor music festival that would be taking place in a few days time. Evan couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he read through the list of acts, some of which were fairly well known by the general public. 

 

What a lot of people didn’t know about Zoe was that in addition to working at _Kleinman Corp.,_ she also worked on the side as an aspiring musician. Her band had slowly been working their way up and had a significant following on social media, and landing this gig would no doubt boost their popularity and name. 

 

_[Evan Hansen] 8:38 p.m._

 

Of course I’ll be there! So proud of everyone’s hard work and dedication! 

 

 _[Jared Kleinman]_ 8:39 p.m. 

 

Treevan, R U secretly a mom? Don't 4get 2 brng a camera, dey grO ^ so fst.

 

_[Evan Hansen] 8:40 p.m._

 

???

 

_[Alana Beck] 8:41 p.m._

 

@jared, I’ve met 4th graders who are more literate than you. :) 

 

_[Evan Hansen] 8:41 p.m._

 

lol :) 

 

The accountant placed his phone down and went off in search of something edible in his rather sparse fridge. He really needed to go to the grocery store, but he placed that thought aside when he found a lone box of Mac ’N’ Cheese in his cabinet. He hummed quietly to himself as he prepared the meal, letting his mind wander and unwind after the stressful day. Coming to, he quickly served himself and reclaimed his seat on the couch. He grabbed his phone in anticipation for Jared’s wrath of brazen texts, but found only one from an unknown number. 

 

_[Unknown] 8:45 p.m._

 

Hey, you left your bow tie at my house. 

 

_[Evan Hansen] 9:02 p.m._

 

Sorry, who is this? 

 

_[Unknown] 9:05 p.m._

 

connor murphy, i’m in the group chat Zoe made and saw your #

 

_[Evan Hansen] 9:07 p.m._

 

Oh, right! If it’s not too inconvenient, could you bring it to the office the next time you work?

 

_[Unknown] 9:09 p.m._

 

i was thinking you could come over to my place and grab it???

 

_[Unknown] 9:12 p.m._

 

or i could give it to you at the concert??? 

 

_[Evan Hansen] 9:33 p.m._

 

That works! Thank you, Connor! :)

 

_[Connor Murphy :) ] 9:35 p.m._

 

anything for you, ev  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have a name for Zoe's band, leave it down below! I love your suggestions! :) 
> 
> Not sure how I feel about how this chapter turned out. It literally took forever to write Connor's P.O.V., it was v. difficult for me, Evan's is so much easier :P 
> 
> Please don't come after me with fire and pitchforks for making Connor a hoe, I have good reason for it! I like to think that after being shunned in high school for being a freak as well as having parental problems, once Con was out in the real world, he'd take advantage of being wanted physically, you know? It kind of reminds me of Tony Stark before Iron Man, if that makes sense? He has a lot of money and power, and has seen how people will use him to get to it. By putting up walls and only have one night stands, he can protect himself from a lot of it. 
> 
> Yup.


	4. Leave Eyeliner to the YouTube Makeup Gurus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan helps out backstage before the concert and runs into the last person he wants to see. Okay, he wants to see him, but that's beside the point!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to @dearevansboyfriend for Zoe's band name! Thank you to everyone who suggested band names, I enjoyed getting to read them! :)
> 
> So... Be More Chill might make a cameo in this chapter..... you're welcome?
> 
> Alrighty, so this is a bit of a filler chapter to set up for the next one. Hope you guys like it!

“Evan, how good are you at applying eyeliner?”

 

“Uhm, not at all?” 

 

“Perfect! Come here!” 

 

The blond stared blankly at the pencil that was shoved unceremoniously into his hand. What Zoe expected him to do with it, God only knew. He glanced up and found the musician looking at him expectantly. 

 

“Michael over there is hopeless when it comes to makeup, and I feel like your inexperienced hand will give us the ‘ _my parents still think it’s a phase’_ aesthetic we’re going for. Plus, there’s only two more acts before we go on, and I still have to do Christine’s makeup.” 

 

“Zoe, I don’t think-” Did she just?… Oh, great. She was using her puppy dog eyes on him. The assistant knew perfectly well that Evan was helpless to resist her requests whenever she batted her eyes and wobbled her lip just so. 

 

“ _Fine_.” Evan grumbled as he marched off in search of the base player, Michael Mell. The musician worked as a soundboard technician for one of the more popular New York music companies. He and Zoe met in college and had bonded over their love of music and cheap, greasy food. Being both music/business double majors, they decided that forming a band was a great way to pass the time when they weren’t studying. 

 

Zoe liked to refer to herself and Michael as the _‘OG’s’_ , but their band adopted three more members over the years. There was Christine, a pint-sized powerhouse who played the keyboard, a laid back man named Jake who played second guitar and looked more like a sports star than a musician, and Rich, a fiery guy who practically blew the roof off of every place they performed with his exceptional drumming. 

 

The blond quickly found the technician sitting atop a stage platform, his chunky headphones blasting Marley.

 

“Hey, Michael.”

 

“Hey, Evan! Glad you could make it, man. You here to make me look pretty?” He joked and batted his eyes at the accountant. Evan chuckled and bit his lip. 

 

“I-I can try. I’ve never done this before.” He held the eyeliner pencil up weakly and waved it around. Michael shrugged and beckoned the blond to come closer. 

 

“It can’t be worse than when Jeremy tried to do it. I think I had more black in my eyeball than around it.” Evan winced in sympathy and sent up a silent prayer to whatever deity was listening that he kept the black pencil as far away from Michael’s cornea as possible. His tongue peaked out from his pink lips as he clumsily worked around the technician’s glasses. 

 

He stepped back slightly to sample his handwork. All in all, it wasn’t the greatest application the world had ever seen, but it didn’t look like a four year old had applied it either, so Evan counted his blessings and handed the other man a mirror. Michael eyed it slightly before nodding in approval and giving the blond a large smile. 

 

 

“Looks great, dude. Oh, before I forget! We’re going out for $2 margaritas after the show. You game?” The thought of consuming anymore alcohol after what happened the last time had Evan’s stomach rolling uncomfortably. 

 

“I-I’ll just be the designated driver, you guys’ll want to drink after the show.”

 

“This guy’s the best!” Michael shouted over at Rich and Jake before giving the blond a firm slap on the back. Evan blushed and waved at the other two band members before making his way back to Zoe. The blonde was carefully applying a smoking brown to Christine’s eyes as Evan moved behind her shoulder to watch. He must have been breathing too loudly because Zoe suddenly turned around in a huff and stared down the accountant. 

 

“You’re making me nervous just standing there. I feel like I’m going to poke poor Chris in the eye-”

 

“I don’t want to lose an eye.” Christine chimed in. Zoe tapped the end of her brush against her darkly painted lips before snapping his fingers in enlightenment.

 

“Could you go back to my dressing room and grab the backstage passes? I’ve been meaning to hand them out to you guys, but the stage manager has kind of been on my ass all day and I keep forgetting-”

 

“Hey, it’s no problem. I-I’ll just go…” Zoe pointed him in the right direction and Evan wandered off down a random hallway. Though it took him more time than he would have liked to admit, he finally found the dressing room marked ‘ _Burnt Out’_ in shining, gold letters. Pushing on the door gently, he let himself in, only to find that the light was already on. A tall man with curly brown hair was laying a bouquet of flowers on the small vanity. 

 

“Oh! Excuse me, I didn’t know anyone else was in here-” The stranger turned around, surprise evident in his azure eyes. Of all the people to run into…

 

“Evan, what’re you doing back here? Shouldn’t you be out in the audience with Alana and Jared?” He asked, taking a step toward the smaller man. Evan hunched his shoulders and played with the collar of his blue button down. 

 

“Z-Zoe asked me to come backstage for moral support, b-but I think it was more because she wanted me to bring her coffee, so…” He laughed weakly and stared at his shoes. 

 

Sure, he had been mentally preparing himself for seeing the brunet, but his imagined version of the man paled in comparison to the real thing. Connor was dressed in sinfully tight black jeans and a grey V-neck, a worn leather jacket accentuating his broad shoulders. He could hear the designer chuckle quietly and the sound of footsteps on the plush carpet. 

 

What was the phrase people used for conquering nerves? Imagine the audience naked? Well, that wouldn’t really help him right now, would it? He already knew what the brunet looked like without a stitch of clothing, and Evan didn’t want to make the conversation anymore difficult than it already was by having to cover up an erection on top of it all. 

 

“Let me guess, she gave you that one sad look she's basically got down to a science and wobbled her lip. Am I right?” Connor asked self-assuredly. Evan chuckled quietly and nodded his head. 

 

“Yeah. She knows I’ll basically do whatever she wants if she does.” He admitted, scuffing the toe of his shoe against the floor. 

 

“You really shouldn’t let her get away with that.” Connor muttered fondly as he ran a hand through his hair. Evan’s eyes were transfixed on the long length of neck that was exposed by the movement. His staring must not have been subtle enough, as Connor quickly honed in on his interest and closed the distance between them. 

 

“Luckily for me, I don’t need to resort to childish means to get what I want.” He rasped, his hands reaching out to gently caress the blond’s hips. The pads of his thumbs lightly traced the shape of his hips before settling on his waist. Evan’s heart jumped into his throat and he was sure the brunet could hear it beating wildly beneath his chest. Connor leaned in and mouthed against his neck before placing kisses on the sensitive skin behind his left ear. The blond moaned and quickly bit his lip before anymore embarrassing sounds could escape. The brunet gave his jaw a quick nip before pulling back.

 

“I want to hear you…” He said kindly, one hand running hotly up Evan’s back and the other settling firmly on his ass. The blond’s head was spinning from the sudden attention and heat of the attractive man before him. Nodding meekly, Evan leaned in to place a chaste kiss on Connor’s thin lips. The designer threaded his fingers through the blond’s short hair and pulled him impossibly closer. Evan could taste mint and spice, and he opened his mouth as a probing tongue lapped gently at the top of his palette. 

 

Evan could very well lose himself in this moment. Connor was skilled with his tongue and his warm hands felt so wonderful against his touch starved skin. All at once, the image of waking up beside Connor and not having to sneak out appeared in his mind’s eye. 

 

He’d wake up and smile happily at Evan before pulling him close and kissing him lovingly. 

 

They’d walk through Central Park, Connor laughing fondly as Evan gushed about the greenery. 

 

Late into the night, they’d cuddle on the couch or floor, Connor speaking quietly into his ear as they ignored the movie on TV. 

 

The image was so clear that Evan couldn’t help but throw his arms around the brunet and kiss him all the more passionately. He could feel Connor’s resulting moan in his mouth and he allowed himself to be maneuvered against the wall. 

 

The heat building in Evan’s stomach was suddenly doused as something Zoe had mentioned a few days before emerged from the depths of his clouded mind. 

 

 _“Ev, it’s totally fine, I don’t really care. If anything, if this gets him to stop sleeping around, I’ll pay for your first date.”_ He can still see her coy smile as she stared at him with sad eyes. 

 

‘ _Stop him from sleeping around?’_

 

His fingers dug into Connor’s shoulders and the brunet let out an attentive growl as he pinned the blond to the wall. Evan’s hands began to shake as Connor brought both hands down on his ass and squeezed possessively. 

 

_‘Am I just a distraction until he has someone better to fuck?…_

 

Evan’s domestic daydream of Connor cracked in two, replaced with the image of Connor fucking a younger, more handsome man on the bed he and the brunet had shared a few days prior. 

 

Connor rubs his length against Evan’s and hotly kisses under his jaw. The blond can’t even bring himself to enjoy the stimulation, too trapped in his own mind to respond. He’s grasping at straws, trying to piece things together from what Zoe has told him about this man he hardly knows. Before he met Connor, he remembers Zoe mentioning how she wished her brother would find a serious partner so she would have someone to gossip with during family holidays. According to her, the brunet had never been in a steady enough relationship to bring anyone home. 

 

_‘He sees me as a plaything, something he can use and throw away once he’s done.’_

 

“Evan.” The man in question moans and hoists the blond’s leg around his hip to get a better angle. Evan tries not to cry. 

 

Connor was lightning before the strike. Beautiful and fascinating, but also capable of causing destruction and horror. Evan would be struck if he got too close. 

 

“…s-stop.” Evan mumbled as he weakly pushed against Connor’s chest. The brunet didn’t hear him and kept grabbing at any exposed flesh he could find. 

 

“C-Connor, stop!” He said more forcefully, pushing the brunet away from him. Evan felt too exposed, his collar open and clothes skewed. He refused to look at the brunet. He would not allow himself to be a plaything for this man. Evan didn’t really like himself, but he respected himself enough to know that he deserved more than to be a one night stand for someone who didn't care about him.   

 

“Evan, I’m sorry.” Connor said, saddened by the blond’s reaction. He had been sure the man had been enjoying himself, especially considering the way Evan had moaned and rubbed against him. He wished the accountant would look him in the eye, because the thing over his shoulder really couldn’t have been that interesting. 

 

“L-Listen. We’re coworkers, now. I-I-I… C-Can we…. I think we need to keep things professional between us from now on.” It was the closest Evan could get to the truth without telling Connor he wanted more than he felt the brunet was willing to give. He didn’t think he’d be able to cope if he let himself fall, only to find out Connor had taken another as easily as he had taken him. 

 

“I…um. If that’s what you want.” Evan was sure he imagined the melancholy tone in Connor’s voice, but chose to ignore it. 

 

“Come on, Zoe’s going to be on soon. She’ll be disappointed if we aren’t in the audience.” He said stoically as he turned and walked out the door. Connor followed behind somberly. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our Evan is a strong, independent bi-guy who isn't putting up with Con's crap, and I couldn't be more proud.


	5. The Concert: A Two Part Mini Opera (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang rocks out at Zoe's concert and Evan and Connor share a meaningful conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mentions of past suicide attempts/past self harm. If this is a trigger, please do not read the back half of the chapter. Keep yourself safe, I'll recap at the end. <3

“Woah! Get it, white girl!” Jared yelled and banged a hand on the stage. Alana shot him a disapproving look and placed her delicately manicured hands on his hips.

 

“That’s not appropriate concert etiquette.” She stared her boss down, not in the least bit intimidated by the CEO.

 

“Zoe knows that I only heckle with the upmost respect for her-”

 

“So help me, Jared, I will schedule all of your meetings tomorrow for 7 A.M.” 

 

“…good job, Zoe. You look beautiful and your band’s really good…” Jared cheered weakly and patted the stage awkwardly. Alana nodded in approval and turned to watch as her girlfriend’s band set up before their performance. While plugging in her guitar, Zoe met Alana’s eyes and gave her a cheeky smile before blowing a kiss. Jared watched in delight as Alana tried to hide her blush as she weakly waved back. 

 

“What the hell was that?” He teased, pointing between the musician and his right hand woman. 

 

“I haven't the faintest idea what you’re talking about.” Alana replied stoically. Jared raised an unconvinced eyebrow and put himself in Alana’s personal space.

 

“The only time I’ve _ever_ seen you blush is when you tripped while trying to give that presentation  on environmental impacts.” Alana would not be moved by Jared’s showmanship. Her lip curled downward and she crossed her arms. 

 

“Your point, being?” 

 

“Don’t play coy with me, sister, something’s up with you and your cute little assistant.” Shock colored Alana’s features. Jared’s sarcasm and quips aside, he could be observant when he wanted to be. 

 

 “Do you want me to run love letters between you two? I’m sure I can get one of the interns to do it, they like feeling like valued members of the company-” 

 

“Jared, if you tell anyone-”

 

“Can I at least tell Evan?” 

 

“Jared!” 

 

“What? He’s cute when he gets all awkward and blushy.” Jared snapped his fingers. “Speaking of, I should really give him a raise for sleeping with Murphy. I about pissed myself laughing after that boardroom meeting the other day-”

 

“Hey, guys!” 

 

The heads of the company turned and met Evan’s slightly dull blue eyes. Alana pretended not to notice his slightly hunched shoulders and furrowed brows, chalking it up to having to be in the crowded venue for an extended period of time. Jared wasted no time in stepping forward and slapping the blond on the shoulder. 

 

“About time you showed up.” He peered over Evan’s shoulder and met Connor’s stormy eyes. Never one to leave well enough alone, he winked at the brunet and gave Evan’s shoulder a squeeze. “Getting in a second round before the show?” Evan gasped in surprise and batted Jared’s hand off. If the CEO knew how close to the truth he was, he’d had a field day.

 

“N-No! W-Why would you think that?!” Maybe that was a bit too defensive. Without having to look, Evan knew Connor had gone rigid beside him. 

 

“At my own sister’s concert? That’s disgusting, man.” Connor rumbled, trying to defuse the situation. 

 

“Stop being gross.” Evan mumbled in agreement. Jared rolled his eyes and moved off to the side so the two could join them at the lip of the stage. 

 

“Just one night, I want someone to laugh at my jokes. I’m hilarious. I should be charging you all to listen to me.” The resounding slap to the back of Jared’s head made Evan laugh before he could stop himself. 

 

“Ow! May I remind you that I can still fire your ass?!” Jared screeched as Connor retracted his hand with a dark chuckle. 

 

“May I also remind you that it’d be in poor taste to fire the best graphic designer New York has to offer?” He snarked back. Connor couldn’t help but laugh as Jared stiffly rubbed the back of his head.

 

“Evan, do you keep him around because he’s cute?” 

 

“Oh, my God! Jared! We aren’t d-dating!”

 

“Shh! Zoe’s about to go on!” Alana shushed them quickly as an announcer stepped out from the wings.

 

“Who’s having a good time, tonight?” He yelled into the mic. The deafening screams of the slightly intoxicated crowd had Evan squeezing himself closer to the stage. Maybe he should have put more thought into coming. A crowded outdoor music festival was much different from the bars the band usually played at. He could feel his palms start to clam up and he quickly wiped them on his pants. 

 

“Let’s keep the good times rolling with our next group, who are natives to NYC.” This was met with enthusiastic hoots from the audience. “Please give it up for _Burnt Out!_ ” 

 

Evan tried to focus on Zoe’s purple dress and combat boots, anything to keep the rising anxiety from clawing it’s way out of his chest. The crowd was too loud, and he was too anxious to be able to enjoy his friend’s performance. Maybe he should have asked Alana to record it, he could have watched it at home, safe in his apartment and away from the multitude of screaming fans. God, he wished he was normal enough to be able to stand in a crowd and enjoy the concert like everyone else. Instead, his skin felt uncomfortably tight as strangers pushed at him from all angles. The blond could feel his teeth grinding together and his short nails digging crescent moons into his palms. 

 

Evan was taking shaky breaths when an intoxicated stranger spilled his beer onto the hapless blond. That was the final straw. He would apologize to Zoe later, but right now he needed to get out of the concert as quickly as he could. Just as Evan was about to start sprinting his way through the crowd, a hand wound itself around his waist and pushed him between the stage lip and a hard chest. The blond gasped in surprise and turned around to fight off the contact. Instead of an inebriated concert go-er, Evan met Connor’s sympathetic eyes. 

 

“You look a bit anxious…” He said, lips pressed tightly against Evan’s ear to be heard. “Zoe’s concerts used to be pretty stressful for me too, but that’s probably because I had to listen to drunken idiots talk about how much they wanted to bang her after the show.” The brunet’s little story was enough to get Evan to smile tightly and nod. His chest still felt tight, but at least he didn’t have to worry about strangers running into him anymore. Connor had formed the equivalent of a human cage around his body, taking the brunt of the crowd. 

 

“Just watch her… isn’t she awesome?” He mumbled into the blond’s ear. For once, Evan was able to look up at the stage and actually take in the performance before him. 

 

Zoe played her guitar with practiced grace, her fingers easily fingering the cords as she sang. Evan had always adored Zoe’s voice, and he had the wandering thought of if Connor could sing, as well. Shrugging it off, he followed the woman’s movements as she maneuvered around the stage and interacted with the audience. He loved seeing her this way, hair wild and eyes sparkling with passion. 

 

He had to agree with Connor, his best friend _was_ awesome. 

 

It felt like all too soon that the band’s set was over, and they were waving and blowing kisses at the audience. They had blown the metaphorical roof off thanks to the collaborative effort from all members. Evan was pretty sure he saw Rich do a backflip, but he was too caught up in watching Zoe belt that he couldn’t remember properly. 

 

“Hey, let’s go backstage and have a try at being groupies. Alana, you basically have the whole groupie persona down, so I’ll follow your lead.” At her questioning look, Jared couldn’t help but smile mischievously. 

 

“You’re already sleeping with one of the band members.” With that tasteful comment, he took off through the crowd, Alana uncharacteristically fast on his heels. Evan turned around and came face to face with Connor, not realizing he had drifted so close to the brunet. Damn him for making him feel safe!

 

Leaning back slightly, he tried to sell that coworkers _totally_ held each other close like this all the time. Without meaning to, the designer sighed fondly and squeezed Evan’s waist. The blond smiled before he could remind himself that he had told Connor off not a half hour before. 

 

Why was his heart fluttering? Why did the light from the stage have to catch Connor’s eyes just so, to the point where they looked like they were shining with unshed emotion? No, he had to stick to his guns and keep his resolve. They were coworkers now, and coworkers didn’t gaze into each others eyes while the world faded from view and gave them a perfect moment in time.

 

Why was Connor making this _so_ difficult? 

 

“We should probably stop Alana from skinning Jared alive.” Evan pulled away from Connor’s grasp and chuckled weakly. The brunet seemed reluctant to release his hold on the blond, but couldn’t think of an excuse to pull him close again. 

 

“Alana could probably run the company without Jared, so is it _really_ a bad thing?” Evan gave the brunet a disapproving look before disappearing into the throng of people. Connor chuckled and picked up his feet to catch the shorter male before he got too far ahead. 

 

People began to thin out further away from the stage, and Evan felt like he could finally breath in something that wasn’t alcohol or body odor. He loved Zoe, he really did, but he didn’t think his heart could handle another concert for at least six months. 

 

A tug on his hand stopped the blond in his tracks, and he turned back to see Connor’s slightly open mouth. He dropped Evan’s hand like it burned him, letting his hands squeeze loosely at his sides.

 

“Sorry, coworkers, right. Anyway, the backstage area is this way.” He turned on his heel and stalked toward an unmarked door. Evan was helpless to follow, and he watched as Connor’s muscles flexed through his leather jacket. 

 

A burly man with a sour expression stood at the door, most likely annoyed at having to turn away fans all evening. Connor approached him confidently. 

 

“Hey, man. My sister’s playing tonight and my coworker and I wanted to congratulate her.” He said, trying to open the door. The guard was quick to push Connor back.

 

“Sorry, kid. No backstage pass, no entrance.” He barked, glowering at the brunet. Evan felt his stomach sink. His only job that night had been to grab the passes, but he got distracted by… _other things._

 

Connor was tense beside him, and Evan quickly led him away before the situation could escalate. They wandered aimlessly around the park as Evan tried uselessly to reach Zoe. Figured, the one time she didn’t have her phone glued to her hand was the one time Evan needed to get ahold of her. Huffing in annoyance, he shoved his phone back into his pocket and turned to the other man.

 

“Well, Zoe’s not answering her phone.” Evan said as he rubbed his eyes tiredly. “I-I’m sorry, I was supposed to grab the passes and I completely forgot and-” Connor placed a warm hand on his bicep.

 

“Hey, it’s alright. That guy was a douchebag, anyway. Seriously, calling me a kid? I’m twenty-nine years old, damn it.” The blond smiled apprehensively, still trying to gage whether the brunet was still mad. 

 

“At least you don’t get mistaken for still being in high school.” He replied, making Connor chuckle loudly. 

 

“It’s the wide-eyed, still hopeful look you have in your eyes. Seriously, every other adult I know is miserable. I’m pretty sure it’s a prerequisite to being an actual grown-up.” Evan bit his lip to hide his growing smile.

 

“That’s not true. Jared is happy and he’s technically an adult.” 

 

“He also has a ton of money and basically owns a good chunk of the Lush franchise, he doesn’t have a lot to be miserable about. And I wouldn’t go as far as to say he’s an adult, per say. I’d say he’s more the mildly-irritating little brother that you tolerate on a good day.” The blond couldn’t help it, he laughed outright at Connor’s comment. 

 

“I’m glad I’m not the only one that sees it!” He said in between giggles. Connor smiled broadly at him and waited quietly as Evan collected himself. They walked in silence, the faint sounds of the concert drifting in and out of the trees. The blond walked over to a sturdy oak and planted himself at the base. He figured it’d be better to wait for Zoe to call rather than wander aimlessly around. Connor followed, leaning his head back against the trunk.

 

“Zoe did a great job, tonight.” Evan said as the silence dragged on for too long. Connor nodded, his eyes fluttering closed. The blond was sitting close enough that he could make out the shadows created by the brunet’s long lashes.

 

“I’m really proud of her, you know?” He said, not bothering to open his eyes. “She deserves the fucking world, and I wish I could give it to her. God knows she gave it to me.” Evan made an interested sound, not trusting his voice. Connor sounded vulnerable, and the last thing he wanted to do was scare the brunet away. Sighing, the designer roughly ran a hand through his hair before tucking himself more comfortably into the tree. 

 

“I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but fuck it-“ 

 

“H-Hey, you d-don’t have to tell me anything if you d-don’t want to!” Evan hurriedly said. Connor’s eyes snapped open and he intently stared at the blond. Evan felt like Connor was staring right into his soul. Maybe he was, because he found whatever he had been searching for and closed his eyes again. 

 

“I didn’t have the easiest childhood growing up. I won’t bore you with the details, but the quick version is daddy issues with a healthy dose of depression. I probably wouldn’t even be here today if she hadn’t found in the bathtub that night…” His voice was tight and his left hand clenched tightly at his wrist unconsciously. 

 

Dread pooled in Evan’s stomach as he grasped what Connor was trying to elude at. He was no stranger to death’s cool embrace, and seeing the usually confident man so defenseless and exposed brought tears to his eyes. He gently pulled Connor’s hand away from his wrist and held it in his. Connor shook his head and wiped a stray tear from his eye. 

 

“You probably think I’m a fucking freak now, don’t you?” He accused, but his voice lacked it’s usual venom. With a sinking heart, Evan pulled back his left shirt sleeve to reveal a long, gagged scar, the coarse tissue looking pearly in the moonlight. Connor looked at the wound, confusion lacing his sharp features. 

 

“I don’t understand…” He began. Evan took a deep breath and tried to keep his voice from shaking.

 

“I..uhm. Know the feeling…. about not fitting in, of feeling like the world wouldn’t care if I just…disappeared…” His voice shook and he avoided meeting Connor’s eyes, instead opting to hold his arm to his chest like he used to do when he had the cast on. 

 

“How’d you do it?” Connor asked. It wasn't meant as a malicious question, as his voice lacked any accusation or disgust. 

 

“I-I was an apprentice park ranger at Ellison State park my senior year of high school. I climbed the tallest tree I could find and jumped…” Evan said, repressed memories of _that day_ flooding his head and making his eyes water. He could still picture the yellow field stretched out across the land, calling him home. Evan swore he could feel the heat of the sun shining against his tear-streaked face despite the dropping temperature outside. Connor wrapped an arm around the blond as he cried into his shoulder. Evan was sure he was getting snot all over the brunet’s jacket, but he couldn't bring himself to care. It’d been years since he’d rehashed his bitter high school years, and it felt nice to have someone who wasn’t his therapist listen. 

 

“W-What about y-you.” He said in between hiccups. To his surprise, Connor didn’t tense up at the question. He simply dropped his head onto Evan’s and pulled him closer. 

 

“Well, I don’t remember everything…mostly bits and pieces. I remember fighting with my old man, and then seeing red, and then nothing at all. Not even the white light people encourage you to move toward. Just black, everywhere. Zoe found me in the bathtub, unconscious. Apparently, I cut my wrists up pretty bad. The doctors say it’s a miracle I have full mobility in both….” Evan gripped Connor’s shirt tightly in his balled fist, trying to convey all the understanding and empathy he felt for the man. 

 

“God, I’d give anything to go back and not let her be the one to find me… You know, I still see her looking at me out of the corner of her eye, like she thinks I’m going to run to the nearest kitchen knife and try again…Like, I know I have my bad days, but I've found better ways to cope with my issues than taking a knife to them… I just…” Connor choked, his hands shaking as he slammed a fist into the ground. Evan couldn't help but jump, having never seen Connor so angry. 

 

“Connor, I think you’re brave. More than you give yourself credit, for.” Evan took Connor’s wrists in his hands, tracing the myriad of scars. “And Zoe only does that because she loves you, she loves you so fucking much that she doesn’t want to lose you, again.” Tears clung to Connor’s lashes, but he refused to acknowledge them. 

 

“She helped pull me from my own fucked up mind. There’s nothing I could do to ever repay her for what she’s done.” 

 

“Stay alive, for her. Be there for her. All she wants is your love and support.” Connor tilted his head back to look at the moon. Evan followed suit, trying in vain to wipe the tears from his face. 

 

Crickets chirped happily, unaware of the heavy atmosphere surrounding the man. For once, Evan felt like his shoulders weren’t weighed down by his past actions. His heart felt strangely full as he leaned back against the rough bark, taking in the quiet night. He never expected a man like Connor Murphy to carry around such sorrow and regret, but even more surprising was how much he related to him. Evan found it strangely nice to talk about his fall and not feel like a freak or an object to be pitied. He’d never told anyone the full story before, fearing he would be loaded up with more drugs and put under constant supervision. His mother, god bless her, would have worried herself sick over him, and he couldn’t do that to her. Back in those days, she had been so stressed about her work and her classes that throwing a suicidal teen into the mix would have surely broken her. Jared wouldn’t have been mature enough to handle the gravity of the situation, and he wasn’t close enough to Alana back then to say anything.

 

But now Connor knew. 

 

Evan couldn’t find it in himself to regret it. 

 

The blond was beginning to dose off, the lull of the crickets and the sound of distant traffic putting him to sleep. He was snapped back into reality by Connor’s voice and a gentle hand on his arm.

 

“Alright, that’s enough unloading for tonight. Let’s go find my sister and stroke her ego, shall we?” He said, holding a hand out to Evan. The accountant took it eagerly and was easily pulled to his feet. Connor practically sprinted back to the stage, Evan tripping in his haste to keep up. It seemed the brunet had located an unguarded door to the backstage area. As Evan approached, Connor shushed him and signaled him to come closer. Taking a closer look, the blond could see him picking the lock with a bobby pin. Where he had gotten it, Evan couldn’t fathom. He was more focused on the fact that he was defacing private property. 

 

“What are you doing?!” He hissed, trying to tap down on his rising panic. Connor turned and gave him a razor sharp smirk.

 

“Just a trick I learned in my younger years.” He replied critically. Evan was about to scold him when he heard the definite click of the lock. His shock must have shown on his face, because Connor laughed quietly and pulled him inside. With some quick maneuvering and light feet, they grabbed the backstage passes from Zoe’s room and put them on. 

 

“There you guys are! I thought you’d gotten lost or something!” Zoe said as they neared the group. She was smiling so widely Evan feared her face would split in two. Zoe ran over to the pair and threw his arms around them. Connor chuckled and buried his face in her hair, while Evan patted her back awkwardly. 

 

“Nope, we just forgot our backstage passes.” Evan admitted, rubbing the back of his head bashfully. The blonde woman gave Connor a knowing look. 

 

“I’m not even going to ask what lock you broke to get in here.” 

 

“You have such a twisted image of me.” 

 

“Whatever, doofus.” 

 

“Piss off, shrimp.” 

 

They smiled lovingly at each other before Zoe turned to the rest of the band and began ushering them towards the bar. As Evan and Connor congratulated them, the blond caught sight of Jared and Alana. 

 

“Wait, how did you guys get back here without the passes?”

 

“Um, we’re smart and bribed the guard?” Jared replied, shrugging. Evan rolled his eyes and sighed in annoyance.

 

“You couldn’t have, I don’t know? Waited for Connor and I?” 

 

“I like to watch you struggle.” 

 

“I need a drink.” Connor said. Evan wholeheartedly agreed. 

 

* * *

 

 

The band had ended up at a dive bar near Connor’s apartment, meaning that Evan was charged with the duty of making sure the brunet made it home safely and with relatively minor injuries. Rich had been intent on drinking the brunet under the table, and Connor was never one to turn down a challenge. The result? A thoroughly intoxicated Murphy sibling hanging off a completely sober Evan Hansen. 

 

The blond was starting to regret his decision to offer to be the designated driver, as Connor was hanging off his shoulders and drunkenly babbling in his ear about some graphic design software he didn’t understand. Thankfully, he was able to get into the brunet’s apartment with minor issues. He flipped on the lights and guided Connor to his bed, where he flopped down and started snoring softly. 

 

Evan shook his head and began the tedious process of sliding off the designer’s shoes and jacket before pulling the thick duvet over his figure. Once completed, Evan searched his bathroom for some Ibuprofen and a glass of water. He had just set it on the table when Connor’s eyes fluttered open and stared at him lovingly. 

 

“Evaannn.” He slurred, trying to pull himself into a sitting position. This caused the room to spin, and he put his hands out to steady himself. Evan grabbed ahold of his arms until the brunet seemed relatively stable. 

 

“Ev, stay with me tonight.” He said, patting the bed childishly. The blond was tired and not in the mood to put up with explaining to Connor that they were coworkers who didn’t sleep together, because that’s what professionals conducted themselves. Wait. Did coworkers also unload their attempted suicide stories to each other? Evan was too tired to sort through his emotions at the moment. 

 

“No, Connor. You know why we can’t do that.” He said as gently as he could. Connor threw his head back and laughed, which surprised the blond.

 

“Not in a sexual way. Like in a, I wanna cuddle you sooo hard way.” He slurred, batting his eyelashes adorably. Evan blushed, despite himself. “You’re so cute and I find you so fucking fascinating. Seriously, this _‘coworkers only’_ thing is bullshit-”

 

“Connor, hey!” Evan tried to cut him off, but apparently Connor wasn’t done yet.

 

“I want to fuck you, definitely, but I also want to do other stuff with you, too. Like kiss you when you wake up and take you out to super expensive dinners and buy you those stupid stuffed animals with those cheesy hearts that say, _‘I’m nuts about you,’_ because it’s a squirrel and they like nuts, you know,-” 

 

“Connor, if I stay with you tonight, will you shut up and go to sleep?” 

 

“Only if I can be big spoon.” 

 

With that, Evan threw his shoes off and climbed into bed with the brunet. Connor quickly wrapped himself around him and gave Evan a gentle kiss to his neck before quickly falling back into the land of the unconscious. Evan rolled his eyes and settled in, letting sleep take him as well.

 

He dreamed of blue eyes and sunny skies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the recap, y'all!
> 
> -The gang goes to the concert, where Zoe and her band blow the metaphorically roof off the place.  
> -Evan and Connor get separated from Alana and Jared, and aren't able to get backstage due to Evan forgetting the backstage passes  
> -They take a walk through the park instead, and find themselves under a tree.  
> -Evan and Connor talk about their suicide attempts, and Connor explains why Zoe is so important to him.  
> a. Zoe helped Connor work through a lot of his problems, along with getting the medication/therapy he needed  
> -Evan starts to see a new side of Connor, and feels good about talking about his experience as well  
> -They make there way backstage because Connor picked the lock  
> -The gang goes out to the bar and Connor gets super drunk. Evan obviously is the one who gets put in charge of taking him home  
> -Conor asks him to cuddle, and Evan says yes. :) 
> 
> Alrighty, I'm ready to go to bed. Goodnight, everyone! <3


	6. The Concert: A Two Part Mini Opera (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor plans a date and Evan actually does some work for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, babes! 
> 
> Alrighty, here's a longer chapter since I won't be updating again for at least a week. I will be out of town because I will be in NYC seeing, you guessed it, Dear Evan Hansen! I'm living, dying, and resurrecting at the thought, and I can't wait to tell you guys about it. :)
> 
> Enjoy the chapter, it's pure fluff because the boys need some love before the heavy shit that's coming in the later chapters. <3

He needed to give his drunken self a firm handshake.

 

No. 

 

He needed to fuck Evan into the mattress and then give his drunken self a standing ovation. 

 

The brunet had been so delighted to find the blond in his bed again that he could almost ignore the agony his hangover was causing. He racked his brain, trying to remember how he had goaded Evan into staying the night. Bits and pieces of the evening formed a hazy caricature, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t grasp on to anything significant that had happened. 

 

Maybe rising to Rich’s drinking challenge hadn’t been the most compelling reason to down shot after shot, but Connor couldn’t bring himself to care. Even while drunk, he could be downright charming when he wanted to be, and apparently Evan agreed as well. God, he hoped his memory had saved the images of Evan writhing in pleasure beneath him, and he just couldn’t recall it at the moment. 

 

The curtains had been drawn, so the brunet was able to open his eyes without the threat of the harsh rays irritating him further. Blinking, he could see a glass of water and an unmarked pill sitting on his bedside table. He knew himself well enough to knew that he wouldn’t have planned for the morning after in his drunken state, so that meant that Evan had had the forethought to prepare for him. Chest feeling suspiciously tight, he chalked it up to another reason to keep the blond around and reached for the pill. He swallowed it dry and snuggled back into the covers. 

 

Connor couldn’t resist. He pulled Evan against his chest and began to trace lazy patterns up and down his sides. The blond sighed in contentment and rubbed his face against the downy pillows. God, he was fucking adorable. Testing the waters, Connor began placing featherlight kisses against the back of Evan’s neck and shoulders, relishing in the warmth he gave off. The blond was making the most delicious noises, little moans and sighs that were doing a good job of driving Connor mad. He would have continued his ministrations if it weren’t for the sudden blaring from a cellphone. If it was his, he was going to smash it. 

 

Evan jolted awake and sprang for his phone, quickly silencing the device. Rubbing his eyes, he let himself fall back on the bed with a groan. Connor bit his lip and placed a tentative hand on his back, rubbing out the knots he found there. 

 

“Good morning, sleeping beauty.” He whispered, not wanting to break the silence as rudely as the alarm had. The accountant hummed and leaned into Connor’s skilled fingers as he worked out the sore muscles. 

 

“….morning.” He grumbled into the pillow, not bothering to open his eyes. Humming, Connor gave his shoulder a parting squeeze and sat upright. The motion made his stomach roll uncomfortably. Once he felt alright to speak, he turned toward the blond with a soft smile.

 

“I’m not sure what I did to you last night that has you so relaxed, but I feel like I should be patting myself on the back, right now.” The statement was enough to rouse the blond from his slumbering. He quickly mimicked Connor’s position, facing him with wide eyes.

 

“Y-You don’t remember what you said l-last night?” He asked, panic lacing his voice. Connor quickly grabbed his hands before he could start worrying the hem of the dress shirt he must have slept in. 

 

“Hey, what has you so anxious? I’m sure I meant whatever I said last night.” The brunet said, squeezing Evan’s hands in his to keep them from shaking. It took a bit of coaxing, but the blond finally met his eyes. 

 

“Y-You asked me t-to stay the night,” A rosy pink blush rose on his cheeks, and Connor could make out the faint indent from where Evan had been lying on the pillow. “…and I was going to say no at first, but then you said how you wanted to take me out to dinner and buy me things and do some _o-other stuff…”_ Connor had an educated guess as to what ‘ _other stuff’_ meant, but his brain felt like it was currently short circuiting. “So I, um, figured it would be okay if I slept over. I mean, that’s what people who are dating do, and I know you hate the _‘coworkers only’_ thing as much as I do, so…” 

 

He was going to punch his drunk self in the face. 

 

No, even better. 

 

He was going to go into his expensive collection of liquor and smash every bottle against the wall.

 

Apparently his drunk self knew more about what he wanted than his current self was even aware of. Dating Evan? What happened to the bachelor life, a new man every night with no repeat showings? It was already out of character for him to be spreading so much time with one person, but to date them? He almost wanted to laugh at the ludicrously of the whole situation. He’d break this innocent man and have him running for the door before Kleinman’s project was complete, and Jared would be awfully mad if he left him without an accountant. 

 

To make matters worse, apparently he didn’t even get to see the bond naked last night. _Apparently_ , his drunken self was more interested in talking about his feelings than getting laid. Goddammit. 

 

Fuck. He needed more time to think. Time to figure out why the blond could draw him in and brush him off and have him begging for more. Connor racked his brain for the answer, but that only caused his head to ache more than the affects of the alcohol. 

 

Dating would mean throwing away everything he knew about hookup culture and trying to pick up on the final points of romance. And for what? Satisfying the twisted urge to figure out why Evan was able to get under his skin so easily? 

 

Evan was staring at him so hopefully, fuck, what was he supposed to do?

 

“You know I have to take you out on an actual date before we label it dating, right?” Connor asked weakly, releasing Evan’s hands before the blond could feel how clammy his had gotten. 

 

“I-I don’t know. Not that I know much about dating, but I thought the walk in the park last night was nice.” He responded affectionately. 

 

“Yeah, and then I told you about the time I tried to slit my wrists.” At Evan’s dejected look, Connor knew that was definitely not the right thing to bring up. He hurried to mend his blunder. “Let me take you out on a real date, cliché shit and all. How does that sound?” 

 

“Good! I mean, yes! That’d be g-great!” The blond stuttered out with a wide smile. Connor felt like Evan looked far to happy to be asked out on a date, especially considering his suitor. Damn it. Evan looked far too cute when he bit his lip. 

 

“Great. Now give me a kiss, because I apparently didn’t get any love last night.” The brunet joked, already leaning in. Evan met him halfway, just as eager despite the early hour. They kissed lazily, hands finding their way into messy hair and warm breath tickling cheeks teasingly. 

 

“Evan?” Connor breathlessly pulled away, wanting to take Evan’s lip between his teeth.

 

“Hmm?” He replied, in a similar state to the brunet. 

 

“As much as I’d like to tell Jared to suck it, you’re going to be late to work if I keep you here any longer.” The designer said, squeezing the accountant’s shoulder before releasing him. Evan’s eyelashes fluttered prettily as he turned to the clock behind him in confusion. 

 

“Oh! R-Right!” The blond was halfway out of the door before turning around and running back to Connor. He placed a parting kiss on the brunet’s lips. 

 

“I’ll text you the location. Now get going. I don’t want your tardy ass on my conscious.” Connor is pretty sure he heard Evan mumble something about Jared not noticing because he’d most likely be hung over, as well. When he heard the definite slam of the door, he let himself flop back down on his bed. 

 

He was screwed, and not even in the pleasurable way. 

 

At least his head didn’t feel like it was pounding, anymore.

 

* * *

 

Evan’s assumptions were proven correct when he walked into Jared’s office and found said man thrown over his desk. Maybe it was payback for the all sexual innuendos he had been making at the blond’s expense, but Evan slammed the door a little harder than what was appropriate. Jared groaned pitifully and covered his head with is hands. 

 

“Jared, we have to go over the financial profits for this quarter and we don’t have a lot of time, so could you just?…” Evan made some vague hand motions of trying to get his boss to sit up and actually be productive. 

 

“Evan, not even your innocent, smiling face can resurrect me from my hangover. Could you just give it to Alana and have her give you an answer.”

 

“Not…not really. That’s not her job.” Evan said, trying to think of ways to bribe the brunet. He was taken out of his musings by Jared’s complaining.

 

“It is, now. Tell her it’s because I trust her and that she’s a valuable part of the company.” He said, removing his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. Evan rolled his eyes and threw his neatly organized file on Jared’s desk.

 

“That’s what you say to the interns! She’ll know you’re just too hungover and pushing it off on her, and then she’ll be mad at me because I let you get away with it, and I can’t have Alana mad at me, she’s one of my only friends, and-”

 

“I can barely keep up sober when you talk that fast, seriously, you should take up rapping. Just, make something up. You’re good at that, right?” Jared plied, trying to ween his way out of actually working that day. The accountant stared out of Jared’s floor-to-ceiling windows, the sky a clear blue over the buildings. The moment he took to collect himself helped, because he swallowed his rising anxiety and stared the brunet down as best he could. 

 

“N-No. You and I are going to talk about the quarterly profits… please.” Okay, not the most convincing line in the sand ever drawn, but Jared look semi-impressed. 

 

“Does Connor like it when you get all dominating like this?” He asked, wiggling his eyebrows. Evan groaned and rubbed his face in exasperation. 

 

“No! Because we don’t do that! Why would you think we would do that?!” Evan exclaimed, waving his arms and trying to ignore how hot his ears felt. 

 

“So you do other things? Kinky.” 

 

“Can we please just focus on the financial profits so I can go back to my office and never talk to you, again?”

 

“Only if you call me Daddy.” 

 

Evan hoped Connor’s day was going better than his was.

 

* * *

 

“Ow! Zoe, you’re going to set my fucking apartment on fire!” 

 

“No, I’m not! You just suck at lighting candles!”

 

“I’m awesome at lighting candles, you suck at helping! This is, what? The third time you spilled wax on me?” 

 

“Only because you keep moving!” 

 

“Will you?- Hey! Don’t touch that! That’s the original print of-”

 

“Don’t care. It doesn’t go with the aesthetic of what we’re trying to do-”

 

“So help me, Zoe, if you say aesthetic one more time-”

 

“It doesn’t go with the aesthetic of what we’re trying to do!”

 

“…”

 

“Ow! Connor, stop throwing shit at me!”

 

“…fuck, the curtains are on fire.” 

 

“…this date is going to be lit, as the kids say.” 

 

“I hate you _so_ much.” 

 

* * *

 

As taxing as it was to go over financials with a hungover Jared, Evan’s silver lining was that Connor sent him a text shortly after lunch with an address and time for their date. He could feel his heart beat quicken as he typed in the address, only to be surprised that it was the address to Connor’s apartment. Maybe he was meeting the brunet there and then he would take him somewhere nice? 

 

_[Evan Hansen] 12:31 p.m._

 

_Hi, Connor! I hope you’re having a better day than I am. I was wondering what kind of clothes I should wear for tonight?_

 

_[Connor Murphy] 12:35 p.m._

 

_your most comfy pj’s._

 

Pajamas? Evan stared at his phone in bewilderment, reading the text over and over until it was burned into his brain. What did the brunet have in mind that involved him wearing his night clothes? Evan blushed, realizing his favorite pajamas consisted of an oversized shirt with his mom’s legal firm printed across the chest and a pair of worn boxers. He couldn’t wear that in front of Connor! Then Connor would realize how big of a dork he actually was and not want to date him. 

 

A week ago, Evan wouldn’t have believed he was going on a date with Zoe’s brother of all people. Now that it was actually happening though, he realized how excited he was to actually have the relationship go somewhere. Sure, he’d been worried about Connor’s promiscuous attitude, but after sharing their stories in the park and what the brunet had drunkenly told him, he felt more sure about putting himself out there. 

 

He quickly pulled up a Word document on his computer and began typing. God, he hadn’t written one of these in a long time.

 

**_Dear Evan Hansen,_ **

 

**_Today is going to be a good day, and here’s why… Today, you are going to go out on a date with Connor Murphy, and he actually seems interested in a relationship with you. It’s stupid, but you can’t help but think about what your mom said back in high school, about putting yourself out there._ **

 

**_She’d be proud of you. You’re proud of you. You’re going to have to introduce Connor to your mom if this goes really well, because she’s been waiting for you to bring someone home to her for a long time, and she’s going to ask about a wedding and when is she going to get grandkids, honestly, she’s not getting any younger and now you’re just being selfish, Evan-_ **

 

“Are you writing those weird sex letters to yourself, again?” Evan wasn’t sure how the shorter male was able to move so quickly and look over his computer screen before the blond could switch to a different page. 

 

“W-What?! No! Jared, it’s not like that-”

 

“I thought we put on end to that kink after college? Don’t tell me you’re relapsing?” 

 

Tonight couldn’t come quickly enough. 

 

* * *

 

Evan anxiously paced the empty entryway of Connor’s building at least five times before steeling himself to knock on the door. As much as he wanted to muster up an air of confidence and ease, he couldn’t quite manage it due to his stomach curling into tighter knots by the second. Maybe he could call Connor and reschedule? 

 

With trembling hands, he knocked timidly on the door and waited for the footsteps to follow. The door opened, revealing a smiling Connor clad in a band tee and flannel pajama pants. He greeted the blond and stepped aside, allowing Evan to walk in. 

 

The hallway was dimly lit, a trail of candles the only source of light in the apartment. Evan blinked, trying to let his eyes adjust. God forbid he trip over a table on his first real date in years. It wouldn’t have matter anyway, as Connor pleased an easy hand on the small of his back and led him through his pristine kitchen. He stopped at his marble island, which hosted a small variety of wine.

 

“What’s your poison?” Connor asked as he leaned a narrow hip against the countertop. Evan let his eyes wander over the selection before turning to the brunet with an afflicted gaze.

 

“O-Oh, I really shouldn’t…” He said, putting his hands up wearily. Connor stared at him for a moment before his face lit up.

 

“I think I have something else you might like, instead.” With that, he turned toward his fridge and retrieved a pitcher of pink liquid. At Evan’s questioning look, Connor turned a bit pink himself and ran a hand through his hair. “It’s raspberry lemonade. Zoe and I used to make it all the time when we were younger. The brat was over here today and made some before she lit my living room curtains on fire.” 

 

“She what?” Evan exclaimed, trying to decide if laughing would be inappropriate. In the end, he couldn’t stifle his giggles well enough. Connor didn’t seem to mind, if his lips turning up at the corners were any indication. “It’s better if you don’t think about it, right now. Kind of kills the vibe I’m going for, here.” Evan nodded and inspected the lightly fizzy drink. Taking a tentative sip, Evan couldn’t help the little moan that escaped. 

 

“It’s good, right?” Connor asked fondly, forgoing the wine on the table for a glass of lemonade, as well. 

 

“Definitely!” Evan replied, tracing the rim of his glass lightly. He glanced up when Connor grabbed his hand and led him to his living room. 

 

As hard as he tried, Evan couldn’t repress the surprised sound that left his mouth. Connor had turned his entire living room into a pillow fort that any Pinterest user would salivate over. Christmas lights were precariously strung up, the soft, gold hues illuminating the space. Crisp sheets were tediously tied together to create a tent in the middle of the room, a soft mattress and pillows cradled underneath. Even from where Evan was standing, he could see the inside was stocked full of junk food and candy. Several DVDs had been scattered on the floor, most likely waiting for the blond to pick one. He turned back to the slightly nervous looking brunet.

 

“I know you don’t like big crowds, if the concert was anything to go by, and I figured you’ve been to enough restaurants because of your work that a date to one would be pretty fucking lame, so I thought, hey! Why not a movie night with all the junk food you can eat.” Evan was staring at him blankly. Connor quickly tried to rectify the situation. “If you don’t like it, we can change and I’ll take you out to eat somewhere-” He explained as he nervously played with his hair. Evan couldn’t help it, he wrapped his arms around Connor’s neck.

 

“N-No! Thank you, I mean. This is perfect.” Evan said sincerely, his azure eyes shining with tears. Connor couldn’t help the butterflies in his stomach at the blond’s smile. He took Evan by the hand and led him over to the mattress. The brunet splayed out on the pillow, and the accountant couldn’t help but notice the way Connor’s hair framed his face like a halo. 

 

“Alright, Hansen. Since I’m the one doing the wooing, you get to pick the movie. Don’t let me down.” Evan quickly scanned the DVDs littering the floor before grabbing one at random. He handed it to Connor, who briefly scanned the title before shrugging and placing it in the DVD player. The _‘Groundhog Day’_ title screen popped up and Connor quickly hit play before turning the sound on low. Turning, the brunet reached behind the mattress and pulled out a mason jar filled with folded slips of paper.

 

“Considering the only things I really know about you at the moment are that you work for Jared as an accountant and that you like to make weird tree puns, I figured we could draw pieces of paper from the jar and answer the questions written on them. And if you think that’s a stupid idea, you can sit here and watch the movie and I’ll go send Zoe a passive aggressive text for suggesting it.” Evan giggled and commandeered the jar from Connor’s hold. 

 

“I’d be careful, she might light some more of your stuff on fire.” He joked, biting his lip. Connor laughed and waved a hand in Evan’s general direction. 

 

“I have insurance. Pick a question, you dork.” Evan rolled his eyes playfully before reaching in and retrieving a question. He carefully unfolded it and let his eyes scan over the neatly written sentence. 

 

“If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?” Evan recited, raising an eyebrow slightly. Connor turned toward him and leaned up on his elbows. “I’d have to say my mom’s tacos. We used to have Taco Tuesdays sometimes when she wasn’t busy working or taking night classes.” Evan smiled fondly and played with the little slip of paper in his hands. The brunet hummed and moved the mason jar closer. 

 

“Are you close with your mom?” He asked. Evan nodded and stared at a spot above Connor’s shoulder.

 

“Yeah. After my dad left, it was just me and her. She’s honestly the best mom in the world. I’ll fight you on it.” The blond said jokingly. Connor shook his head with a smile and pulled a slip from the jar.

 

“Do you believe in ghosts?” Connor reread the slip just to make sure he had read it correctly. Evan laughed and leaned over to reaffirm that that’s what the paper said. “This is the last time I ask Zoe for help….” He mumbled, but decided to answer it anyways.

 

“Sure, I believe in ghosts. I think there are some things you have to conquer, even after death. Some people just don’t get around to doing it in their life, and they need the extra time to do whatever it is they need to do before they can pass on… Or maybe we all go into the ground, and that’s that.” 

 

“Huh.” Evan nodded along, preferring to not have to think about what he would do if a ghost was haunting his apartment. He’d most likely run screaming from his home and have to move in with Jared. 

 

“Zoe thought our childhood house was haunted at one point because her black nail polish kept disappearing.”

 

“Was it?” The accountant asked, leaning forward with interest. Connor laughed and bit his lip.

 

“No, but I gave her a lot of shit for it. I think I ended up with four bottles of polish before she realized it was me.” The brunet laughed and Evan lightly punched him in the arm. 

 

“Connor, I can’t believe you let her believe it was haunted for who knows how long.” The blond mildly scolded as he scooted closer to the designer. 

 

“Yeah, after the two month mark I started to feel kind of bad.” He flippantly replied as he picked at a nail. Evan seized the jar with a pseudo offended groan.

 

“I’m going to answer another question before you can tell me more stories about how you messed with my best friend.” 

 

“Hey, it’s not my fault she’s gullible as hell.” Evan couldn’t argue with that.

 

“What’s the strangest punishment your parents ever gave you?” He read before he turned his eyes skyward, hoping a memory would come to him. What? He was a good kid who didn’t do drugs or hang out at parties till the wee hours of the morning. Grounding was pretty pointless, as he rarely left his house, anyways. Maybe he could say something about how Jared wasn’t allowed to come over for a week after he had eaten all of Heidi’s leftovers?

 

“Did your mom threaten to take all the plants in your room away if you were bad?” Connor said before breaking into a fit of giggles. 

 

“You think you’re really funny, don’t you?” Evan exclaimed, pshoving at the brunet’s shoulders. 

 

“I don’t think, _I know_.” He replied as he pulled the blond on top of him and planted soft kisses on his cheeks. Even giggled at the featherlight kisses and returned them ten fold. Their question game continued on for a while, including simple questions such as, “What would your superpower be?” all the way up to the more ridiculous, “What is one of the weirdest things you used to do as a teenager?” and, “Were Ross and Rachel on a break?” 

 

Every time Evan would answer a question, Connor would reward him with a kiss. Evan would smile and blush and try to shove the jar back into his hand to distract him, and Connor would only try harder to get him to turn that pretty shade of pink. As far as first dates went, Connor had to give himself a pat on the back. For not having much experience with dating, he thought Evan had enjoyed himself, but there was one important question that needed to be answered. 

 

“There’s one question left.” Connor said, taking the empty mason jar from Evan. He reached behind him and grabbed a slip of paper from under his pillow and placed it in the jar before Evan could see him do it. He took it out again and pretended to read it off, even though he knew exactly what it said.

 

“Would you like to go out again next week?” Evan looked shocked but mostly excited at the proposition of another date.

 

“Y-Yes! That’d be great, I mean, only if you want to, that is, I don’t want to pressure you into something you don’t want to do, or anything-” Connor laughed and silenced his ramblings with a heated kiss. 

 

“I definitely want to.” 

 

Evan was especially eager to kiss the brunet after that, not that he didn’t always want to kiss Connor all the time. The designer couldn’t remember a time when he had made out with another person so excessively since his college years. He found he didn’t mind it, though, as Evan’s plush lips and longing moans had him yearning for more. 

 

Though the thought of continuing to court Evan had his stomach twisting nervously, he pushed that aside to deal with at a later date. Right now, he had an adorable man on his lap who was eager to please and willing to take everything the brunet gave him. 

 

For now, Connor decided to let it be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Connor bb, stop before you hurt yourself and admit you love Ev, already
> 
> Well, that's all I have for you guys. I love you and appreciate all the kind comments you leave, you are the best :)


	7. Evan In The Bathroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor helps Evan gain some confidence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooo!! I'm back from NY and I have some smut for you. ;P

“…we reported unit and revenue growth in all our product categories in the June quarter, driving 18 percent growth in earnings per share. We also returned $10.9 billion to investors during this period, which brings cumulative capital returns under our program to almost $233 billion. We are in a good position to begin mass production of the new Kleinman technology line.” 

 

Evan finished, looking at his pale reflection in the mirror. He had been hiding out in his personal bathroom for about thirty minutes, trying to pep himself up for the financial meeting he would be holding within the hour. At this point, his small speech was ingrained into his brain, but this knowledge couldn’t stop him from chewing on his lip until it bled. As much as he loved his job, having to report their earnings to the board members was his own personal circle of hell. 

 

Jared was personable and charismatic, why couldn’t be be the one to stand in front of the room of people and give the financial report? All Evan would have to do was promise that Jared would own his soul for the next however long. That wouldn’t be too terrible, right? The blond couldn’t distinguish between what was worse. Public speaking or being Jared’s intern. Before he could pace the small bathroom for what felt like the hundredth time, a voice called from outside the door.

 

“Hey, Ev? You in here?” The accountant opened the door to his (maybe?) boyfriend. Connor’s hair was neatly pulled back into a bun, and he looked positively charming in his sleek black suit and red tie. 

 

“I-In h-h-here.” He stuttered as he quickly shoved his shaking hands in his pockets. The brunet immediately picked up on the fact that Evan was practically vibrating out of his skin and quickly wrapped him in an embrace. 

 

“What’s got you so rattled? Do I need to punch someone?” He asked, only slightly kidding. Evan burrowed his face into Connor’s neck and shook his head. 

 

“N-No. Just… g-gotta give a financial report f-for the board…” He mumbled. Connor had to strain his ears to hear what Evan had said. As the brunet was racking his brain for some little tip or trick about public speaking, and idea struck him like lightning. 

 

“How long do you have until the meeting?” He questioned, pushing Evan away until he could stare down into his eyes. The blond looked slightly irritated at having been removed from Connor’s warmth, but mostly intrigued by the designer’s excitement. 

 

“About a half hour. W-Why?” Connor internally preened. That was more than enough time to turn the accountant into a confident public speaker. 

 

“You’re too high-strung, and I’ve made it my personal job to fix that.” Evan was just about to rebuttal Connor’s statement when a pair of thin lips came crashing down on his. He gasped into the brunet’s mouth, trying to push the man back. 

 

“W-What the h-hell are you doing?! C-Connor, this is serious!” 

 

“I’m being serious. Just… trust me, okay?” The brunet asked honestly, his blue eyes hiding nothing but genuine concern and longing. Evan couldn’t turn away.

 

“I…I do.” Evan answered, trying to pick up on what was going through Connor’s head.

 

“Than trust me when I say, this will help.” He waited for the blond to answer, not wanting to push him further. He watched as Evan internally debated with himself, but finally came to a silent agreement. He gave a barely visible nod, which was enough for the brunet. He tilted his head and gently kissed the blond this time. Evan sighed and leaned into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Connor’s shoulders and squeezing. 

 

The brunet placed his capable hands around Evan’s lithe waist and maneuvered him over to the sink, the cool porcelain making the blond gasp. He let his hands wander lazily up Evan’s chest and down his back. With dexterous movements, he rubbed tiny circles around Evan’s nipples. The accountant was helpless to the movements, pressing his chest closer to the brunet with mewling whimpers. 

 

“I’m going to make you feel so good, baby.” Connor whispered, mouthing up the blond’s neck. He thought he heard him say _‘please,’_ but that was probably his wishful thinking. His large hands massaged Evan’s stiff shoulders, and when he felt the tension dissipate, he moved on to his shoulder blades and spine. In the span of five minutes, Connor had Evan moaning into his collarbone, hands feebly gripping the brunet’s biceps. It turned out that all Evan needed was a good massage to turn him into a whining, rapturous mess. 

 

Connor kneaded the muscles of Evan’s lower back as the blond pushed into his strong hands. Even his breathy exclamations of the brunet’s name weren’t enough to distract Connor from his task. He let his hands wander over Evan’s sharp hips before unbuckling his belt and deftly unbuttoning his pants. With quick fingers, he released Evan from his black boxers and stroked him firmly. 

 

“C-Connor!” The blond about screamed, but was quickly silenced by a pair of lips meeting his. 

 

“Shh. We wouldn’t want anyone walking in and seeing what the head accountant does when he isn’t writing financial reports, would we?” Connor teased, giving the head of Evan’s cock a quick twist. Evan bit his lip and tried to ignore how much precome he was leaking. The hand that wasn’t occupied with stroking his cock was now back to playing with Evan’s nipples, the hard peaks an eager distraction. 

 

“L-Lock the d-door, then!” Evan stuttered, looking toward the door with glassy eyes. The designer’s resulting chuckle shocked him back to reality. 

 

“Where’s the fun in that?” He replied, his thumb grazing the thick vein of Evan’s length. His eyes went wide and he tried to push Connor away. 

 

“Connor!-” Before he could protest the situation any further, the brunet had him by the hips and was guiding him toward the wall. Evan felt his head spin as Connor spun him to face the wall, hungry hands pulling his pants around his ankles. His underwear was dealt the same treatment, and Evan felt cool air on his bare ass. Shivering slightly, he looked back at Connor with pleading eyes. Warm blues stared back, and Evan couldn’t find it in himself to complain. 

 

Connor's hands felt hot on his naked skin, bolding squeezing and parting his cheeks. Evan spread his legs as far as he could, the clothing around his ankles restricting his movements. A gentle finger circled his hole before pushing in slightly. Evan rested his head on his hands to keep his thoughts from swimming too much. His cock was weeping, but he couldn’t bring himself to touch it, fearing the moment would be ended too soon. He was shocked from his musings when a wet, probing muscle licked a strip over his left cheek. Evan turned around just in time to see Connor lick experimentally at his exposed hole before diving all the way in. 

 

He couldn’t help himself. Evan cried out, his cock jumping at the stimulation. Connor immediately pulled back, looking up at the blond mischievously. Evan knew he looked like a mess, face flushed and clothing skewed from the brunet’s touching. 

 

“What did we say about noise?” He teased, lips forming into a playful smirk. Evan was getting impatient. He was grateful to the brunet for finding a way to take his mind off of having to public speak, but if he was going to get him off, he had better do it soon, or else Evan feared he might explode from lack of orgasm. 

 

“Connor, for the love of God, don’t stop!” Connor looked just as shocked as Evan. Apparently, Evan could be demanding when he wanted to be. All it took was a lot of sexual frustration and a handsome man on his knees for the blond. 

 

Not having to be told twice, Connor quickly went back to eating out the blond, his skilled tongue causing Evan’s knees to shake. He circled at the blond’s hole, lapping at Evan’s sensitive nerves and fingering him open. The blond brought a hand to his mouth, biting down hard to keep any solicit sounds from escaping. 

 

It was getting to be too much for Evan. Connor’s tongue was hot and wet and perfect on him, and the way he was expertly working him open was driving him mad. He blushed hotly when Connor brushed over his prostate, as the resulting sound he made sounded like it belonged in a pornographic movie. The brunet didn’t seem to mind, though. The sounds Evan made were doing a good job of making the front of his work pants uncomfortably tight, and it took everything in him not to jerk himself off in the open stall. 

 

“C-Con. I’m s-so c-close…” Evan begged, trying to move away from the probing tongue. Connor gave Evan’s hole a parting lick before standing and taking a condom from his wallet. Once he was ready, he spit into his hand and rubbed himself before lining up with Evan’s abused hole. 

 

With one hand on Evan’s hip and the other on his straining shaft, he pushed in. Connor felt his eyes close in ecstasy. The blond was hot and wet and clenching around him so beautifully. He could feel Evan shake as he bottomed out, and he wrapped his arms around the blond’s waist to keep him from sinking to the floor. 

 

“So good, baby… so good for me.” He murmured into Evan’s ear as he tried to let Evan adjust around his considerable length. The accountant could only whimper weakly, his vocabulary reduced to strained sounds and breathy whines. Connor gave an experimental thrust, causing Evan to yelp and brace his shaking hands against the wall. The brunet began a slow rhythm, rubbing Evan’s waist with every cant of his hips. Evan soon returned the movements, pushing back and biting his lip to keep from moaning. 

 

Connor groaned when Evan clenched hotly around him, his cock growing harder as he picked up the pace. The brunet braced himself as he began to slam into the blond, holding onto his hips for dear life. His balls slapped against Evan’s backside and the blond moaned in pleasure, his breathing beginning to become erratic. This wasn’t good enough for Connor, though. With every thrust, he adjusted his angle slightly, looking for something. He was just about to give up hope when Evan through his head back and screamed. Bingo. 

 

“Right there!” He yelled, sweat dotting his forehead. Connor used what was left of his strength and began pummeling into the blond, aiming for his sweet spot every time. Evan could feel tears prick the corners of his eyes as he saw stars. 

 

“Connor!” He moaned as he came all over the black tiled wall. The brunet followed shortly after, but Evan couldn’t be sure. In that moment, all he knew was that he felt like he was floating in the clouds, the speech he had to give in a few minutes nothing but a distant memory. 

 

He moaned quietly as Connor pulled out and made quick work of cleaning them up. He even helped Evan pull his pants up and button them. The blond’s hands shook as he tried to buckle his belt, to which the brunet chuckled. He took Evan’s hand and led him to the mirror. The blond blinked at his reflection. 

 

His cheeks were stained red and his hair was disheveled, but Connor had done a good job of rearranging his clothes so they didn’t look too wrinkled. The designer pawed at his hair slightly to try and fix the mess. It wasn’t great, but at least he didn’t look like he had just been fucked within an inch of his life, so Evan counted his blessings. The more the blond stared, the more he began to notice.

 

The tension between he shoulders was gone, and he didn’t hunch his back the way he usually did. He wasn’t pinching his suit between his fingers, and his eyes look confident. Evan turned to Connor with shiny eyes. The brunet only smiled and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. He looked _proud._ Evan quickly turned away, not used to someone staring at him with such hope and happiness. 

 

“Do you think you can give that finical report to all those old, arrogant assholes, now?” Connor asked, eyes alive with mischief. Evan nodded, readjusting his tie in the mirror. 

 

“Definitely.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed it.
> 
> So while in NY I was lucky enough to see DEH. Ben, Laura, and Rachel were gone tho, so that was kind of a bummer. We always have the bootleg, so whatevs. Michael Lee Brown, Olivia Puckett, and Garret Long where AMAZING tho! Mike Faist and Will Roland were just so damn good, and Kristolyn is a queen I just want to be her best friend. 
> 
> I'm just saying, Michael Park, tho. I really like Larry as a character because of him. I used to think Larry was an asshole and that was that, but guys. Park does such a good job of making Larry a three dimensional character. I think he does love Connor, he just didn't really know how to help him. For him, being stern and doing things the 'right way,' was the only way Connor would get better in his mind. If I can make it fit into the story, I'd love to add some Larry and Cynthia. Heidi's coming, too, btw. :D
> 
> If anyone else has seen DEH, I'd love to fangirl with you ;P 
> 
> That's all I've got, love you all! <3


	8. Can Board Dinners Be Considered A Date Night?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared finds a way to amuse himself at the Board Dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, look. Something that will actually advance the plot and get some character development. ;P

The hairs on the back of Evan’s neck stood up uncomfortably. He could sense several people eyeing him, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care like he usually did. The accountant had just rocked his financial report speech, he was allowed to feel something other than anxious for once. He was pouring himself a congratulatory cup of coffee when a hand landed on his shoulder and spun him around. The hot liquid dripped painfully down his arm, and he bit his lip to keep from exclaiming anything explicit. 

 

“Ow! Hey-” 

 

“What was that?!” Jared exclaimed, shaking Evan’s shoulders with a bit too much force. The blond shook the brunet’s grip off and dabbed at the scalding coffee. 

 

“That was the financial report, Jared.” He responded flippantly, inspecting his hand for any third degree burns. Evan didn’t have to look up to know that Jared was rolling his eyes at him. 

 

“Not what I meant, smartass. I mean you giving a speech like a normal human being. We could actually hear you in the back! Are you on drugs?” Evan grumbled at the drugs comment. He jokingly told Jared not to do drugs one time, and the brunet still hasn’t let him live it down. 

 

“No, I’m not on drugs, I’m just- you know what, Jared, it doesn’t really matter, all that matters is that the meeting went well and the board members are happy-” By the way his sentence was deconstructing, Evan’s new found confidence was going to be short lived if Jared had anything to do with it. His anxiety was starting to set back in, a cloying presence at the back of his mind just waiting to pounce. 

 

“Don’t get me wrong, happy board members make for a happy Jared, but I’m just curious as to how you got through your speech with only-” Jared reached into his designer coat pocket and produced a folded paper. “-four _‘um, so’s,’_ five stutters, and two _‘you know’s.’”_

 

Evan grabbed the piece of paper from Jared and inspected the chicken scratch of a checklist. The accountant placed it on the coffee bar and turned irritated eyes on his boss. “I’m starting to understand what Alana must feel like on a daily basis. Did you pay attention to anything I said, besides counting how many times I screwed up in front of the board?” He pinched at the bridge of his nose, trying to stave off the growing headache. He made a mental note to look into the budget and give Alana a raise. 

 

Jared shrugged and made a reach for his tally sheet. “Only the crucial stuff. Alana is more for, _everything else._ Right, Alana?” He yelled as the vice president approached, Zoe not far behind. 

 

“I don’t want to agree or disagree to anything you’ve told Evan before hearing it for myself.” She responded professionally, pushing her fashionable glasses into the proper place. Evan smiled and handed Alana the cup of coffee in his hand and went to pour another one, which was quickly snatched by Zoe. She kissed him fondly on the cheek, so he couldn’t complain too much. Evan couldn’t say the same when Jared stole his coffee and repeated the kissing motion, though. 

 

“J-Jared! Common, that’s so weird!” He squeaked, wiping his cheek vigorously. The brunet laughed and hit Evan in the shoulder. 

 

“What, is your boyfriend gonna come after me and punt me out of a window for giving you a little kiss? Tell him I have five body guards who I pay very handsomely to act as meat shields.” Jared crowed as he took a sip of Evan’s coffee. “Ow! Burned my tongue, I blame you, Evan-” 

 

“He’s not my b-boyfriend!” Evan raised his hands, trying to wave off any assumptions his friends were making. “I-I’m not really sure what we are.” He mumbled, thumbing at the lid of his cup. Zoe placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and turned her attention toward the still frenzied Jared. 

 

“I’d be careful what you do from now on, Jar-Bear. Connor threw a printer at a teacher in second grade with _no_ remorse… Hm, there sure are a lot of printers in an office building, don’t you think, ‘Lana?”  The blonde goaded, giving Alana a sultry wink. 

 

“One-hundred and twenty eight, to be exact.” The woman responded, flicking a stand of hair behind her ear. 

 

“What’s wrong, Jared? You look a little white.” Zoe asked with faux concern.

 

“I meant to remind you, you have a meeting with Connor today at one. I could see if he’s willing to move the appointment up, if you’re looking to test your body guard theory.” Alana said in an uncharacteristically devious manner. Jared shoved his coffee cup into Evan’s hand, causing the blond to almost drop his in the process. 

 

“Stay back, you demon harpy ladies!” Jared screeched, making the sign of the cross with his right hand. Pacing backwards, he gave the group a disapproving stare. “When you guys decide to stop being assholes, we should get lunch, I’m starving.” Zoe and Alana gave each other  self satisfied looks and high fived. 

 

“I like knowing I’m still able to put the fear of God in you.” The dark-skinned woman said as she went to follow the brunet. Jared grumbled but couldn’t seem to find a snappy comeback that wouldn’t get him into more trouble. Zoe smiled and grabbed Evan’s hand.

 

“Let’s go, maybe we can get Jared to put lunch on the company card.” Evan started after the blonde, but a stab of pain ran up his spine. He whimpered slightly and tried to play off the fact that he was walking with a slight limp. This odd spectacle caught Jared’s attention. The blond watched as the CEO’s face lit up with mischief as he put the pieces together. Oh, God help him. 

 

“Oh, so the secret to public speaking isn’t drugs or confidence, it’s really good dick. Right, Evan?” Jared smiled like the cheshire cat, all teeth and shining eyes. Evan felt his face go red, his feet frozen to the floor. 

 

“N-No!! I-It’s not l-like t-that! I-I-I pulled a muscle w-while working out!” Jared howled with laughter. 

 

“You don’t work out!” He yelled, throwing his head back and laughing. Evan felt tears prick the corners of his eyes. Great, now Zoe was going to think he was disgusting for having more sexual relations with her brother, and she wouldn't talk to him anymore and he’d be left with only Alana and Jared as his friends, and Alana liked Zoe so she’d probably stop talking to him too, and then he’d be left with Jared, who would never let this go, and he wasn’t sure what he and Connor were and if he’d want to stick around after knowing Zoe didn’t like him anymore-

 

“Earth to Evan, you’re going a little green there, champ.” Jared said, snapping his fingers in front of Evan’s face. “I’m just kidding, we all could use some good dick in our lives, right ladies? Well, maybe not in your lives, considering you two are hooking up-”

 

“Okay, that’s enough of that for one day. You’re definitely putting lunch on the company card, I hope you know that.” Zoe said as she practically shoved Jared down the hall. The brunet complained and tried to justify his point, but the blonde wasn’t having it. She pushed him into the first available elevator and hit the down arrow. Alana grabbed Evan by the arm and shoved him into the elevator as well.

 

“Evan, you have about twenty floors to talk some sense into him. Good luck.” Alana instructed as the doors closed. Evan’s distressed stare was the last thing she saw before she was met with her own chocolate brown eyes staring back at her in the shiny elevator door. Zoe appeared over her shoulder, a vision in her pastel skirt and black cardigan. Lacing her fingers through Alana’s, Zoe met her eyes in the reflection. The blonde’s eyes looked sad, and the VP couldn’t help but give her hand a reassuring squeeze. 

 

“I worry about them, you know?” She mumbled, sounding much too old to be only twenty-five. Alana nodded in understanding. 

 

“I know Jared likes to give Evan a hard time, but…” She stared up at the ceiling, trying to find the right words. “Jared cares about Evan. I know he’d never admit it, but he does.” 

 

“I know.” Zoe replied, scuffing her tan wedge against the tile. “I just… I think Evan and Connor could be really good for each other, and I don’t want Jared or anyone thinking they can come in and-” The blonde turned to face the other woman, searching for reassurance in her dark eyes. Alana smiled and gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek. 

 

“It’s their relationship, Zo. You can’t control how other people are going to react to it. Just… Have faith in Connor and Evan to have enough sense not to listen to everyone else.” Zoe couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face.

 

“How are you so smart?” She joked, leaning her forehead against Alana’s. The woman chuckled and kissed Zoe’s mouth quickly. 

 

“We should probably get down there before Jared makes more of a nuisance of himself.” Alana sighed and pressed the elevator button. 

 

If the ladies stepped out of the elevator four minutes later looking a little less than professional, then they hoped that no one was a looking too closely. 

 

* * *

 

Jared pushed Alana’s neatly organized planner away with disgust. The vice president calmly collected the book and placed it in her bag, all too used to the CEO’s antics. 

 

“Alana Beck, I think it’s time you took over as CEO.” He said, stabbing a piece of his salad forcefully.

 

“I’m not going to take over the company just so you can avoid the board dinner. That’s highly improbable, anyways.” She said as she daintily picked at her sandwich. 

 

“I’ll do it!” Zoe exclaimed, looking more excited than she should at the prospect of running a billion dollar company. Jared cackled and wagged a finger at the blonde.

 

“Good joke!” He said, wiping a faux tear from his eye. Zoe looked offset at the comment but didn’t rise to the brunet’s bating. 

 

Evan picked at his food, too lost in thought to give heed to what his friends were discussing. He and Jared were able to find a compromise in the elevator. The brunet would stop making innuendos about his and Connor’s relationship if Evan promised to keep him in the loop about whether or not the designer _‘treating him right,’_ whatever that meant. It warmed Evan’s heart to know that they had moved on from family friends to just straight up _friends._ The blond found himself smiling slightly. Sure, Jared could be an entitled asshole when it suited him, but he always had Evan’s back when he needed to. Evan was brought out of his musings by Jared’s sudden outburst.

 

“Oh, my God! Alana and Evan, you already have to attend this stupid thing, right?” At their confused nodding, Jared’s smile grew. “Bring Connor and Zoe as dates! You guys get something pretty to look at, you tell some amusing stories about your relationships, and I won’t have to make small talk with Mr. Killinger about his rare bat dog thing he acquired from the ass crack of Australia!” Jared was smiling so widely, Evan almost didn’t want to rebut the brunet on why it was a bad idea. Zoe had the same thought, apparently. 

 

“I’m not dating Alana.” She said all too quickly, avoiding Alana’s sad but knowing eyes. 

 

“Could’ve fooled me, shrimp.” Connor came out of nowhere, messing with Zoe’s hair affectionately. Zoe grumbled good-naturedly.

 

“Asshole. You’d have a field day if I touched your hair.” Connor nodded in agreement.

 

“Damn right I would.” He located a vacated chair and dragged it up next to Evan’s. He gave the blond’s thigh a subtle squeeze before busying himself with picking at his leftovers. Evan pushed the plate closer to the brunet. He didn’t miss the way Jared gave him a thumbs up. 

 

“Connor, how would you feel if I contractually made you responsible in attending a board dinner?” Jared asked, fingers steepled in front of him.

 

“I’d call my attorney, why?” Connor replied as he shoved the remainder of Evan’s sandwich in his mouth. The CEO tapped his fingers against the table in thought. Shrugging, he rehashed his idea to the brunet. Connor, for his part, only raised a partially interested eyebrow. 

 

“So, what you’re telling me is that you want us to be your little accessories for tonight?” He spoke slowly, as if trying to wrap his mind around the concept. 

 

“Well, I wouldn’t say accessories, per se. I was thinking more like groupies.” Jared gave the same showman like smile he reserved for stage performances. Evan turned his head to whisper into Connor’s ear.

 

“Please come. It’s already awkward enough having to make small talk with the board members while we wait for the food to be served, and it can’t be the worst date you’ve ever been on, I hope?” Evan pleaded, hoping Connor would have mercy and agree to come with him.

 

“I wouldn’t really put a board dinner in the _‘date’_ category, but if it makes my boyfriend happy…” Connor trailed off as his eyes went wide. _Shit._ He had just dropped the _‘b’_ word without having discussed it previously with Evan. Wait. _Fuck._ When did he start referring to Evan as his boyfriend?! 

 

Evan looked back at him with his with large, watery eyes. Connor gulped. This is why he should have just stuck with his old routine of frivolous hookups. His one-night-stands never looked at him with pretty blue eyes before telling him he wasn’t what they were looking for and _rejecting him._ The brunet braced himself.

 

“M-My b-boyfriend?” Evan stuttered in shock.

 

“Uh, yes?” Connor answered, not quite sure how to respond.

 

“S-So you’d want me to be your b-boyfriend?” The blond asked, pinching his suit jacket between his slightly shaking fingers. 

 

“Uh, yes?” Connor repeated.

 

“And you’d be my b-boyfriend?” Evan clarified, his mind not quite connecting what Connor was suggesting. 

 

“Uh, mhm.” The brunet nodded, running a hand through his hair.

 

Here it comes. Evan would find a way to tell Connor he was a good fuck but not someone who was actually worth getting to know. 

 

“G-great. No, that’s r-really great.” Evan said, his smile betraying how quietly he had spoken. Connor matched the grin, equally as surprised and pleased.

 

“Great.” 

 

“I have never had more secondhand embarrassment than I do, right now.” Jared cut in, bringing the moment to a close. Evan rolled his eyes, but not before giving Connor a chaste kiss on the cheek. Connor was about to make a dive for Evan’s mouth when the hand on his chest stopped him. Oh, he’d celebrate their new relationship later, whether Evan wanted it to be public or not. 

Preferably in private was the most appealing, though. All the sounds Evan would make just for him. _Stay focused_. He turned his attention to Zoe, who was staring at them with the equivalent of utmost affection. 

 

“So, you guys in or what?” She asked, lazily batting her lashes. Connor chuckled and leaned back in his chair.

 

“I guess if my boyfriend’s going, I’m going.” He purposefully ignored the cracking whip sound Jared made. 

 

“If my loser brother is going, count me in.” She said, staring at Alana. 

 

“Uh, one more thing.” Jared said, raising a tentative hand. “The board members are a bit old fashioned. They aren’t as open to same sex relationships as us millennials are. I was thinking that Zoe would go with Evan and Alana would go with Connor.” He trailed off, looking offended on their behalf. 

 

“I’ve had to deal with assholes judging my sexuality all my life, and now I have to jump back in the closet because it might offend their delicate sensibilities-” Alana’s touch was enough to bring Zoe’s anger down a notch, but only slightly.

 

“I know, I dislike it as much as you do, but we have to play nice if we want to keep this company running.” This was one of the rare moments Evan had seen Jared not fire back a witty joke about a regrettable situation. It was in times like these where the blond could see how the brunet was able to raise an empire from the ground up. Zoe seemed to see the same, because she reluctantly agreed.

 

“Well, I guess I’ve had shittier dates. As far as guys go, Evan’s pretty adorable. I’d take him home to mom, wouldn’t you, Connor?” Zoe asked, trying to diffuse the tension. 

 

“Mom would try and shove vegan casserole down his throat and then wonder why he ran out the door before she could ask about a marriage proposal.” Connor replied with a knowing wink. Zoe laughed.

 

“But not before Dad tested Evan’s manhood by seeing how well he knew how to break in a baseball glove.” Connor threw his head back in laughter. Evan laughed quietly as he filed the information away for later. What? He never knew when he’d need that information, and better safe than sorry. 

 

“Alright, so it’s all settled? You have your dates, I have my entertainment, and the board is none the wiser that I skipped the last dinner to go golfing with some hot Brazilian models.” A chorus of groans met Jared’s statement.

 

“Great, see you tonight! And remember, you need a juicy backstory about how you met.” 

 

“Alana, that’s all you.” Connor said as he stood up to find wherever Evan had gotten his sandwich from. 

 

What? It was a damn good sandwich.

 

* * *

 

“…and then I said, _‘Shirley, why are you looking for a new maid, that’s what you have Bill for!’”_ The older woman said.

 

Evan had already forgotten her name. She was the wife of one of the board members, Mr. Clarke. She was met with the boisterous laughs of the attending party, all of whom were seated at the expensive restaurant Alana had booked. 

 

Now that the finances had been discussed and taken care of, the party had moved on to small talk about their lives and their successes. Evan had kept mostly to himself, only piping in to clarify a financial point or two earlier in the evening. Jared, for his part, was doing a marvelous job of wooing the wives and entertaining the husbands. The blond looked around, but couldn’t find a person under fifty besides himself, Zoe, Alana, Connor, and Jared. He turned toward Zoe, only to find her barely concealing a grimace. 

 

“Maybe this isn’t my kind of humor.” She whispered into Evan’s ear. He giggled and affirmed her suspicion. The blonde was dressed in a form fitting royal blue dress, which made her eyes pop delightfully. Evan matched her in a grey suit and royal blue tie. He had to admit, he didn’t look half bad, and Connor seemed to agree, if his hungry eyes were anything to go by. The brunet sat across from the couple, matching Alana in her designer pants suit. The blond bit his lip. They looked good together, and he could see why Zoe was attracted to the VP. 

 

“So, Mr. Hansen. Why don’t you tell us about how you met your lovely date.” One of the wives asked, causing the table to turn their attentions on the slightly blushing blond. Evan thanked his lucky stars that he and Zoe had come up with a backstory before the dinner party. He could feel Zoe’s hand interlink with his as she smiled adoringly up at him. Wow, she was a better actress than Evan gave her credit for. 

 

“Oh, uhm. Jared and I went to a concert a couple of weeks back, and I saw her perform. Zoe’s in a band, and so- there was just something about her, the way she smiles, actually. She closes her eyes, I don’t even think she realizes she does it, but she gets this half smile on her face, like she just heard the funniest thing in the world, and she can’t tell anyone about it, but at the same time, it’s like she’s letting the audience in on the secret, too, uh..” He cut himself off and looked around at the shocked faces of his friends and the adoring faces of the wives. 

 

“What a sweet young man you are!”

 

“Yes, so observant!”

 

“Why can’t you be more like sweet Evan here, John?” 

 

“Never let this one go, dear.” The woman sitting next to Zoe said, giving her arm a squeeze. Zoe nodded silently, still in shock at Evan’s worlds. When the guests’ attentions were directed elsewhere, she turned to Evan and whispered in his ear.

 

“Evan, you didn’t have to say all that.” She ducked her head to conceal her blush. 

 

“I’m sorry if it was weird, I shouldn’t have brought it up. I just, I don’t know. You’re one of my closest friends, and I care a lot about you. You’re amazing, and I want them to know it.” He replied, trying to hide his blush as well. “When you don’t talk a lot, you just notice things, I guess.” Zoe gave him peck on the cheek and turned back toward the chatting ladies. She seemed much more eager to participate in the conversation, now. 

 

Time dragged on, and Evan could tell by the clenching of Connor’s jaw that he was getting ready to wrap up the evening. Alana, for all her poise and control, seemed tired of having to play the perfect vice president role for an extended period of time. Even Zoe, for all her vibrato and charm, was sagging in her seat. 

 

The couples had fielded the many questions the board members asked, ranging from Connor’s work in the graphic design field to how he and Alana had met. Apparently, Alana had come up with the elaborate ruse that the two had met at one of Jared’s parties and had been steadily dating ever since. How Connor had managed to keep straight the many facets of the story that Alana had provided, he’s never know. 

 

Evan’s saving grace came when a fancy dessert was placed in front of each guest. He watched as Connor and Zoe briefly made eye contact, but didn’t think anything of it until Zoe started wheezing. Her face went red and her eyes watered with unshed tears. Evan was so shocked by the sudden display that he didn’t react when Connor shoved him out of the way. 

 

“Does this have nuts in it?!” He demanded, to which a helpless waitress affirmed. “She’s allergic to nuts! Zoe, where’s your EpiPen?” The blonde made a _‘no’_ motion with her hand. Alana, catching on to the ruse, quickly rounded the table. 

 

“She must have left it at work, she usually keeps it in her desk. We need to get her to a hospital, and soon! There’s one just a few blocks down, so if we hurry…” She trailed off, doing her best to assist Connor. They were about out of the door when Alana called back.

 

“Evan!” Still shellshocked, Evan sprang to his feet and followed his friends out to Connor’s car. 

 

“Zoe! A-Are you okay?” He asked, trying to get a good look at her face. Instead of the terrified look he expected, he was met with Zoe’s sunny smile. 

 

“That convincing, huh?” She asked as she chuckled. 

 

“What?! I thought you were actually having an allergic reaction!” Evan complained, crossing his arms over his chest. Zoe bit her lip and hugged the blond before returning to Alana’s arms. 

 

“Nope, she was just doing it out of convenience. Zoe used to do that to get out of Mom and Dad’s dinner parties. It worked great until they caught on to the fact that she doesn’t actually have a peanut allergy.” Connor replied, taking Evan’s hand and guiding him toward his passenger door. “Common, we have better things to do than play house with these people.” Evan couldn’t argue with that, so he hopped in the sleek car and watched as the restaurant faded from view. 

 

The four found themselves curled up around Alana’s television, junk food scattered all around the floor. Connor and Evan cuddled on the couch while Zoe and Alana refused to call it cuddling but were cuddling on the plush floor. Evan was half paying attention to the movie that was playing. Something about a nerdy teen who suddenly becomes one of the populars by teaming up with her hunky boyfriend to kill the queen bee. He didn’t really care at this point, though. 

 

All he cared about was the fact that Connor was warm and kind and most importantly, _his._

 

The teen onscreen had just shot one of the jocks when the ‘ ** _evan has seen both murphys nekked’_** group chat alerted the couples of a text. Evan really needed to change that group chat name, ASAP. 

 

_Jared Kleinman [9:42 p.m.]_

 

I h8 U aL so much rght now, U left me hEr w dem. U BetA brng me Cofy & a blueberry scone 2moro 2 mAk ^ 4 DIS

 

_Zoe Murphy [9:43 p.m.]_

 

shh, i think it’s trying to communicate 

 

_Connor Murphy [9:44 p.m.]_

 

we still have no idea what you’re saying, man

 

Evan read the texts and smiled up at his boyfriend. He didn’t know what tomorrow was going to bring, or if his anxiety would finally get the better of him, but for right now, he was okay. 

 

 _‘Maybe Jared will finally stop giving me crap about not getting laid.’_ He thought to himself with a blush. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're boyfriends now, yay! 
> 
> PSA: Alana in a pantsuit got me feeling all sorts of things. Zoe's a lucky girl.


	9. Something Bad Is Happening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan discovers something troubling and Connor runs into some old acquaintances.

Contentment was the best word Evan could use to describe the last couple of weeks without sounding like a besotted fool. Infatuation and affection were close, but so help him, Evan would not refer to it as something as childish as a crush. Not that the blond had much experience in the complex workings of love, but Connor made him feel emotions in ways he couldn’t comb through without sending himself into a panic. 

 

He couldn’t help but sigh dreamily as he rested his head against his hand. As much as Connor vigorously emphasized how little he knew of romance, he was doing a damn good job of sweeping the blond off his feet. The brunet had taken him to five star restaurants and hole in the wall diners, designer outlets and bakeries alike, anything that he thought might bring a smile to Evan’s face. 

 

A particular favorite of his was the time Connor had rented a small row boat in Central Park. The date had been going swimmingly until Evan decided he wanted to try his hand at paddling. The two had made the mistake of standing up simultaneously, and Connor ended up falling head first into the lake. Evan couldn’t remember a time he had laughed so hard his stomach ached. He had tears streaming down his face by the time Connor managed to clammer his way back into the boat. The designer was somewhat offset by the turn of events, but he took his revenged on the accountant by carefully climbing over to Evan’s seat and giving him a big, wet hug. The blond had yelled and tried to push the soaked man away, but Connor only held on tighter and shook his sopping hair onto Evan’s nice dress shirt. 

 

The worker had given them an odd look when they returned the boat, but Evan only held his head up proudly and took Connor’s wet hand in his. He even bought Connor a gaudy, _‘I Love New York,’_ towel at one of the local souvenir shops to help the brunet dry off. The designer had scoffed and reluctantly taken the towel, but Evan knew for a fact that it taken up residence in Connor’s bathroom after the incident. 

 

Though having Connor near would never be a permanent cure for his anxiety, it did do a good job of keeping it to a small buzzing in the back of his mind. Evan liked to think he had been doing a good job of hiding the worries and doubts his mind liked to dredge up at inconvenient moments, but he always felt like Connor knew. Whenever Evan would pale and finger the hem of his shirt, Connor’s hand would find his and give him an encouraging squeeze. If he stumbled over his words, the brunet would wait patiently until Evan could get himself back on track. If the hoards of civilians crowding the busy New York streets became too overwhelming, he’d drag Evan into a secluded corner and talk to him about banal things until the crowd passed. 

 

Honestly, the brunet was all he could have ever hoped for in a partner. What he saw in Evan that kept him returning his texts and taking him to expensive places, the blond could only guess. Figuring that it wasn’t worth the effort to ponder over how he could potentially wreck his budding relationship, Evan turned back to his computer. 

 

He had spent a good chunk of his morning looking over the stocks of competing companies and big-box corporations. The _Apple_ and _Microsoft_ stocks were steadily decreasing, which wouldn’t have been as alarming a statistic if the Walmart and Target stocks weren’t decreasing as well. Evan worried at his lip. The investors would surely be looking at these performances as a sign of weakness. If the big-box retailers were having trouble competing to keep sales up with the increased price on clothing, gas, and food, then the higher-end-consumer-goods companies were surely to suffer as well. As much as Evan didn’t want to entertain the idea, _Kleinman Corps._ could be looking at the beginnings of a financial slump. 

 

Evan pushed his chair back from his desk in agitation and rubbed at his tired eyes. With how much money they had just poured into launching the new technology line, they couldn’t afford to have people _not_ be able to afford their products. The predicted sales he had drawn up earlier in the quarter would have to be redrafted, and Evan feared what he would find should it come to that. Picking up the receiver, he quickly phoned Alana. In less than five minutes, he had the vice president standing before his desk in a black pencil skirt and pastel pink blouse. 

 

“Alana, take a look at this.” He murmured, turning his desktop around to face the woman. He had quickly drawn up a rough graph of projected sales should the financial slump actually come into fruition. The dark skinned woman pushed her glasses up her nose as she examined the statistics. “We couldn’t have picked a worse time to launch the new line. If this continues, we could be looking at major financial losses for the company, job cuts, maybe even putting a premature end to the new release…” Evan pinched the bridge of his nose. He heard Alana sigh sadly and push his desktop back into place. He turned and met her chocolate eyes, hoping to find some reassurance. 

 

“I know you’re only trying to predict possible financial pitfalls, so this is only a rough draft but… just to air on the side of caution, why don’t you show this to Jared?” She instructed, readjusting her skirt and making her way to the door. Evan nodded absentmindedly as he eyed the projections. “Thanks…” His words were lost as Alana was already out the door and off to take on more pressing issues. Evan briefly paused to wonder how the small woman was able to move so quickly in her frighteningly tall heels when Connor entered. Evan quickly shut off his computer and greeted the brunet a bit too readily.

 

“C-Connor! H-Hey, I-I mean, how’s it going?” He scrambled to rearrange his already neat desk. Connor raised a questioning eyebrow and took the chair in front of Evan’s desk. 

 

“Jared gave me way too long of a lunch break, so I figured I’d come up here and see if you wanted to grab something to eat.” He replied, grabbing a pencil from Evan’s desk and twiddling it between his fingers. 

 

“Jared gave me too short of a lunch break, so…” He chuckled nervously and bit his lip at Connor’s hopeful smile. 

 

“So, is that a yes to pissing off your boss and skipping school with me?” He goaded, leaning over the desk to place a quick peck on Evan’s lips. 

 

“I promised Zoe I wouldn’t let you be a bad influence on me. I don’t know if she’d approve of me playing hooky with her brother.” Evan teased, trying to follow Connor’s lips. 

 

“Fuck it, then. I’m kipnapping you. Let’s go, Hansen.” At Evan’s questioning stare, Connor rolled his eyes and advanced on the blond. “Don’t think I’m above dragging you to my car by your designer shoes.” Connor actually seemed like he’d make real of his threat, so Evan made quick work of locking his office door and following the brunet to the awaiting car. 

 

The New York traffic wasn’t especially heinous, considering the lunch hour. Or maybe it was, and Evan was too distracted by the lips on his neck to notice. Either way, the couple ended up at a luxurious restaurant that the blond couldn’t pronounce the name of. As they approached the door, Connor turned toward Evan with a nervous gaze.

 

“This okay? I know it’s a bit much. I saw a guy selling street rice down the block if you want that, instead.” 

 

“Yes - No, I mean- no, to the street rice, yes, this is great. I’m happy with wherever you take me.” Evan said with a shy smile. Connor chuckled. 

 

“You say that, now. Wait until I take you somewhere awful… like a White Castle, or gas station sushi.” 

 

“We both know you wouldn’t stoop that low.” Evan replied as he held the door open for Connor. The brunet stepped inside and rolled his eyes. “I think you just insulted everyone who likes White Castle. I’m impressed.” Evan just beamed and followed the designer inside. A middle aged hostess who was standing behind an ornate podium greeted the couple. 

 

“Mr. Murphy, we’re delighted to see you, again. Right this way, if you please.” She said professionally, leading the pair to a lavish table near the garden area. As they walked, Evan couldn’t help but notice several pairs of eyes on them, or more specifically, Connor. Before the blond could ponder why this could be, a man approached with a saucy look in his brown eyes. 

 

“Connor, it’s good to see you, again. Are you here on business?” He asked, giving Evan an objective once over. The blond fiddled with his tie, uncomfortable with being looked at so closely. Connor reached down and grabbed his hand before he could create more wrinkles. 

 

“Pleasure, actually. Whizzer, this is my boyfriend, Evan.” He introduced. Evan shook his hand before quickly pulling it back to his chest, not liking the way this man was eyeing Connor hungrily. 

 

“Pity.” He murmured before wishing the couple a good day and strolling back to his table. Instead of answering Evan’s unspoken question, he pulled out the blond’s chair and waited for him to sit before taking his own. He made of show of unfolding his napkin and placing it on his lap before taking a sip of his water. He finally turned his stormy blue eyes on the accountant, who was busying himself with trying to look like he wasn’t having an internal freak out.

 

“I’m guessing you want to know what that was about.” He said, not so much a question but a statement. Evan nodded, not trusting his voice. “How do I put this nicely? Whizzer is an _acquaintance.”_

 

Acquaintance? Acquaintance?! From what Evan knew about acquaintances, (mostly from Alana, mind him) was that they usually didn't eye your boyfriend hungrily and then storm off when they weren’t allowed to go screw in the most likely fancy bathroom in the back. If Evan had to guess, and he was pretty certain he was correct, Whizzer was probably more acquainted with Connor’s bedroom than the brunet wanted to admit. 

 

Evan sighed and tried to keep his racing emotions under control. Sometimes, he forgot that Connor never really had a real relationship before him. He was bound to run into some of his hookups eventually, if the numbers Zoe claimed were realistic. Setting his napkin on his lap, he let his hands run over the silky fabric. Back and forth, four, five times, before he felt comfortable enough to speak without his voice cracking.

 

“W-Was he? Uhm. A one-night-stand?” Evan asked, already knowing the answer. Connor seemed reluctant to answer, almost embarrassed. “It’s okay, I don’t mind! W-Well, I do kind of mind, Zoe told me a lot about your sex life before I even met you, I’m sorry if that’s weird that I remembered that, sorry…” 

 

“Ev.” The blond clamped his mouth shut and met Connor’s thunderous expression. “I’m only telling you this because I don’t think you’ll go running for the door if I do.” Evan nodded, his curiosity peaked. “You’re right about Whizzer being a one-night-stand. And before we get any other surprise acquaintances, I want to point out that I’ve slept with that waiter to your left…” He directed his eyes toward a tall blond man. “…and that business man to your right.” Evan quickly scanned their profiles, both males being tall, lean, and handsome. Great, just the opposite of him. At least that explained all the staring. Connor’s hand on his was enough to redirect his attention. 

 

“I want you to know that they don’t mean anything to me, not like you do. My past doesn’t reflect who I am, now. You of all people should understand that.” He said seriously. The blond did understand where Connor was coming from. Evan liked to think he had matured from the anxious, sad eyed teen he’d been in high school. He had gotten better. Some days felt like he was taking more steps backwards than forwards, but he had made himself a promise not to let himself fall into the hole that had convinced him that letting go of that tree branch was the only option. If he could turn himself around, so could Connor. 

 

“I understand…having you here, with me…” The blond let out a breathy laugh. “…that’s enough.” He rubbed his thumb along Connor’s knuckles. The brunet smiled sadly and nodded. A  waitress approached the couple of quickly took their orders. Connor ordered for the two of them, as Evan hadn’t had the time to brief the menu beforehand. Once she left with their orders, the conversation drifted into lighter topics. 

 

The brunet was talking about the drafts he had been working on that day, but Evan couldn’t fulling concentrate on Connor’s story due to the fact that his eyes kept wandering over to the men Connor had pointed out to him. What was it about himself that had Connor breaking his playboy lifestyle for a monogamous one? Did he miss it, being able to sleep with any pretty boy that caught his eye? Whizzer was good looking, and clearly willing if his longing gaze was anything to go by. 

 

“…I like to wear lingerie under my suit.” 

 

“W-What?!” 

 

“Oh, so you caught that part of the conversation?” 

 

“S-Sorry! I was just-” 

 

“You’re totally distracted-

 

“N-No! I’m listening, I swear!-”

 

“-because you keep looking at Whizzer-”

 

“I’m just thinking about work!” Connor gave him a hard stare before sighing and leaning back in his chair. 

 

“Alright, what about work has you so distracted that you can’t look me in the eyes for longer than two seconds?” Connor knew he was being kind of an ass, but the fact that Evan seemed to be hung up on his past flings was driving him up a wall. 

 

Evan felt sweat pool at his temples and down the back of his neck. Shit, shit, shit. What was he supposed to tell Connor, now? The brunet already had enough piled on his plate, what with running his business, completing his work for Jared, and changing his lifestyle to accommodate a budding relationship. The last thing he needed was Evan breaking down in public over something that wasn’t even a problem. If the financial findings hadn’t been stressing him out enough for the day, this was certainly doing it. 

 

Connor was staring at him. Was he even blinking? Think, Evan, think!

 

The brunet didn’t look to be in the type of mood to listen to Evan fret over company financials. Evan didn’t want to be a burden and push his worries about the company on Connor. Evan just wanted to go home and pull the covers over his head and pretend his day wasn’t slowly going down the drain. 

 

“Oh, uhm - j-just a lot of meetings today… it’s been a bit much…” Evan replied, hoping he looked convincing. Connor raised an eyebrow and studied the blond intently. Biting his lip, Evan internally berated himself for lying to his boyfriend. He didn’t like the way his palms clammed up and his mouth felt dry, but he would take the consequences if it meant Connor didn’t have to shoulder his anxiety. Before Connor could make an assessment, the waitress appeared with their meals. At first, Evan was relieved to have Connor’s intense stare directed at something else, but his reprieve was short lived. The atmosphere around their table was tense and awkward, and neither man knew quite how to break it. They ate in relative silence, Connor berating himself for ever pointing out trinkets from his past. Evan, on the other hand, was letting his thoughts chase themselves in circles.

 

_‘Would Whizzer have lied to Connor if he were in my situation? I don’t want to push the worries of my job onto his shoulders. Isn’t that what couples are supposed to do, though? He never talks about how much stress his job puts him under, even though I know it keeps him up at night. I don’t want to add to that!’_

 

_‘What does he see in me that he doesn’t see in the others? Who else has he slept with that I don’t know about? Should I be worried? He told me not to worry, he’s not like that anymore. I trust Connor, I do. Just… Someday he’s going to wake up and realize how boring I am and leave, just like everyone else… No! Don’t think like that! You are not going to throw yourself a pity party and sulk at your house for two days! You have too much work to do to be thinking about this, right now._

 

 

_‘Why is he looking at me like that?’_

 

“We…should head back.” Connor said, quickly flagging the waitress down and paying. He barely looked at the check before pulling out a couple of bills and placing them on the table. “Let’s go.” Evan mutely followed, unsure if he should take Connor’s hand or not. The couple weaved in and out of the workforce who were making their ways back to their jobs. Evan watched their expressionless faces as they passed, and he wondered if he looked just as blank as they did. New York’s bright colors didn’t feel as vibrant today. 

 

The two stepped out of the elevator and back into Evan’s office, where Alana quickly tracked them down.

 

“Evan, I’ve set up a meeting with Jared to discuss your findings. He’s in his office, if you’re free?” She asked, already out of the door. Evan turned to Connor with hunched shoulders. The brunet couldn’t help but notice how Evan’s usually pale face seemed to drain of color entirely. Connor guessed the thought of another meeting must have really been testing Evan’s anxiety. Knowing his questioning would only lead to the blond to becoming more stressed, he decided to let it be.

 

“I-I have to get back to work. See you, tonight?” He asked hopefully. Connor nodded and gave him a kiss on the forehead before retiring to his own office to work. He hoped that whatever had caused the awkwardness of the day had lifted by the time dinner rolled around. 

 

Evan made his way up to Jared’s office. The brunet was looking over Evan’s draft he had sent before lunch. His brows were knit in concern and his hair looked as if he had been running his hands through it. 

 

“Evan, good. I want you to explain this in detail to me, to make sure I’m reading this correctly.” He stated, all business. The blond nodded and left no room for confusion as he explained his findings and predictions. Jared followed along, asking questions when appropriate. The lack of witty banter was unnerving. Even when Jared was stressed, he was able to find the silver lining and make the punchline. This wasn’t good. Jared looked scared. 

 

“W-What do you want me to do?” Evan asked, pulling at his tie. Jared rubbed his face in his hands as he thought. 

 

“I want you to start drawing up the financial report for the next quarter, as well as predictions for how the new line will sell if what your telling me is a possibility. I want to get ahead of this before it becomes a steaming pile of shit.” He said as he pushed his chair back from his desk and turned to face the New York skyline. Evan nodded and silently left the room. 

 

It looked like he would be working late the next couple of nights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not throwing shade at White Castle, but i googled a list of the grossest restaurants and it came up, so...
> 
> I have the rest of the chapters drafted out, but if there's something you'd like to see, let me know. I can try and work it in to the story if it works well. I'm really enjoying your comments, they make me happy :) 
> 
> Have a great week, y'all! College starts on Thursday for me, so prayers if you please. ;P


	10. Sleepovers Are The Answer To Life's Biggest Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan stresses and Connor works it out.

Read, type, repeat. 

 

Evan’s eyes quickly scanned over the numerous emails vying for his attention. His fingers twitched over his computer mouse as he read over another report from one of the various accountants he supervised. 

 

The blond had constructed a small team to keep an eye on the GDP, as well as the stock prices for competing brands. The employees had worked diligently and sent Evan a full report. 

 

The results were…less than stellar. 

 

He still had about five more emails to look through, but the blond didn’t need to brief them to know the economy was headed toward a financial slump. Evan groaned and pushed his laptop away from his body as if it had personally insulted his mother and made off with his first born. It fell to the floor with a satisfying bang. The accountant would have been worried about shattering the screen if it weren't for the fact that Jared had custom made the laptop to be shatterproof. As much as Evan hated to admit it, he had broken a computer or two in his earlier days stressing over financials. 

 

Making a quick list in his head, Evan thought through all the implications this revelation would mean. The most obvious would be budget costs, followed by job cuts and downsizing. The blond debated whether it would be worth getting in contact with Jared tonight to work out a game plan. Before he could decide, a quick ding from his phone distracted his already racing thoughts. A quick glance showed a snapchat from the man himself. Evan opened it quickly, only to be assaulted by Jared’s shrill singing as he sang along to a tween pop song. Apparently, the CEO had nothing better to do while driving around in his expensive sports car. 

 

The blond hesitated before sending back a picture of Connor’s living room with a caption about the dangers of distracted driving. He figured he would give his friend one more night of ignorant bliss before dishing the bad news Jared had been hoping to avoid. 

 

He gently placed his phone back on the coffee table, his hands nervously tapping a beat on the side of the couch. Evan’s head whirred as his brain began formulating a plan of attack. He already had a mental list of possible budget cuts, as well as ideas that might appease the board and keep _Kleinman Corps._ from having to let a considerable amount of employees go. Numbly, he picked his laptop up and opened it again. Maybe it wouldn’t be too late to put a hold on the production line until the economy was in a better standing.

 

“Ev, you alright?” Connor asked as he stepped into the living room, clad in only a navy blue towel. Not even the intoxicating sight of the shirtless brunet was enough to pull Evan out of his panicked state. 

 

“Fine…” He mumbled, his eyes barely straying from his screen. It looked like the Kleinman Warehouses were already beginning the process of distributing the new product line to their sister stores. Maybe Jared would be able to sell the first set of units and cancel production of the restock? There was enough hype around the new phones being released that they would be able to sell the first units easily and not have to worry about the decrease in sales once the economy really took a turn for the worst. 

 

“Really? Because you don’t look fine.” Connor deadpanned, flipping a wet strand of hair behind his ear. Advancing on the blond, he wedged himself behind the couch and began rubbing at the tense line of Evan’s shoulders. Trailing kisses down the blond’s neck, he placed heated nips against his sensitive jaw. 

 

“C-Connor, not now.” Evan mumbled as he pushed the brunet away. Connor growled but minded the blond’s personal space. 

 

“Not in the mood, huh? That’s a first.” He mumbled, cuddling up against the blond’s side, instead. From the quick glance he took at Evan’s laptop, he was going through work emails. Deciding to play the gracious boyfriend, he rubbed comforting circles into the accountant’s thigh. 

 

“Is something up with work?” He asked tentatively. Evan’s eyes snapped up to his in a panic. Connor could see the gears in the blond’s head turning as he tried to come up with an excuse. He placed a tense hand on top of Connor’s and squeezed. 

 

“N-No, why would you think that?” He spit out quickly as he shut his laptop with authority. Connor rolled his eyes and turned to face the blond. 

 

“Oh, well, I don’t know. Maybe because you’re ignoring the delectable sight of me in nothing but a towel, and you won’t let me get a look at your laptop. If you’re looking at porn, I could recommend some decent sites-”

 

“I’m not looking at porn!” Evan practically shouted, his laptop tumbling to the floor for the second time that night. He groaned and gave it a childish kick, sending it under the coffee table. Connor raised an amused eyebrow and flipped his hand over so he could interlock their fingers. “I’m not looking at porn.” He mumbled, leaning his head against the brunet’s shoulder. Connor rested his head against Evan’s and stared up at the ceiling.

 

“What’s bothering you?” He asked quietly. Evan sighed and rubbed his nose against Connor’s neck. The last thing Evan wanted to do was be a burden to the brunet. Ranting and panicking over his job would do nothing to endear the designer to him. Besides, Connor had enough to deal with without having to worry that he’d come home to his anxious mess of a boyfriend every night until this mess was sorted out. 

 

 _‘Never let him see the worst of you.’_ A wisp of a thought reminded him, making Evan shut his eyes tightly. No, he would not wreck this relationship by reverting back to his high school self. The stuttering, helpless, lonely kid could be pushed back into the recesses of his mind and forgotten about. Connor would get to see the new version of himself. The version who could speak on the phone and order food with minor casualties. The one who kept the books for one of the most powerful companies in the country. The man who supervised an entire fleet of employees who respected him, more or less. He needed to be strong, because that’s what Connor deserved.

 

“Just work. This release has been particularly stressful…sorry for worrying you.” He said, trying to sound confident. If Evan had been able to see Connor’s face, he would have seen the disbelieving look plastered on the brunet’s face. 

 

 

“Oh.”

 

As much as Connor wanted to trust Evan and believe what he was saying, there was something in him that told him the blond wasn’t telling the whole truth. It stung him to know that Evan didn’t seem to trust him enough to tell him his problems. He had thought he had been doing an okay job of breaking down Evan’s barriers and giving him a reason to open up to him, but apparently it wasn’t enough. Things had been weird since their restaurant date a few days ago. Was Evan still hung up on that? 

 

Those men were beautiful, sure, but they paled in comparison to what Evan could do. Behind Evan’s azure eyes was someone innocent and kind, a polar opposite to Connor’s brash and sarcastic demeanor. He brought out a part of him he thought had long ago died. It must have been obvious, because even Zoe had pulled him aside one day to remark on how she could recognize traces of her brother from the days before everything went to hell in a hand basket. 

 

 _‘How stupid and sentimental.’_ He thought angrily, trying to keep his body from tensing up and alerting Evan to his distress. His anger was a cover up for how scared these new emotions were making the brunet feel. He had promised himself to never fall in love, and here he was, giving that promise a big middle finger. What if he opened himself up to Evan and let him see all the broken parts? Would the blond stay, even knowing how fucked up his mind was? Well, used to be. He’d gotten better, that much he could admit. He’d never be the same person he was before, but he swore he’d never go back to the depressed, angry teenager he was in high school. If he was lucky, Evan would never meet that person, not if he had anything to say about it. 

 

Where was he? Right. His boyfriend was being distant and it was pissing him off. 

 

His teenage self would have thrown a fit and stormed off in rage, but he wasn’t that person anymore. He counted to ten and took calming breaths, putting a cap on his anger. When he felt calm enough to think rationally, he allowed himself to assess the situation.

 

_‘Alright, Evan doesn’t want to open up about what’s really bothering him. Fine. Let him have his secrets, for now. You just have to give him more of a reason to trust you.’_

 

 _‘He’s still stressed, you can feel how tense he is against you. What would make him feel better?’_ Connor bit his lip and wracked his brain for ways to help the blond. He couldn’t make the troubles at work stop, he wasn’t God. Maybe he could take Evan away from work, though? 

 

An idea struck Connor with such force that he almost dislodged Evan from the couch with how quickly he sat up. The accountant yelped and gripped the arm of the couch to keep from falling out of his seat completely. 

 

“Connor?” He asked, trying to right himself. Taking ahold of Evan’s shoulders, he gripped them tightly and faced the blond. 

 

“Let’s go on a vacation, together.” He said, grinning like an excited child. Evan was dumbstruck, his eyes wide and pleading. 

 

“…now?” He asked, voice going up an octave. Connor nodded excitedly and picked up his laptop from the coffee table. 

 

“Yes, now!” He said as he quickly entered his password and began looking up a certain place he had in mind. A site popped up, tropical sunsets coloring the screen. “My parents used to take Zoe and I to Hawaii for ‘family bonding.’ As much as I hated my parents at the time, I really liked Hawaii. It was quiet.” 

 

“We can’t just go on a spur of the moment vacation to Hawaii! We’d have to book a hotel and get plane tickets, and you know how expensive those are last minute. Plus, Jared would freak out if I just left work without warning, not to mention you have your business, and-” Connor cut off his ramblings with a quick kiss. Evan looked put off, but didn’t try to convince his boyfriend further. 

 

“You and I both know how many vacation hours you’ve wracked up. When was the last time you went on an actual vacation?” Connor asked, turning his attention away from booking a hotel. Evan blushed and picked at a fraying string on his pajama pants. His last real vacation was maybe three years ago, when he and his mother went to Washington D.C. to visit the monuments. The brunet smiled, taking pride in being able to read the blond. 

 

“It was with your mom, wasn’t it?” 

 

“N-No.”

 

“Yes, it was.”

 

“O-Okay, yes, but-”

 

“Don’t think, just say you’ll come with me.” Connor pleaded, imitating the puppy eyes his sister was so fond of using. What? Hanging out with Zoe gave him the chance to perfect the look. He felt guilty for using it on Evan, but if it meant his boyfriend said yes, then he could deal with a little bit of guilt. The blond looked conflicted. 

 

“Give me ’til the end of the week to think about it, okay?” He asked quietly. Connor’s heart sank, but rationalized it was the only way his boyfriend would maybe agree to the trip. 

 

“Deal.” 

 

The couple retired to the brunet’s room shortly after, Evan curled into Connor’s chest. The designer let his hand wander teasingly down the blond’s chest and rubbed his hips. He gave tiny nips to his ears and jaw, and was just about to rub his length into the blond’s backside when a snore ceased his actions. Evan had fallen asleep, much to Connor’s disappointment. He groaned and rolled over. 

 

So much for ending the night with a bang. 

 

 

* * *

 

“Did I invite you?” 

 

“No, but I heard you and Treevan talking about your little sleepover outside of my office today, and that sounded like an invitation if I’ve ever heard one.” 

 

Zoe rolled her eyes but let Jared into her apartment, regardless. Evan and Alana were sitting on Zoe’s couch, face masks donned. Without hesitation, Jared picked up the bowl of paste and handed it to Alana. 

 

“Paint it on, baby. I wanna glow.” Jared said. Alana rolled her eyes but smiled fondly and began applying the face mask to her boss. Evan yelped as the dark skinned woman shifted her feet, dislodging him as he tried to paint her toes. She quickly apologized and let the blond go back to meticulously applying the coral color to her nails. 

 

Zoe reappeared with a bowl of popcorn and ate a few kernels. She put a rom-com in the DVD player and sat on the floor. Alana clucked her tongue and leaned back, inspecting her work. With an approving smile, she joined the blonde on the floor. 

 

“Aren’t we supposed to share office gossip or something? Because if we are, I want to rant about Barrett. She never gets my coffee order right. All I ask is for is complete perfection, is that too much to ask-” 

 

“You love Barrett, stop pretending you hate the interns.” Alana scolded, slapping him lightly on the knee. “We’re here for Evan to talk about his feelings, anyway.” Evan blushed and tried to busy himself with screwing the cap back on the polish. 

 

“Oh, is the sex life a little lackluster, buddie? ‘Cause I have some great tips if you need them-” Zoe cut off the brunet’s ramblings by whacking him with a pillow. The girls turned expectant eyes on Evan. He sighed and pulled a pillow to his chest. 

 

“Connor asked me to go on vacation with him…” He trailed off as he squeezed the pillow tighter.

 

“What?!” All three voices cried in unison. Evan shrugged. “He wants to take me to Hawaii. Do you think it’s a good idea? I mean, I really want to, but we’ve only been dating for about two months, is that too early to be taking this big of a trip? I mean, we don’t even live together, and we’d be together 24/7 if I do say yes…” For once, the group didn’t cut off his ramblings. He looked up and saw Zoe staring at him with glassy eyes. 

 

“I think it’s a great idea. You have to go, you have to!” She said, clambering to his side on the couch. Alana joined him on his other side.

 

“It would be an excellent chance to bond. They have many activities that cater to couples.” Alana said, giving Evan’s arm an excited squeeze. The blond smiled and turned toward Jared, surprised by his silence. In an uncharacteristic show of maturity, Jared stood and placed his hands on his hips.

 

“I don’t mean to be a dick about this, but are you sure that’s a good idea?” He asked. Evan opened his mouth to protest, but couldn’t find the words. “Don’t get me wrong, you can have the days off if you decide to go, but are you sure you want to risk going on vacation with Connor? You guys could barely admit you were dating until Connor accidentally called you his boyfriend and you were all like, _‘M-M-My b-b-boyfriend?!’_ ” 

 

“Get to the point, Jared.” Evan muttered.

 

“What I’m saying is, you can go because you look way to stressed for it to be healthy, but I’d really like to have you around, what with how the finances of the company are looking right now.” Jared finished, claiming a plush chair on the other side of the couch. 

 

Evan watched as the couple on the television kissed passionately. His mind was racing, bringing up pros and cons. A vibration from his pocket brought him out of his musings. He quickly pulled out his phone and saw a text from the root of his problem. 

 

_[Connor Murphy <3] 8:04 p.m. _

 

_hey, babe. i bought a new yankees sweatshirt because you commandeered mine. ;) no worries, it looks better on you, anyways <3 _

 

Evan’s ears went red as he played with the hem of said sweatshirt. 

 

“I think… I think I’m gonna go.” He whispered quietly, almost to himself. Zoe whooped with delight and shoved a congratulatory piece of chocolate in her mouth. She looked far too excited at the prospect of a getaway adventure for her brother and best friend. Alana chuckled and took a piece of Zoe’s candy bar. Evan turned worried eyes on Jared, but was surprised to find his friend giving him a shit eating grin.

 

“I know you’re worried about the company, but I’ll keep my phone on me at all times. We can Skype, too!” Evan quickly spoke, trying to convince Jared that this was a good idea. The brunet only rolled his eyes. 

 

“I’m only approving this because I want you two to be able to find the perfect spot to say your ‘I do’s’ for your destination wedding.” 

 

“W-We aren’t getting married, stop!” 

 

“Yes, you are. Shut the fuck up.” 

 

“Jared, you’re starting to crack. Common, let’s go wash your face mask off before you get it all over my apartment.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the kids are going to Hawaii! this was mostly a filler chapter, so hopefully it's alright. more interesting things should happen in the next one ;P 
> 
> as always, have a good week, and try not to let stress get the best of ya.


	11. This Is What Connor Gets For Trying To Be A Good Boyfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys finally arrive in Hawaii and things take a turn for the strange.

“I hate airports, I hate airports, _I. HATE. AIRPORTS._ ” Evan spat as he raced through the crowded terminals. 

 

The flight itself had been pleasant enough. Connor had held his hand and squeezed as the wheels slowly lifted off the ground, placing little pecks to his cheek to distract the blond from his anxiety of the plane suddenly losing an engine and plummeting into the ocean. Connor had even gone the extra mile and gotten the two upgraded to First Class, as to save Evan from having to cram himself into a seat with all the other disgruntled travelers. 

 

As soon as the cabin door was unlatched, Evan was out of his seat and racing towards the exit. Connor was hot on his heels, grabbing the carry on that the blond had left in the overhead luggage compartment. He caught up to the accountant somewhere around the souvenir shop and took ahold of his wrist. Evan twitched and turned around, looking surprised to see Connor. Apparently in his rush to get to the shuttle, he had completely forgotten about his travel companion. The brunet only chuckled and laced his fingers through Evan’s as he tugged him toward a private car. They approached a man holding a sign with Connor’s last name hastily written on it. He greeted them quickly before ushering the couple into a nondescript Toyota. 

 

Putting up the divider, Connor turned to Evan and pulled him into his lap. The blond let out a sigh and sagged against the brunet, his body unwinding from the stress of flying. Connor mouthed lazily at his neck and used his hand to card through Evans’s soft hair. He mumbled contently and gave into his body’s need for physical contact. 

 

“Look outside.” Connor rumbled into his ear, using his hand to guide the blond’s face toward the window. Blue eyes widened in awe as Evan took in the Hawaiian landscape. Palm trees reached toward the heavens and danced in the island breeze as wave after wave crashed along the white sandy beaches. The sun had just reached it’s peak, causing Evan to squint against the harsh rays. 

 

“Wow…” He murmured. Connor’s heart fluttered. The accountant’s smile alone was worth all the time and money he had dolled out for the trip. Evan stared admiringly out the window from the airport to the vacation house, where Connor unlocked the front door and led them inside. 

 

Evan took tentative steps into the house, not believing his tired eyes. Rich, stained wood banisters connected the floor to the ceiling, while the glass paneling allowed for copious amounts of sunlight to stream through the windows. The tan marble floor sparkled against the invading rays, and Evan bit his lip as he looked around the room. It looked to be a fancy version of a living room, with a soft couch and chairs gathered around a coffee table. Cultural art and rugs were strewn about the room, giving it a cozy but classy feel. 

 

Growing more confident, he let his bag fall to the ground as he walked further into the house. The living room was connected to a state of the art kitchen, all hard wood and tiles. Sleek, silver appliances were installed, as well as a well lit island. Evan looked out the floor to ceiling windows past the kitchen, taking note of the tropical plants and gently lapping ocean beyond. Turning, he met Connor with shining eyes. 

 

“What do you think?” Connor asked quietly, as if embarrassed. His parents were never ones to spare expenses, especially when it came to their pet projects such as their vacation homes. Evan shook his head in disbelief. 

 

“This is…so great… I can’t believe…” He was having a hard time stringing a sentence together with all his thoughts racing inside his head. This was the nicest thing someone had ever done for him. Not only had Connor footed the bill for the trip, he had gone the extra mile and gotten them a beautiful home. Evan had gotten over his fear of hotels long ago, but it still rubbed him the wrong way to have to sleep in a bed that had most likely been used for ‘questionable’ activities. Connor must have sensed this, picking instead to have them stay in a cozy home complete with beautiful decor and an even more beautiful view.

 

“It’s kind of over the top, I know-” Connor cut himself off and ran a and through his hair. 

 

“No, it’s perfect… I can’t believe you did all this for me.” Evan said, slowly walking back toward the brunet. The corner of Connor’s lip turned up in satisfaction, and he shook his head fondly. 

 

 

“You’re making me sound like some sort of Romeo. Stop it.” He said jokingly. Evan hummed, his eyes half lidded. “There’s a bar not too far from here, if you’re up for some overpriced drinks and obnoxious tourists-”

 

“No.” 

 

“W-What?” Connor was the one to stutter for once, taken aback by Evan’s uncharacteristic confidence. Evan smirked and pushed the brunet against the kitchen island. Grabbing Connor by the collar, he placed a sensual kiss on his lips. The designer eagerly returned the kiss, his arms snaking around the blond’s lithe waist. He found himself chasing Evan’s mouth as he pulled back. 

 

“No, we aren’t going to walk to the bar and converse with the locals about the weather. Once I find the bedroom, I’m going to hold you down and _thank you_ for everything you’ve done for me.” Evan said, his voice dropping several octaves as he rained kisses down Connor’s neck. He nipped at the brunet’s collar bone, leaving a bright red mark in it’s wake. Connor bit his lip, his cock already half hard with interest. He never expected such a dominate force behind Evan’s innocent eyes, but the thought of his little accountant throwing him onto a bed and ravishing him within an inch of his life had Connor very eager to follow along. 

 

“Let’s not waste time trying to find the bedroom, then. I want you naked as fast as humanly possible.” Connor replied, giving Evan’s ass a squeeze. The blond quirked an eyebrow, as if to say _‘lead the way.’_

 

Connor grabbed his hand and led him down a hallway, several pictures of scenic Hawaii lining the hall. Before the brunet could open the bedroom door, his back met the unforgiving wall behind him. Evan had him by the hips, he lips crashing down on his. Connor groaned and ran his hands through Evan’s short hair. The blond bucked his hips and gave the back of Connor’s hair a pull. The brunet moaned and immediately blushed. Not many people knew this particular kink, but Connor loved when people would grab ahold of his hair and pull. His dick pulsed with interest, and Evan quickly caught on if the next tug of his locks was any indicator. Connor threw his head back, accidentally colliding with the wall. A sudden crash next to the couple had them turning to find shattered glass littering the floor. Apparently, they were being a bit too enthusiastic, as one of the framed pictures had fallen because of their foreplay. Evan laughed and hooked a finger under Connor’s chin, redirecting his attention. 

 

“I-I’ll clean that up, later. Right now, you’re all mine.” And why did the thought of being only Evan’s make Connor’s cheek heat up? Deciding it wasn’t important to analyze at the moment, he quickly sealed his lips over the blond’s. Evan awkwardly maneuvered them to the door and shoved it open with his foot as he stripped Connor of his shirt. The bed dipped as the brunet was unceremoniously shoved unto it, Evan following soon after. He caged Connor with his arms and leaned down to connect their lips once more. 

 

Connor fiddled with Evan’s pants and was able to shimming them down his thighs as Evan raked his hands down the brunet’s sides. His back arched off the bed and he groaned. Taking the opportunity to strip Connor of his jeans, Evan left the lightly panting man in only his black underwear. He grinned as he threw the article of clothing to the ground, taking off his clothing as well. Connor looked down and saw that Evan’s underwear had tiny palm tress on them, surprising a giggle out of him. Evan looked down and blushed. 

 

“Shut up, I dressed for the occasion.” He murmured, cutting off the brunet’s chuckles with a bite to the neck. Connor moaned and took ahold of Evan’s shoulders, squeezing tightly enough to bruise. While he licked gently at the red mark, his hands wandered down the man’s torso. He tweaked a nipple and relished in Connor’s gasp. Hooking his fingers under the designer’s waist band, he had the underwear off before Connor realized what was happening.

 

It wasn’t often that Connor let another person take the lead, but he was enjoying this exchange of power. He trusted Evan to make him feel good, and if the blond stayed around after for some post coital kisses, Connor sure as hell wasn’t going to complain. He was brought out of his musings by Evan gently lapping at his chest, his sweet little accountant doing a wonderful job of playing him like a musical instrument. The tongue made it’s way lower, giving a tentative lick to his belly button before nipping lightly at his hips. 

 

“..so beautiful.” He heard Evan mumble as he parted the brunet’s thighs. Connor hoisted himself up on his elbows to watch as Evan placed small bites against the tender skin of his inner thigh. They shook slightly, his cock weeping pathetically against his stomach. Evan paid it no mind, instead invested in leaving as many marks on Connor’s skin as possible. He bit his lip, trying to keep his groans from being audible. Evan looked up, his blue eyes dark with lust. He brought a hand up to gently taps against Connor’s lip. 

 

“You always complain about wanting to hear me…” He said, giving Connor’s cock a teasing graze. Connor gasped. “I want to hear you, too.” He said, finally taking ahold of Connor. Connor threw his head back against the pillows and groaned. Usually, he would be self conscious about making so much noise, preferring instead to make his partners scream with delight. With Evan though, he felt safe enough to let him know just how much he was enjoying the stimulation. 

 

All too soon, he felt a wet tongue sneaking it’s way around his throbbing member, and he cried out in delight. Evan bobbed his head and played with his heavy balls, causing Connor to grab hold of the sheets until his knuckles turned white. Evan’s tongue circled the head, lapping at the precum that gathered there. Connor brought a shaking hand to Evan’s head and pulled on his short locks, making the blond moan. The vibrations felt heavenly, and Connor could feel the beginnings of his orgasm pooling in his stomach. Evan bravely swallowed, bringing his nose to Connor’s groin. The brunet’s hair tickled his nose, and he rubbed at his hips sensually. Connor took Evan’s head and pulled back. Raising an eyebrow, Evan decided not to comment on Connor’s flushed cheeks and heaving chest. Instead, he took Connor’s hands from his hair and kissed his fingertips. Before Evan could start trailing kisses up his wrists, Connor pulled away. He kept his wrists close to his chest, as if trying to shield Evan from them. The blond stared silently before understanding flashed in his azure eyes. Reaching out, he let his hands hover over Connor’s. 

 

“Evan…” He mumbled, looking away. The blond placed warm hands over his wrists.

 

“Trust me…” He murmured, blue eyes warm and full of love. Connor looked deep into those sky blue orbs before nodding slightly and releasing his hands to Evan. The blond took his wrists and flipped them heavenward, revealing thin, white scars that ranged from small scrapes to large gashes. He ran his plush lips up Connor’s arms, making sure to kiss every one before making his way down the other. The brunet could feel tears prick the corners of his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. Though he did a thorough job of making sure no one ever saw the results of his depression, a fair amount of one night stands had commented on them. Connor had always gotten mad and threatened to kick them out, but no one had ever taken the time to lovingly kiss each and every scar. When he met Evan’s eyes, he found nothing but love and understanding. It was a stark difference from the disgust and revulsion he was used to. 

 

God, this man was an angel. 

 

“I want you inside me.” Connor said quietly, raising watery eyes to Evan’s. Evan looked surprised, and Connor quirked his lips. “Please.” Evan laughed and jumped off the bed to grab a tube of lube from his pants pocket. Now Connor was the one laughing. 

 

“You little shit, you planned on seducing me the entire time, didn’t you?” He teased, sitting back up on his arms. Evan blushed and shrugged slightly. 

 

“More or less.” He replied, fiddling with the cap. He looked up at Connor with nervous eyes. “Listen, I’m a… I’m clean, and-”

 

“Me, too. So can we?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah.” 

 

Evan hopped back up on the bed and parted Connor’s legs. The brunet eagerly spread them and let his head fall back on the downy pillows. Evan made quick work of fingering him open, watching for whenever Connor would wince or groan in pain. He would allow him to adjust before scissoring his fingers and trying to find that one spot that would make Connor moan in delight. He know he’d found it when Connor tensed and breathed out sharply, clutching deliciously around his fingers. Perfect. 

 

Bracing himself above Connor, he looked into his eyes as he slowly pushed in. Connor held tightly to his shoulders until Evan bottomed out, the blond panting from holding back. Connor was shaking slightly, not used to the feeling of being so full. It had been ages since he had bottomed, but he wasn’t totally opposed to the feeling. Maybe it was just because it was Evan, who he trusted and cared for and lov-

 

Nope. Not thinking about the ‘ _l-word’_ right now. 

 

Connor pushed it to the back of his head and into the box that rarely saw the light of day. Now was not the time to have an existential crisis about his feelings when he had a handsome man panting above him. He nodded to the blond to continue, and Evan gave an experimental thrust. 

 

Connor moaned and clenched around Evan, who cried out and pillowed his head into Connor’s shoulder. He began moving in short, shallow movements, trying to allow Connor to adjust to his girth. Connor panted and hugged the blond to his chest to use as a lifeline. He feared that if he released his grip on Evan, he’d float away. He needed Evan’s full weight on him. The brunet wrapped his legs around Evan’s waist and dug his heels into the small of his back. The blond yelped and gave a sharp cant of his hips. 

 

“Evan!” Connor yelled as his eyes rolled back into his head. Evan had accidentally hit his prostate, and Connor couldn’t be more grateful. The blond smiled against Connor’s shoulder and began pummeling that spot every time he thrusted, causing Connor to become a whining, whimpering mess. Evan grabbed ahold of his hips and lifted, readjusting the angle to better please the brunet. 

 

“Evan! God, yes! Right there!” He yelled, clawing down the blond’s back. Evan groaned and thrusted harder, biting a trail up Connor’s neck. “G-Gonna cum…” He murmured, canting his hips. Connor moaned in agreement.

 

Connor came with a cry of Evan’s name on his tongue. He hadn’t been expecting Evan to reach down and give his cock a hard pull. Pearly trails coated his chest and chin. He clenched tightly around the blond, and Evan came seconds later. He fell against Connor’s chest, burrowing deeper into his shoulder. The brunet panted and hugged him closer. 

 

Pushing a stray hair behind Evan’s ear, he kissed his brow tenderly. 

 

“Well, that was unexpected, but I’m definitely not complaining.” He said teasingly. He yelped when Evan lightly bit a pre-existing mark. The couple laid in silence, the heat of the moment turning into a warm, calming afterglow. 

 

Connor hated to get up, but his cum was starting to dry and make his skin inch uncomfortably. He shoved at Evan’s shoulders to get him to sit up, as well. The blond groaned and rolled over onto his back. Connor chuckled and walked toward to the bathroom to retrieve some tissues. Evan didn’t even try to keep his eyes from ogling the scratch marks trailing down Connor’s back.

 

* * *

 

“I could be sitting at my desk filing reports right now, but no. I j-just had to let Connor convince me that surfing was a good idea. Live a little, he says! Sure, accounting isn’t the most exciting activity in the world, but at least mathematics and numbers don’t try and knock you out of your chair and drown you.” Evan muttered as his surfboard bounced against the calm water. Connor rolled his eyes, having not heard what Evan said as he had paddled out a few yards.

 

 

“I have no idea what you just said, but I’m sure it was insulting. Come on! We watched at least three YouTube videos about this, we’re practically experts at this point.” Connor yelled, his mouth curling up into a smirk. Evan rolled his eyes but paddled out to join his boyfriend. 

 

“You can explain to Zoe why the Coast Guard had to fish my body out of the water.” Connor laughed and splashed the salty water up at Evan’s face. 

 

“You’re not gonna drown, this is perfectly safe.”

 

“We didn’t even sign any wavers-”

 

“Wavers are for cowards and amateurs.” 

 

“I-I don’t think that’s a good way to look at things-” 

 

“Hey, things could be worse. I could have taken you to Colorado and made you snowboard-” 

 

“Or you could have taken me to a nice spot on the beach and we could be relaxing-” 

 

“Boring.” Connor replied and took on a wave, wasting no time in hopping on the board and expertly surfing the rapid water. Evan stared in amazement. Of course Connor wasn’t scared, he had obviously mastered the art long before Evan came into the picture. He splashed back to Evan with a wild smile on his face. Evan rolled his eyes but placed a kiss to the side of his lips. 

 

“Showoff.” He murmured. Connor rolled his eyes and urged Evan into the oncoming waves with little bouts of encouragement. 

 

The following three minutes happened in a blur. Evan remembers the waves lapping at his board, and Connor shouting for him to mount it. He remembers shakily balancing on the wood, and the overwhelming feeling of excitement at not crashing back down into the water. He remembers crashing back down into the water four seconds after that. He couldn’t complain much, though. His boyfriend had swam over and pulled him from the water and onto his board. Evan had grumbled angrily, but quickly lost his steam as Connor began trailing kisses down his neck and chest. 

 

After that terrifying ordeal, Evan was content to bob on his board as Connor rode wave after wave, expertly weaving in and out of the water. His hair was wet against his pale skin and his brows were knit in concentration. It suited the brunet, all charm and charisma. 

 

When Connor had tired himself out, the two retired to the bar the designer had mentioned. It was an upscale restaurant and bar that boasted of an outdoor deck with a view of the sunset and beach. The cocktail waitress had just walked away with their orders when a feminine voice interrupted the quiet atmosphere. 

 

“Connor?” The man in question turned in shock. He knew that voice.

 

“Mom?!” 

 

“M-Mom?”

 

“Connor!” 

 

“Dad?”

 

“D-Dad?!” 

 

“Well, that explains all the extra suitcases at the house.” Larry said, raising a knowing eyebrow in Connor’s direction. Evan had never seen Connor blush outside of heated moments in the bedroom, so seeing the color spread across his pale cheeks had Evan internally panicking. 

 

_‘Shit, did his parents notice all the clothes on the floor, too? Can they see the hickies on Connor’s neck? They’re gonna know it was me, and then they’ll think I’m some weird, perverted dude who’s trying to feel up their son, and then they’ll never invite me over for Christmas dinner, and Zoe’s gonna hate me because she keeps mentioning how she wants me to come over for Christmas dinner-’_

 

“Oh, Connor! Who’s this handsome boy?” Cynthia asked gleefully, eyeing Evan who was blushing profusely and trying his best to disappear. Connor scoffed and wrapped a protective arm around the blond’s waist.

 

“Evan’s twenty-eight, mom, pretty sure that makes him a ‘handsome _man_.’” Connor’s mother laughed good-naturedly and shook her head.

 

“So, you’re the man Connor’s been trying to hide from us. You know, if it weren’t for his sister, we’d have no idea that you even existed.” Evan looked up and met her brown eyes, making a quick assessment of the woman. Cynthia was of average height, with honey-red hair and a kind smile. The accountant gave a small smile and stood to extend his hand in greeting.

 

“I-It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Murphy. I’m Evan Hansen, but I guess you already knew that because of Zoe, so…” He petered off. Cynthia waved off his formal greeting and went in for a full fledged hug. The blond tensed in surprise before politely returning the embrace. The woman pulled back with a smile.

 

“It’s just so nice to finally meet you. Larry and I thought we’d never get to meet Connor’s new boyfriend, and it’s been so long since he’s brought anyone home to meet us-” 

 

“Mom!” Connor hissed, trying to stop her tirade. Cynthia simply rolled her eyes and looked at her husband, who was eyeing Evan as if he were an artifact in a museum. 

 

“Larry.” She said, shooting a glance between Evan and her husband. The man extended his hand toward the accountant.

 

“It’s nice to meet you, son. Larry Murphy.” He said. Evan stiffly took his hand and tried to maintain the intense eye contact with Larry. The blond pulled his hand away as soon as was socially acceptable, trying to deduce what was going through the man’s head. 

 

Larry didn’t seem outright malicious, per say. Maybe uncomfortable? Connor hadn’t bothered to discuss his family life with Evan, only mentioning small tidbits of his home life here and there. From what the blond had been able to piece together, it had taken Connor’s father more time than most to understand that mental illness was a serious medical issue that needed help and support. He had eventually given in and gotten the brunet the medical attention and therapy he needed, but it had taken a suicide attempt and a lot of tears to make it happen. 

 

Though Connor would never have the perfect relationship with his father, the two had spent many years trying to rebuild a broken bond. Larry compromised and stopped trying to impose the good ol’ American boy image he wanted on Connor, and in return, Connor stopped getting high off his ass every day of the week and screaming at his parents. 

 

What had gone from barely being able to be in the same room together had blossomed into civil conversations. It might have helped a little that Connor would call up his father while still in college to discuss the different techniques he had learned in his business classes. Larry would scoff and give his son a lecture on what the real business world looked like. The brunet would humor him and agree, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. Sometimes, Zoe would come over for these phone calls. The brunet would hang up, and the two would imitate Larry, much to their enjoyment. 

 

When Connor’s business really took off, he bought his dad box tickets to a Yankees game. In return, Larry sat through an awkward meet-the-parents date with Connor’s then-boyfriend with minimal rude comments. The two still had their moments, but Connor assumed he couldn’t ask for more. As long as Larry didn’t completely scare Evan off, Connor couldn’t find the anger he had harbored for his father so long ago.

 

“Connor, you don’t know how much of a headache your mother gives me with her complaining about how you kids never tell her anything.” Larry said, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. Cynthia sighed in mock-annoyance and gently slapped her husband’s arm. 

 

“She follows us on social media, isn’t that enough?” Connor chided, his shoulders losing their sharp edges. At Connor’s ease, Evan found himself unwinding as well.

 

“All I ask is that you kids call me every once in a while.” She said, giving Connor a hard look. The brunet laughed and clucked his tongue. 

 

“I called you last week, what are you talking about!” He rebutted. “Speaking of, you didn’t mention that you and Dad were going to take a hop across the North Pacific.” Eyeing his parents warily, Connor took a sip of his brightly colored drink. Cynthia looked befuddled at Connor’s catty remark.

 

“Yes, I did. I called you in between Yoga and lunch to remind you and your sister to forward all the mail to Larry’s office. Were you not listening?” Now, it was Connor’s turn to look confused. 

 

“What were we talking about, before that?”

 

“My bookclub.” 

 

“That’s explains it.” 

 

Connor couldn’t help but mentally hit his head against a wall. Now that he thought about it, he briefly remembers his mother mentioning the trip. He had been too preoccupied with answering his emails to really pay his mother any mind. So, she was the one responsible for planting the Hawaii idea in his head in the first place… He loved and hated her in equal parts for it. 

 

“Oh, Evan. I don’t know how you put up with his sass.” Cynthia remarked, giving Connor’s cheek a pinch. The designer scowled and downed the rest of his drink. Evan blushed at the sudden attention. 

 

“You start to ignore it, after a while.” He joked, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully. To his surprise, Larry barked out a laugh and Cynthia giggled happily. 

 

“Wish I could say the same.” Larry remarked, giving Evan a firm clap on the back. The blond tensed and tried to shrug casually. “So, Evan. How do you feel about baseball?” 

 

The conversation flowed easily after the awkward icebreakers. Evan actually found he enjoyed his time with the Murphy’s. Cynthia’s motherly charm was endearing, even though he couldn’t relate to her gluten free lifestyle and choice of reading material. Larry was polite, if not a bit awkward. It was obvious he had recently come to terms with his son’s sexuality, and meeting the boyfriend of said son was a learning curve for the man. Once Evan got him on a tangent about baseball though, everything went uphill. All the blond had to do was make interested sounds and nod his head in agreement. He even learned the proper way to break in a baseball glove. He wasn’t sure when he’d ever need to use that information, but he stored it away anyway, just in case. 

 

“Shaving cream, rubble bands, mattress, repeat. That’s how my father taught me, and now that’s how you can teach your own kids.” Larry concluded, leaning back in satisfaction. Cynthia clapped her hands together, as if remembering something important.

 

“Speaking of, have you and Connor discussed children, yet?” She asked excitedly. Connor blanched and went pale. Evan, who had been taking a sip of his drink, sputtered and quickly wiped his chin with a napkin. 

 

“Mom!” Connor yelled, cheeks tinted pink. 

 

“D-Don’t you think it’s a little early to discuss having kids? I-I-I mean, we aren’t even married, yet!” Evan stuttered, holding his hands up complacently. Wait. _Yet?!_

 

He looked at Connor from the corner of his eyes. He looked pale, blue eyes wide and worried. It made the color against his cheeks stand out all the more. Evan felt his stomach bottom out. 

 

_“Mom.”_ Connor growled, a curtain of hair falling in front of his eyes. Cynthia didn’t notice Connor’s distress, plowing on with her questioning. 

 

“Oh, Connor! You remember the Harris’ daughter, Bridget? She got married about a month ago in Seattle. It was beautiful, very outdoors-y. Have you and Evan put any thought into a destination wedding?”

 

_“Mom!”_  

 

“I know California is beautiful this time of year, and they have the best scenery! Larry, where did the Johnson’s boy get married? I can shoot his mother a text, she’s in my cooking class, she can give me the address of where they said their vows-”

 

_“MOM!”_ Connor yelled, silencing his mother. Cynthia immediately deflated, lowering his hands to her lap. Connor immediately felt guilty. He turned toward Evan, who looked shell shocked. The brunet placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

 

“Evan, can you get us another round of drinks?” He asked, begging with his eyes. 

 

“S-Sure…” Evan mumbled, practically sprinting from the table. Once the blond was out of earshot, Connor turned pleading eyes on his parents. 

 

“Mom, I’m sorry for yelling, but Evan and I have only been dating for a couple of months. We haven’t even had the _moving-in_ talk. If you can nix the marriage shit, I’ll finance your next vacation home.” Cynthia frowned but conceded, but not before adding her two-cents. 

 

“I didn’t mean to presume, honey. It’s just that watching you two interact, I just assumed you two were pretty serious about each other.” Connor raised on eyebrow, signally for her to continue. “Connor, I’ve never seen you act this way around anyone. Now, I won’t go into it and embarrass you, but… Evan balances you out. I think you found your other half.” Connor’s face felt hot. He thanked his lucky stars that Evan chose that moment to return with four glasses. 

 

The conversation was pretty low-key after that, Cynthia staying far away from any relationship talk. The sun sank below the horizon and Evan found himself leaning heavily against Connor, the alcohol and jet lag finally catching up to him. His boyfriend noticed, as he wished his parents goodnight and gave them a promise to meet up, again. Cynthia and Larry had agreed to stay at a hotel instead of the house, so Connor counted his blessings. 

 

As the couple walked down the beach toward their house, Connor contemplated apologizing to Evan on behalf of his parents. 

 

“Hey…” He murmured, squeezing the blond’s hand. Evan stopped and turned, looking at Connor with shining eyes. “My parents love you, you know that, right?” Evan’s eyebrows shot to his hairline. 

 

“Really?!” He said, trying to keep the surprise out of his voice. 

 

“Yeah, you’re adorable, who wouldn’t? Plus, you got brownie points for listening to Larry ramble on about baseball. You have more patience than I do.” 

 

“Well, when you deal with Jared for most of your life, you wouldn’t make it through without that particular virtue.” Connor chuckled and pulled Evan into a gentle kiss. The blond tried to hide how much that information made his chest feel warm and fuzzy. 

 

They walked in comfortable silence, the cool water nipping at their toes. When they reached their house, Connor retired to the bathroom to shower while Evan checked his phone. His good mood was quickly spoiled by the email from Jared, which was forwarded from one of his accountants. It was a financial report, showing a drop in stocks from the big box stores. 

 

“Shit…” Evan mumbled, worrying his lower lip. 

 

“Ev?” Connor asked, towel drying his hair as he walked toward the bed. Evan turned and quickly threw his phone on the bed. 

 

“Y-Yeah?” He said quickly, worrying in dress shirt with his fingers. 

 

“You okay?” Connor asked, running slightly damp hands down the blond’s arms. Evan did his best to make eye contact with Connor. He would not let work interfere with this vacation. This wonderful vacation that Connor had payed for them to go on. This amazingly fantastical vacation that Connor orchestrated to make Evan’s stress dissipate. 

 

No. He would not let work ruin his first real vacation with a lover.

 

“Ya. Just a…meme from Jared that was in bad taste.” He mumbled, looking down at their interlocked hands. Connor clearly didn’t buy it, but didn’t push the blond to talk if he didn’t want to. If Evan wanted to talk about it, he’d talk about it. He tried not to let that sting. 

 

“Let’s not talk about Jared while I’m standing in front of you in nothing but a towel.” 

 

“Alright, let’s not talk about Jared and you take the towel off?” Evan murmured, voice low and suggesting. Connor huffed and let the towel fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't come for me, I believe that Larry can be a good dude.... maybe... he's a three dimensional character... #TeamLarry 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the long chapter and Dom!Evan. I'm not sure if i like how this chapter turned out, but hopefully it was entertaining for you guys. :)
> 
> As always, you're beautiful and have a bomb ass week.
> 
> Fan Art is by reallifeninarosario on tumblr! plz head over and follow and share the love because it's beautiful!


	12. Back So Soon?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys' vacation takes a turn for the worse.

Connor must have been a mindreader, because there was no other reasonable explanation. 

 

He must have invaded Evan’s thoughts while he was sleeping, picking apart his brain until he found the little box marked _‘Things To Do After Evan Gets Out Of School.’_ There was no other way the brunet could have known that Evan had always wanted to learn to sail. 

 

Or maybe it was all one big coincidence and Connor only chose the activity because it was something romantic to do in Hawaii. 

 

Whatever the reasoning, it made Evan’s heart flutter as he watched Connor expertly man the sails and navigate the calm waters. When he had the small boat configured the way he wanted, he tied the sails up and took a seat next to the blond. Evan smiled and handed him a bottle of beer. Connor grinned and took a swig before setting it on the side of the boat and pulling the blond into his side. The brunet politely ignored the way Evan sighed dreamily and nuzzled into his neck. 

 

“If I had taken you sailing on our first date, would you have been totally smitten and asked me to be your boyfriend then and there?” Connor asked, giving Evan’s side a playful squeeze. The accountant huffed out a laugh and rolled his cerulean eyes.

 

“That’s a weirdly specific question, why do you ask?” He answered instead, keeping his eyes glued to the brilliantly blue water. 

 

“Only because you haven’t stopped staring at me with hearts in your eyes since I mentioned sailing this morning at breakfast.” He gave the blond another squeeze. “Figured if there was a faster way to get you into bed, I should file it away for later.” Evan giggled and gave Connor’s chest a playful shove. 

 

“I’ve always wanted to learn to sail, okay?” He said, trying his best to look put off. Connor wasn’t buying it. “Also, what do you mean, _‘Getting me into bed faster?’_ You basically look at me and I….” He blushed, the tips of his ears going red. Being with Connor made the blond more open to discussing sex, but it still caused he cheeks to turn pink and his stomach to flutter excitedly. 

 

Connor admired how cute his boyfriend looked in his loose white V-neck and light blue swim trunks. He’d never admit it to Evan, but part of the reason for bringing him to Hawaii was that the accountant would be kept in a constant state of swimwear. This meant no shirt and easily removable shorts. If they weren't out taking in the sights or relaxing on the beach, they were fucking on any available horizontal surface. Or vertical. Connor wasn’t picky. They basically christened every surface in the vacation home, not to mention the beach down the street. Connor’s particular favorite was receiving a blowjob in a bathroom before their main entries came out. 

 

The designer feared that if they kept it up, neither would be able to sit on the plane for the flight home. 

 

“I what?” He goaded, kissing the seam of Evan’s mouth. 

 

“You do that thing with your eyebrows, where you crease them together because you’re clearly thinking through every option and accessing the best one, and I can tell when you figure it out, because you raise your left one and your eyes kind of sparkle, because you already know how I’ll react before I do… that’s so weird that I’m talking about your eyebrows, I’m so sorry!” He replied, ducking his head and biting his lip.  Connor tensed. He knew Evan was introverted, preferring to watch rather than interact. It still surprised him how observant the blond was, though. He clearly wasn’t giving his boyfriend the credit he deserved. It was pretty touching, actually, knowing that Evan cared enough to study him and his facial ticks. 

 

Bringing his thumb to Evan’s lip, he gently pulled his bottom lip from his teeth. Connor leaned in and brought their lips together in a lazy kiss. 

 

“Totally not weird.” He murmured as he pulled back, watching as the blond’s eyes fluttered. “Pretty flattering, actually.” Evan smiled and mumbled out a thank you. “So, you wanna learn to sail, or do we want to keep discussing all the weird shit I apparently do with my face?” The accountant laughed and Connor was fairly sure he heard Evan mutter something about how he liked his face, but he soon found himself teaching Evan how to man the sails and steer the boat. 

 

Evan’s smile could rival the Hawaiian sun itself. He laughed freely as the boat rocked back and forth, Connor yelling instructions from the starboard. If Evan could stay in this moment for forever, he’d be perfectly content to relive it everyday. 

 

Not that the other days on the island hadn’t been just as amazing. The couple had been making their way through the island, trying out the top rated restaurants and bars along the coast. When they weren’t being treated to the final delicacies, Connor would drag Evan from one activity to another. Evan was having a hard time keeping track of everything. If they weren’t at the beach, they were exploring trails. If they weren’t exploring the trails, they were learning to dance with the natives. And if they weren’t learning to dance, they were ravishing each other. _Speaking of ravishing…._

 

The couple returned from their sailing excursion, sun-burned and smiling. Connor unlocked the door to their home and gave Evan’s bottom a squeeze as he walked past. The blond looked back with a heated stare and pulled Connor in by the collar, the door slamming shut behind them. 

 

Their lips met with fever, tongues gliding easily against each other and teeth nipping eagerly. Connor took Evan’s bottom lip in his teeth and bit down gently, causing the blond to moan and draw the other man in by the hips. He ran a hand through Connor’s hair and gave a tentative pull. Shaking his head, Connor took ahold of Evan’s shoulders and shoved. Before Evan could worry about the fact that Connor had pushed him without warning, his back met the plush cushions of the living room couch. The brunet was on top of him in an instant, mouth leaving wet kisses against his heated skin. He yelped when Connor accidentally bit too hard against his reddening skin, but was quickly silence by a mouth on his. He had just begun to work Connor’s shorts down his thighs when a shrill ringing broke the impassioned scene. 

 

Evan’s eyes went wide and he stared up at Connor in confusion. His boyfriend didn’t look much wiser, lust still clouding his cobalt eyes. Again, the shrill tone penetrated the room. A metaphorical lightbulb popped on in Evan’s head. Groaning, he wiggled himself out from under Connor and stiffly walked toward the kitchen. He tried to ignore the erection rubbing against his shorts uncomfortably and answered his cellphone. Almost immediately, he could hear the sounds of rustling papers and Jared yelling at an unfortunate intern. 

 

“Jared?” He questioned, trying to keep his voice collected. Jared had promised to not to call, barring a major financial meltdown. If _Kleinman Corps._ wasn’t up in flames at that very moment, Evan was going to be very upset that his lustful scene with Connor was ruined all because Jared was bored and wanted someone to talk to. 

 

_“Evan, thank God! We’ve been trying to get ahold of you all day! What, did you throw your phone into the water and say, ‘Fuck you, Jared! I’m getting ass on some tropical beach, who needs to keep in contact with my boss when I could be getting my dick sucked by a KISS reject?’”_

 

“Get to the point, Jared.” Evan growled, gripping the phone tighter than he needed to. He could hear his friend sigh dramatically over the line. 

 

 _“The point is, if you had bothered reading any of your emails or answering any of my texts, you’d know that the economy just went down the shitter, and we need all hands on deck to unclog it.”_ Evan’s knuckles went white where he was gripping his phone. 

 

“W-What?! Y-You need me to come back right n-now?” He sputtered. This piqued Connor’s attention, who up until that point had been sitting impatiently on the couch. The lanky man stood and approached the blond, trying to wrap his arms around his waist to get a better spot to listen in on the conversation. Evan resisted, brushing off his boyfriend’s advances and walking into the other room. Evan shut the door, and Connor could make out the muffled voice of Evan as he tried to argue with his boss. 

 

For what felt like ages, Connor paced the floor and eyed the occupied room with caution. Finally, the door handle turned and a harried looking Evan stepped out, face red and eyes watery. The brunet was instantly on him, holding him close as the blond buried his face into the crook of Connor’s neck. He could feel Evan’s shoulders shake as a wet spot began to soak through the fabric of his shirt. Knowing his boyfriend wasn’t ready to talk about whatever had transpired during the phone call, he gently maneuvered Evan to the couch and let him take his time to work through his frazzled emotions. 

 

Evan pulled back and sniffled, his eyes red-rimmed and his face blotchy. Connor felt something tight constrict his chest and he gently brushed the remaining few tears away. Evan leaned into his hand and closed his eyes, his long lashes clumping together with moisture. With a shaky breath, he finally opened his eyes and met Connor’s. The brunet could see more tears forming. 

 

“P-Please don’t be m-mad…” He pleaded, more tears sparkling as they fell from his azure eyes. 

 

 _‘I could never be mad at you… Jared, on the other hand…’_ Connor thought ruefully. “I won’t get mad, just tell me what’s got you so upset.” He said, trying his best to sound sincere. Connor’s stomach dropped, already knowing that whatever Evan was going to tell him was going to wreck whatever relaxing feelings the island had created. 

 

“I-I’m so s-sorry, but we need to g-go b-back to New Y-York. There are p-problems at work that they n-need me to be there f-for.” He said, cursing how prominent his stutter had become. He dared to look at Connor, who looked absolutely shell shocked. Evan’s heart sank.

 

_‘Stupid, stupid, stupid! You were having the best week of your life, and now your relationship is going to end up mirroring the economy and crashing because Connor will realize how demanding your job is and break up with you, damn, damn, damn!_

 

Evan watched as Connor’s cheeks colored with rage. His eyes closed and he breathed deeply out of his nose, trying to clamp down on his mounting anger. The blond subtly moved backwards on the couch, trying to give Connor his space. When he finally opened his eyes, Evan cowered at the intensity of his gaze. 

 

“We need to go back?” He asked stoically, trying to keep his voice level. Evan could only nod, words failing him. Connor nodded and yanked a hand through his tangled hair. “Right this second?” He seethed, deserting his position on the couch to grab a liquor bottle from the kitchen. Evan watched with mounting horror. 

 

 _‘This is all my fault, why did I let Zoe convince me this vacation was a good idea?’_ Evan’s thoughts spiraled. _‘Jared told me not to go, and I still went, and he was right and now Connor’s mad-’_

 

“N-Not this second, but p-preferably soon because Jared’s probably stressed out already and yelling at the interns and the accountants I supervise are g-going to need some direction so I should be there to supervise and I m-mean we only have about three days of vacation left, so w-we aren’t really cutting the vacation completely, but-”

 

“Evan, just _stop_.” 

 

His mouth snapped shut and his hands started to pull at the hem of his shirt, something he hadn’t done all week. Connor instantly noticed the tick and threw the bottle to the floor. It shattered with a satisfying crash. Getting drunk wasn’t going to rectify the situation, and Evan didn’t need to see that part of himself, anyways. He looked up to see Evan’s eyes go wide with fear.

 

“Evan, I didn’t mean to…It’s not because of you…” He mumbled, leaning heavily against the island. Running shaking hands down his face, he tried to do some more breathing exercises. 

 

“N-N-No, it’s it’s it’s f-fine.” Connor didn’t need to look up to know Evan was crying again. 

 

 _‘Fuck. I ruined this, I fucking ruined this like I knew I would. I’ve hurt him, the last thing I wanted to do was fucking hurt him.’_ Connor thought, his body sinking into a bar stool. He let his head thud against the countertop. The marble was cool against his heated skin, calming him slightly. 

 

“Go and pack, I’ll take care of the plane tickets.” He muttered. Evan’s soft footsteps faded into the bedroom. 

 

* * *

 

The plane ride back had been…awkward, to say the least. Even with the hustle and bustle of the airport, there was still a palpable silence between the couple. Neither knew quite how to break the tension. Evan was afraid of earning more of Connor’s ire and angering him further, while Connor was afraid of frightening Evan more than he already had. He didn’t trust his words to come out as anything other than cutting, so he kept his mouth clamped shut. 

 

When the airplane had taken off, instead of searching for Connor’s hand like he usually would, Evan turned his music up as loud as it would go and clamped his hands tightly around the arm rests. The brunet took note but didn’t comment.

 

Evan couldn’t express his immense relief of opening the door to his apartment and falling onto his bed. He heard soft footsteps pad behind him and the mattress dip as a body joined him. Connor lay stiffly, not quite sure if Evan would appreciate his touch at the moment. Deciding to take his chances, he placed a delicate hand on the blond’s back and gave it a tentative rub. Evan breathed deeply and let himself sink into the touch. Connor’s heart leapt into his throat and he melded himself the him. 

 

Once the initial anger had subsided after learning his vacation was going to end prematurely, Connor had felt so guilty for snapping at Evan that he had barricaded himself on the front porch of the vacation home with a bottle of liquor in his hand. 

 

This is why he had sworn off relationships. All he did was lash out and hurt the ones he cared about. Zoe could attest to that. He had tormented her endlessly in their teenage years with his bouts of rage. He’d shout at her until he was red in the face and she had tears wetting her cheeks. Now he was doing the same to Evan. Yelling and shouting and letting his anger get the better of him. Evan would come to his senses and realize the mistake he was making with Connor. The brunet gulped and buried his nose into Evan’s neck. His head hurt. Maybe he should apologize, beg Evan to see past his angry exterior. 

 

But Evan was warm and lying so peacefully that Connor couldn’t bring himself to break the silence. 

 

Connor must have drifted off to sleep, because the next thing he knows, he was being rudely awoken by a ringing of a phone. Evan shifted next to him and sleepily made a grab for his cell. He could hear mumbling through the phone, and suddenly the blond was up and putting his pants on. 

 

“Ev?” He mumbled, voice thick with sleep. The blond looked back with a guilty look on his face. 

 

“That was Jared. He looked at his SnapMap and saw that I was back in New York. He wants me to come in.” He replied, running a heavy hand down his face. Connor frowned. 

 

“He can’t give you a day to sleep off the jet leg?” At Evan’s sad look, Connor buried his face back into the pillow. “You really need to turn off your SnapMap.” When Evan didn’t respond, Connor peeked out from under his pillow. “What’s so important that they need you to leave your vacation early and can’t even give you a day to recover?” He accused. The blond could feel himself begin to perspire. 

 

Connor still looked visibly angry at the reminder of their hellish day, the last thing he’d want to hear about was Jared’s company facing possible financial ruin. Evan would start to panic and Connor would panic because Evan was panicking and he didn’t want to put that on Connor’s shoulders. Not when the brunet tried to do something nice for Evan by taking him on vacation, only to have it end in shambles. 

 

Evan shook his head and buttoned his pants. “Just some hiccups in the economy, nothing major…. well, major enough that I- we! - we had to come back early.” He said as he ran a hand through his hair to try and tame his bedhead. 

 

“Fine.” Connor said, his head dropping back into the pillow. Why Evan felt like he could never admit what was stressing him about his job, Connor would never know, and that not knowing was eating him from the inside out. What, did Evan think Connor wouldn’t be able to help him? He had a Master’s in Business, for Christ’s sakes! He refrained from harping at the blond, though. He already had his angry outburst in Hawaii, a second one would surely drive Evan away. 

 

“Y-You can stay, if you want… I’ll be back around eight, if you’re still here…” Evan sighed, making his way to the front door of his apartment. 

 

He didn’t hear a response from Connor as he made his way into the bustling city streets.

 

* * *

 

“Life is bitch slapping us with a raw salmon, right now.” Jared yelled, waving his hands around for affect. Alana groaned in agitation as she read through some papers in front of her. 

 

“That’s not an expression, nor is it appropriate to the situation.” She bit back, eyes raking over the documents. Zoe placed a hand on her thigh and squeezed. Alana continued reading, but the crease between her brows smoothed. Evan watched with a forlorn expression. He wished he could be that open with Connor about his anxieties over work. He pushed those thoughts as far away as he could, not wanting to deal with the downward spiral his relationship seemed to be in at the moment. Returning his eyes to his laptop, he looked over the company’s financial records.

 

The four had been in the same conference room for over three hours, pouring over documents and trying to interpret the mess that had fallen into their laps. Due to the massive funding of the new technology line, most of their products were already made. This meant that Jared couldn’t cancel production and save the project for a time when the economy was in a better financial standing. The new line was already doing poorly, sales decreasing daily. Evan wanted to bang his head against a wall. They had yet to come up with a better solution besides budget cuts and downsizing. 

 

“Evan, you got anything helpful? Maybe something other than the new sex positions you learned from our resident tortured artist?” Jared asked, making Evan look up from his laptop in embarrassment. Zoe frowned and went to defend her brother’s honor, but Alana beat her to it. 

 

“Jared, I know you’re stressed, but taking it out on Evan isn’t going to solve our current predicament.” Jared grumbled but apologized. Evan quickly accepted the apology and turned his laptop toward the group. He could see the sweat marks his hands had left on the keys. He tried to subtly wipe at them as the group gazed at his screen. Jared’s eyes roamed over the screen as he took in everything Evan had found. For the past two hours, the blond had been reexamining the budget and finding places the company could squeeze some money back into it’s system. As much as Evan didn’t want to have it come down to, the company would be firing some of it’s employees, as well as other’s having to take a pay cut. 

 

“I made a list of possible places where we can save costs, maybe even start working on the long term impacts, too-”

 

He just hoped they wouldn’t find-

 

“Holy shit, is that how much I’m paying Murphy?” Zoe raised a confused eyebrow. Jared rolled his eyes in exasperation. “Correction, male Murphy, not female.” The assistant nodded and went back to scribbling notes as Alana dictated.

 

“Y-You’re paying for the best designer in New York, so-”

 

“Yeah, but I didn’t think we payed him the equivalent of a pro athlete. Jesus, no wonder he can drive that Rolls Royce around New York and be able to afford the insurance for it.” 

 

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

 

“What are you saying?” The CEO looked apologetically at Evan. 

 

“It’s just business, Ev. If I can find someone to do what Connor does, but cheaper, I’m going to. I don’t have that great of options right now.” 

 

_Oh, no._

 

“He’s not going to be the only one getting fired, you know that, right?” Jared asked. 

 

_But, Connor-_

 

“Sorry, Evan. I like Connor, I really do, but I’ve gotta put the company first. You understand, right?”

 

_No, not really-_

 

“I understand.” 

 

“Good. Keep working through the budget. Just give it to Alana when you’re done. I’m going to grab us some pizza and Monster. We’re gonna be here for the next couple of hours.” 

 

When Evan returned to his apartment that night, Connor was nowhere to be seen. It was like he hadn’t ever existed, the bed made neatly and the lights turned off. The blond threw himself on the bed and yelled into his pillow. When that got exhausting and his throat stung, he quickly changed into his sleep clothes and buried himself under the covers. 

 

Sleep did not come easily. Only in the wee hours of the morning did exhaustion take him, and he drifted in and out of an uneasy rest. 

 

When the blond awoke to apparent bags under his tired eyes, he could briefly recall sunny skies and a beautiful man guiding a boat through the water.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry, I promise they'll actually talk to each other about their problems eventually. I had to torture them a little bit first, tho. ;P 
> 
> College is starting to get busy, so I'm hoping to keep up with the updates for this story. If they're a little late, you understand why! 
> 
> Comments give me life, so if you're bored I'll totally chat with you. ;P
> 
> As always, do what you love and turn your homework in on time! Love you!


	13. I'm In Like With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys make up and Evan drops a bomb neither of them were ready for.

“Ow! Son of a-” Evan cut himself off as the scalding liquid ran down his fingertips. He had been so absorbed in trying to find ways around Connor’s potential firing that he had neglected to notice the quickly filling cup of coffee. Now, he was paying the price as the brown liquid dripped on his dress shoes. 

 

The accountant felt like screaming, like crying, but that wouldn’t do him any good. At best, it would earn him a few startled looks from his coworkers. Evan placed the coffee pot back on the brewer and made quick work of cleaning the table and his shoes. He counted his blessings that the break room was unusually empty and went back to his office. 

 

The harsh ceiling lights reflected off the marble floor as the blond walked, and he tried to ignore his rapidly beating heart. He couldn’t quite place his reasoning, but a voice in the back of his head told him that the other shoe was about to drop. God, he hoped he was just being paranoid and that he was just jumping to conclusions because of the financial mess. 

 

Evan had his office in sight, his name reflected in shiny gold letters. Maybe if he make it back to his office without interruption, he could have his tiny breakdown and then get back to work. 

 

He could pretend everything was peachy at his job and that he and his boyfriend hadn’t spoken since Tuesday. 

 

He swore he could hear angels sing as his hand grazed the cool metal handle when a voice from down the hall broke the easy silence. 

 

“Evan, Jared wants to see you!” Zoe yelled, not bothering to keep her voice at a respectable level. The blond felt his face pale and his palms begin to sweat. Shit, was this it? He forced his legs to move, but Zoe met him halfway.

 

“Hey, you aren’t looking so hot.” She said as soon as Evan was in earshot. She placed a cool hand against his forehead, and Evan relished in the chill. “Are you sick or something?” She questioned, pushing his fridge back into place. The blond bit his lip and sucked in a shaky breath. “I can tell Jared you’re out to lunch if you need a couple of minutes to…” She made a vague motion with her other hand. Evan quickly captured both of her hands in his, trying to form a coherent sentence that would explain his sudden panic. 

 

“No, I’m good, I- ah…” She gazed up at him imploringly. “Stress.” He said, shaking his head and trying to downplay his reaction. Zoe didn’t look convinced, but she didn’t question him further. She gave his hand a comforting squeeze. 

 

“Jared’s kind of in a bad mood today, are you sure you want to deal with that?” Evan contemplated her words. “We can always send Alana in, you know. Jared won’t be happy about it, but he knows better than to fight her.” 

 

“Okay… Out of curiosity, why’s he mad?” Evan asked, swinging their interlocked hands back and forth as they walked. 

 

“The interns are more scared of Alana than they are of Jared, and he doesn’t know how to deal with it.” Evan laughed, maybe the first genuine sound from him in days. 

 

“Why would they be scared of Alana? She’s nice to everyone, I can’t see her saying anything even remotely mean to them.” Evan explained, making Zoe’s face light up. 

 

“I know how great she is, Ev, you don’t have to tell me.” She gushed. Evan gave her the side eye, hoping that maybe she’d finally admit that the two were dating. Zoe practically read his mind and rolled her eyes in annoyance. 

 

“Anyways?” 

 

 

“Anyways, Jared made a comment about how Alana could get away with murder and make it look easy, and I guess there’s a rumor going around now that Alana has a book full of places to hide bodies and how to clean up a crime scene, stuff like that.” She bumped shoulders with the man as he shook with laughter. Evan ran a hand through his short hair as his giggles subsided. 

 

“Who came up with that?” 

 

“One of the Heather’s, probably. For HR reps, they sure like causing trouble.” Evan nodded in agreement as they came up on Jared’s office. Zoe released her hold on Evan’s hand and turned to give the blond one last look. “You sure you’re good?” 

 

“Y-Yeah, I’ll be okay. I’ve dealt with worse things than Jared.” He mumbled, a picture of his Connor-less bed appearing in his mind’s eye. He turned to open the door.

 

“Wait!” Zoe turned him back around and straightened his tie. “Okay, perfect. And if he gives you a hard time, tell him I’ll release his drunk texts to everyone in his email contacts.” Evan smiled and pulled her into a hug. 

 

“Thanks, Zoe.” He murmured into her ear before releasing her. She gave him a smack on the butt as he walked in, and he tried not to blush. 

 

Jared was seated at his desk, face grim. Evan gulped and took a seat in front of his friend.  The CEO looked him up and down.

 

“You look like shit, man.” 

 

“Thank you, Jared.” He didn’t try to hide the annoyance in his voice. 

 

“Connor keeping you up all night?” Evan tried not to let that comment sting. His friends had no idea that the two hadn’t spoken in the last couple of days. He fought back his tears and fidgeted with the end of his tie. 

 

“N-Not lately, no.” 

 

“Hmm, maybe having to look into your innocent doe eyes while he takes you in the missionary position is making him lose his touch-”

 

“Jared, I’m not discussing this with you!-”

 

“I never said you had to, but your bedroom activities aren’t what I wanted to talk to you about.” Pushing his chair back from the oak desk, Jared got up and rounded the corner to sit on the edge. Evan looked up with a questioning eyebrow as his friend unbuttoned his suit jacket.

 

“I know you feel…weird, about this whole ‘firing Connor’ thing.” He used his fingers to form air quotes around the words. Evan rolled his eyes. Of course he’d feel weird about that! “Okay, so  
I know this is kind of against protocol, but I’m the boss, so fuck it.” 

 

Evan made a mental tally of the amount of times Jared mentioned he was ‘the boss’ in the past month. So far, he was up to seven.

 

“If you want, you can give Connor a heads up on what’s going to happen. It might sound better coming from you. Plus, I don’t want to end up with a horse head in my bed, that seems like something he’d do.” Evan felt his face pale further, if that were possible. Tell Connor he was getting fired? He was positive the first thing Connor wouldn’t want him to say after his radio silence was, _‘Hey, on top of our crumbling relationship, you’re also losing your job!’_ Jared misinterpreted the look, thinking the accountant was hung up on the horse head.

 

“Come on, Godfather reference? _‘I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse?’”_ At Evan’s blank stare, Jared threw his hands up in frustration and returned to his desk chair. “Just think about it, okay?” Evan nodded mutely and excused himself as quickly as he could. He rushed back to his office to take solace before anyone could stop him. 

 

What the hell did Jared expect him to do?! Would Connor even want to hear something like that from him, anymore? Would he get angry and tell Evan he never wanted to see his stupid face again? God, Evan didn’t think he’d be able to deal with Connor telling him he never wanted to see him, again. 

 

_‘It’s only been a couple of days, I shouldn’t miss him this much! Why hasn’t he called? Does he not care? Maybe I moved to fast, maybe I’m not that important to him, maybe-’_

 

Evan kicked his chair and sent it careening into the wall. A framed picture fell to the floor, but luckily didn’t break. He sheepishly walked over and rehung the frame before returning his chair to it’s rightful position behind his desk. Sitting down, he pulled out his phone and ran a finger over the screen. 

 

Maybe he’s waiting for me to call? 

 

Before Evan could lose what little nerve he had left, he quickly pulled up Connor’s number and hit call. It ran twice before a slightly breathless Connor answered.

 

“Evan!”

 

“C-Connor, hi! How um, how are you?” 

 

“Uh, okay, I guess… Are you? Okay, I mean.”

 

_No._

 

“Yes. I’m, ah. I’m okay.” 

 

An awkward silence fell between the men, and Evan could hear the rustling of papers in the background. Knowing Connor, he was most likely trying to find something to keep his hands occupied. He did that when he was nervous. 

 

“Listen, Evan… I’m _really_ sorry about Hawaii… I just got so mad about you having to leave early that I kind of just saw red and went with it…” There was more rustling of papers, more insistent this time. “I never wanted you to see that part of me, and then it just came out over something you couldn’t control and _fuck…”_ Connor sounded broken, each laboring breath making something in Evan’s chest constrict. “I didn’t mean to not call you, it’s just, I wasn’t really sure what to say, or if you’d even want to talk to me after the way I behaved but-” A small sniffle escaped, and Evan wasn’t sure if it was him or Connor who was crying at this point. 

 

“I’m sorry, and I miss you?” He finished, the fear of rejection clear in his voice. 

 

“I-I miss you, too. I really fucking miss you.” Evan said, voice breaking at the end of the sentence. He could hear Connor let out a small laugh. 

 

“You must have really fucking missed me, because you never swear.” He said, trying to break the tension. Evan chuckled and buried his head in his hands. 

 

“I did.” A comfortable silence fell between them, Evan content to listen to Connor shuffling papers around his desk. 

 

“So, do you want to get dinner, tonight? Catch up?” Connor suggested, his usual confidence back in place.

 

“I’d like that.” Evan said breathlessly as he perked up from his hands.

 

“Great. I’ll pick you up at six. And wear a pair of walking shoes.” 

 

“Walking shoes? Connor?-”

 

“Six o’clock!” The brunet yelled into the receiver before disconnecting the call. Evan rolled his eyes fondly and gently set his phone on the desk. He felt the tightness that had been in his chest for the past couple of days suddenly loosen. The blond sighed in relief and turned his eyes on his computer. Maybe he could get some work done for a change instead of moping over his boyfriend.

 

* * *

 

A picnic in Central Park. 

 

It was sappy and romantic and cliche, and Evan couldn’t find it in himself to point it out.

 

Connor had shown up at his house at approximately six o’clock. Evan barely had the door open before the brunet was on top of him, kissing whatever exposed skin he could get to. Evan laughed and pushed his boyfriend out of the door and into the streets. The designer only smiled and took Evan by the hand, leading him blindly. 

 

Evan only raised a curious eyebrow when Connor led him through the empty park paths, but didn’t comment as he took in the calming aura of the nature around them. He couldn’t contain the gasp that escaped him though, when Connor led them to a secluded area surrounded by a row of trees. A thick blanket covered the slightly damp grass, a wicker basket placed expertly in the corner. Leading Evan by the hand, he walked up to the blanket and helped the blond take a seat. 

 

“A picnic in the park?” 

 

“Zoe suggested it. I think she’d been saving this idea for Alana, but since those two ‘aren’t dating,’ she said I could bum it off her.” Connor replied. Evan rolled his eyes good-naturedly. 

 

“Wanna guess when they’ll finally admit to dating each other?” Evan joked, running a hand over the soft blanket. Connor chuckled. 

 

“Sure. I’ll bet it’ll be in the next couple of weeks, and in the worst possible way.” He predicted, taking a seat next to the blond. Connor pulled Evan’s hand into his own and began tracing indiscernible patterns. 

 

“What to you mean?” Evan asked as confusion creased his brows. Connor huffed and shook his head.

 

“I have a creepy feeling that Jared’s going to walk in on them making out in the supply closet or something.” He responded. It was Evan’s turn to huff.

 

“They’re too good to make out in a supply closet… Alana’s office, maybe…” Connor chuckled and pulled the blond into a one armed hug, kissing the crease of his lips. 

 

“God, I missed you…” He murmured, voice far too vulnerable. Blushing, the accountant kissed the hinge of Connor’s jaw. 

 

“I-I missed you, too…” He responded, equally as exposed. Evan decided to busy himself with pulling food items from the basket and arranging them in front of Connor. It was enough to snap the brunet out of his stupor, and he helped his boyfriend arrange the rest of the packed dinner. 

 

“I want you to know that I really appreciate all this, but…what is it?” Evan asked, a blush tinting his pale cheeks. Connor smirked, not at all offended by the blond’s confusion. 

 

“Shawarma, it’s a godsend. Dig in, Hansen, or I’m eating yours.” 

 

Evan spent no time digging into his wrap. To his surprise, it was actually quite good. Connor seemed to agree, if his moaning was anything to go by. God, he’d missed hearing those sounds and- no! This was a cute date that his way out-of-his-league boyfriend had been kind enough to create, he was not going to ruin it with an awkward boner. To distract from his sexual frustrations, he struck up a conversation about Connor’s work. 

 

They fell into easy conversation, the blow up in Hawaii a long forgotten memory. Apparently, Connor had just signed on for a big project he wasn’t at liberty to discuss yet, and Evan planted a proud kiss on his lips. The goofy smile he received in return made his insides feel oddly warm. Damn, he shouldn't miss Connor as much as he did, they’d only known each other for a few months, now. The time apart had been torturous to the blond. Then again, he thought Connor was never going to talk to him again, so that might have been a factor. Pushing those thoughts to the side, he helped the brunet make quick work of their food and packed up the blanket into the basket. Connor stealthily hid it behind the tree and took Evan by the hand. 

 

Evan was confused, he hadn’t been expecting a Part 2 to the date. Keeping quiet seemed like the best option, as he didn’t want to ruin the surprise Connor planned. Not that he was especially fond of surprises, they caused his palms to sweat and his anxiety to skyrocket. His boyfriend looked so excited that he could barely contain his smile though, so Evan wiped his hands on his pants and pushed down his mounting stress. 

 

“This is gonna sound super weird, but I need you to trust me, okay? Close your eyes.” Connor said, finally turning back to Evan. The blond didn’t need to be told twice. He closed his eyes and let the brunet lead him blindly down a pathway. If he stumbled on a lose rock, the designer didn’t comment. 

 

Evan felt his feet connect with a hard surface, a stark contrast to the mushy ground he was used to. Connor guided him up a pair of steps and positioned himself in front of Evan. The blond tried not to let his worry show on his face.

 

“Connor?”

 

“Okay, open your eyes for me, beautiful.” 

 

Evan’s eyes fluttered open softly, and he took a moment to let them adjust to the light. Turning to his left, he could see the finely crafted wooden railing decorated in soft, glowing lights. The lights snaked around the poles and extended into the rafters, casting soft rays on the couple. 

 

A gazebo. 

 

Connor had taken him to a gazebo in Central Park. God, Connor was thoughtful and sweet and overall a nice guy, no matter how much he liked to bitch about how much of an asshole he was, and-

 

“I’m starting to think this might have been too much…” Connor mumbled when Evan had yet to respond. He hoped the brunet would forgive him, he was just too dumbstruck to connect his brain to his mouth.

 

“You…you did all this for me?” He asked quietly, returning his gaze to the slightly nervous man. Connor nodded and placed his arms around the small of Evan’s back, bringing him closer. 

 

“Well, yeah… I know it sounds stupid, but I’d literally jump out in front of a taxi if I thought it would make you smile like that.” He waved a hand at Evan’s face before bringing it to his cheek. Leaning into the warmth, Evan let his eyes flutter shut. 

 

“Please don’t jump in front of a taxi, that’s like, the opposite of what would make me smile.” He responded, looking into Connor’s eyes. Had his eyes always been that pretty? They were a piercing blue with a patch of brown in his right eye. It was totally unfair how pretty his eyes were. 

 

“Good… Honestly, I thought that’s what you’d want after the whole Hawaii thing-”

 

“Connor, I forgave you, you don’t have to bring that up anymore.” The brunet looked relieved as he squeezed Evan’s hips and brought him closer still. “Besides, there are dumber things we could have been arguing about.” 

 

 _‘Like the fact that my boss wants me to let you know about your future unemployment with Kleinman Corps.’_ A snide voice said, causing Evan to pale. He had almost forgotten his initial reason for dialing Connor and calling a truce. Shit, that was not what he wanted to be thinking about, right now. The brunet immediately picked up on the change, and brought Evan’s face closer to his to examine the expression. 

 

“Evan, you look scared.”

 

With the lights reflecting the brown flecks in his eyes, and the moonlight shining off his luminous hair, Evan knew it wasn’t the time to say, _‘Hey, my boss and friend who is also kind of your friend even though you won’t admit it is going to fire you tomorrow, but apparently hearing it from me is going to make the situation all sunshine and rainbows, and we can gather around a campfire after and sing Kumbaya.’_

 

Evan tried not to cringe at his slightly melodramatic train of thought. Connor was staring at him with a weird expression, which wasn’t totally uncommon considering how awkward the blond could be, but this one was different. Connor looked unguarded and… scared? Vulnerable? Now wasn’t the time to be going through the list of adjectives in his head. Connor was staring and he had to say something that would justify the situation and reassure Connor that no matter what happened at work, he would have Evan for as long as he wanted him around, and-

 

“I love you.” 

 

_Fuck. Oh, fuck. FUCK!_

 

Why did he say that? Why on God’s green Earth had he let those words escape his lips? They were true, certainly, but not something he wanted Connor to hear just yet. 

 

“C-Con-Connor?” The brunet looked shellshocked. The color had drained from his face and his eyes were the size of dinner plates. Connor sputtered for a moment, mouth gaping. 

 

“Oh, uhh…” Evan didn’t profess his love to people regularly, but this didn’t seem like a good sign. So, he did what he did best. Word vomit. 

 

“Y-You don’t have to say it back, I just wanted you to know because I really do l-love you and I have for a while and now just seemed like the perfect time to s-say it, but I guess I must have read the situation wrong because you look pretty surprised and I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I-I’m so sorry, Connor, I-I-I-”

 

“Evan.” The authority in his voice was enough to stop his ramblings. Evan looked up into Connor’s slightly misty eyes. “Sorry, I-” He ran a hand through his hair nervously. “I-I just wasn’t expecting it and-” He grumbled and tried to sort his racing thoughts. “You’re the first real relationship I’ve had in God knows how long, so I’m not really used to the whole _L-word_ thing, and…” 

 

Evan sensed where Connor was going. He placed a gentle kiss on the brunet’s lips to keep anymore words from escaping. 

 

“I-I understand.” At Connor’s disbelieving gaze, he continued. “I really do understand. You’re not ready and I’m totally okay with it.” _No, you aren’t._ “I’d, um, never want you to say it unless you meant it… but I meant it… Loving you, I mean…” He trailed off, staring at his shoes. He hadn’t noticed he had been picking at a lose seam on Connor’s shirt, and quickly pulled his hands back. Connor immediately captured both of his shaking ones. 

 

“I really, _really_ like you, it’s just…” 

 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say anymore. I understand. I won’t hate you for it.” Evan said in an uncharacteristically calm voice. Connor nodded, not meeting his eyes. 

 

“I know that’s not what you wanted to hear-” 

 

“Connor, it’s okay. Take your time, I’ll still be here.” He tried to ignore the look Connor gave him which clearly read, _‘Will you?’_

 

“Common, let’s go to that one ice cream shop that reminds you of the one back in your hometown.” Evan said, pulling the brunet away from the lights and the wood and the haunting feelings. Connor followed numbly, before trying to put on a brave face for his boyfriend.

 

“It’s still shit compared to À La Mode, I’ll have to take you there sometime. I’m sure it’ll be soon, my Mom is definitely going to force you to come home for Christmas.” He said, trying to match Evan’s mood. The blond smiled and led Connor back to his apartment. 

 

As they lay in each other’s arms, they tried to pretend that everything was normal. They tried to pretend that sleep came easily that night. They tried to pretend that shit wasn’t about to hit the fan. 

 

They really needed to stop pretending, it was exhausting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me, it's going to get worse before it gets better...


	14. The Worst of Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've seen the worst, now things can only get better, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've reached 420 kudos!!! Thank you so much for your continued support in this story, it means a lot to me. Y'all are the best, I swear. 
> 
> So, in honor of the OG pot smoker Connor Murphy, I'm posting this chapter early. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Has Jared’s office always been this intimidating? Why is the name card causing a ball of anxiety to coil in pit of Evan’s stomach? How can Connor look so damn calm at a time like this?! 

 

Evan wanted to slap himself. Of course Connor was anything but apprehensive, he had no idea what was going to happen once he stepped through the threshold. 

 

The two had been standing outside of Jared’s office for a solid three minutes. Three minutes of Evan sweating and stammering, unable to get a word out, and Connor shooting him worried glances and trying to deduce the problem by sheer mental concentration alone. It probably looked odd to an outsider, because it definitely felt odd to the couple. 

 

Connor seemed to have had enough, because he stopped Evan mid pace to maneuver him so he was facing the brunet. Evan tried to meet his eyes. 

 

“Evan, you look like you’re trying to crawl out of your skin. What’s up?” He asked, hooking a finger under the blond’s chin to force him to meet his eyes. 

 

“Oh, uhm, well… it’s kind of this whole thing and it’s really weird, and-and I-I-”

 

“Evan, breath. You know you can tell me anything.” He said kindly.

 

“Y-Yeah, I-I know, it’s just-”

 

“Connor, I can hear you talking to Evan. Save your dirty talk for when Evan isn’t supposed to be working and get your ass in here!” Jared yelled from behind his door, causing both men to jump and pull away from each other. Connor shot Evan a wink before turning toward the door.

 

“We both know you’re dying to learn about all the ways I’ve corrupted your innocent little accountant!” Evan blushed fiercely and ran his slightly shaking hands down his face. He did not need the whole office getting an earful just because his boss and boyfriend didn’t know how to keep their voices at an indoor level. 

 

“I do not!… But if you write them down and send them to me via email, I’ll definitely take a look.” Jared responded as Connor opened the door and swaggered inside. 

 

“Let me guess, is the account [bathbombs&BDSM@gmail.com](mailto:bathbombs&BDSM@gmail.com)? I’ll have my assistant send it right after the meeting.” 

 

“Ha, you’re a clever one, Murphy. No wonder Evan keeps you around.” Jared replied sassily. Evan couldn’t hear the rest of the conversation as Connor had closed the door behind him. 

 

He felt his anxiety grip him like a vice, his lungs struggling to give him the oxygen he so desperately needed. Feeling lightheaded, he let himself lean back against the wall, knees shaking uncontrollably beneath him. Fearing his legs would give out, he allowed himself to sink to the floor. Evan thanked his lucky stars that there were no employees wandering around, as he didn’t think they’d be prepared to come upon a shaking, sweaty mess. 

 

_‘I should have told Connor about this when I had the chance! No, I shouldn’t of. I’m glad I didn’t. He would have gotten mad… or maybe he would have been a rational adult and thanked me for letting him know. Shit, now he’s going to be mad at me because I didn’t tell him!’_

 

The rational part of his brain reminded him that he would be no good to anyone while he was like this, so he resorted to an old exercise he had used back in high school for when his panic attacks were especially bad. 

 

“Three, six, nine, twelve, fifteen, eighteen…” He mumbled, his breath still coming out in quick secession. He squeezed his hands to the sides of his head. “Twenty-one, twenty-four, twenty-seven…” He continued, on and on, until his breathing was under control and he could feel his limbs again. 

 

Counting the multiples of three were fairly simple for the accountant, considering he was payed to be good at math. To anyone else, it might have seemed like a boring way to spend one’s time, but for Evan, it was a lifesaver. The monotony of it all gave his scattered brain something to focus on, pushing away all other problems besides breathing and counting. 

 

When the worst of the panic attack had faded, Evan allowed himself to lean his head back against the cool wall. 

 

His small reprieve was short lived, as Connor opened the door and sauntered out, looking mildly annoyed. He was about to head toward the elevator when he about tripped over Evan. The blond sprang up from his seated position to steady the brunet. 

 

“Evan! Why are you on the ground?” He ignored the question and launched into his own interrogation. 

 

“Are you mad? How did it go? Please tell me Jared wasn’t too much of an asshole, I told him to be nice!” Evan talked a mile a minute, arms flailing wildly as he tried to articulate his points. Connor laughed and grabbed both of his arms. 

 

“I’m not mad, it went fine, and Jared’s always an asshole, so that’s nothing new.” Connor replied, amusement clear in his voice. Evan couldn’t believe his ears. 

 

“S-So you aren’t mad a-about getting fired?” He questioned, still not quite believing Connor was being so calm about the whole situation. 

 

“Mildly annoyed, maybe, but it’s just business.” He responded wisely. The blond nodded and rubbed circles into Connor’s hands. 

 

And then Evan made the mistake of opening his mouth. 

 

“Thank God. When Jared told me to give you a heads up, I wasn’t sure how to tell you, but I’m glad you’re taking it so well, because I thought you’d be mad at me-” He rambled before Connor cut him off sharply. 

 

“Wait, you knew about this beforehand?” He questioned, his eyes taking on an accusing glint.

 

“Ah, kind of? I mean, Jared might have mentioned it to me, but it wasn’t like he ordered me to tell you or anything-” 

 

“When did he tell you to do this?” 

 

“Uhm, yesterday? Why does it matter?-”

 

“It _matters_ because it sounds like the reason you called me yesterday was to tell me I was getting fired, not to actually make up and try and fix-” He waved a hand between them. “- _this_.” Evan felt the color drain from his face. “But you didn’t know how, so you just… I don’t know, told me what I wanted to hear.” 

 

“N-No, it’s not like that!” 

 

“Oh, it’s not? Then answer me truthfully. Were you actually going to call and try and work out the Hawaii thing, or were you going to mope around until Zoe came and bitched me out for upsetting you?” Evan could only stare silently, too stunned by the turn of events to actually respond. Connor’s words hurt, but they weren’t entirely wrong. If he hadn’t called the brunet yesterday, he wouldn’t have been able to work up the courage to confront Connor about everything. 

 

Connor scoffed at the lack of retort. 

 

“That’s what I thought. Was last night just a pity date, then? Because I’ve been on enough pity dates to last a lifetime. I don’t want another one from you.” 

 

An anger Evan was unfamiliar with boiled in his stomach and out of his mouth before his brain had time to process what he was actually saying. 

 

“Seriously?! You think I would tell you that I loved you out of pity just because I couldn’t figure out how to tell you you were getting fired?!” He shot back, hands gripping the bottom of his suit jacket. Connor took a step back at Evan’s sudden reaction. 

 

“I don’t know, okay! This is so stupid, why are we even fighting over this?!” Connor exclaimed, running his hands through his hair in exasperation. 

 

“Because you’re the one who started yelling!” Evan ironically yelled back.

 

“Yeah, that’s kind of what I do, if you haven't noticed!” Connor spat, the statement more self deprecating than he meant it to be. 

 

Evan felt something snap inside of him. The wall that had been keeping all his insecurities and stress at bay could no longer be contained in his body. There wasn’t a chance in hell that Evan would have been able to reign himself back in before he dug into Connor. He just hoped there wouldn’t be any casualties. 

 

“Oh, my God, can you stop playing the angry, misunderstood philander already?! Do you know how hard it is for me when you point out all the guys you’ve slept with, and t-they’re all tall and handsome and then you tell me you aren’t good at relationships and can’t commit?! Cause it makes me feel pretty shitty about myself, if we’re being honest with each other! I can’t sleep anymore because I feel like you’re two steps away from up and walking out of my life when you realize you can do _so_ _much better_.” 

 

It felt like an out of body experience, almost as if he were looking through a window. No matter how hard he tried to break the glass and stop himself, he couldn’t manage to break through it. Evan felt like an outsider in his own body. His mouth talked a mile a minute, as if he didn’t get all his cards on the table now, it wouldn’t get the chance to say them again.

 

Connor had ceased his agitated fidgeting to stare at Evan with a hurt so profound, it could only come from being told the absolute truth. Evan felt tears prick his eyes. Was it even worth holding them in at this point? 

 

_‘Mom always said that the truth would set you free… well, this doesn’t feel very freeing. Connor looks so hurt, I never wanted to make him look at me like that. His pitying looks I could stomach, but this… this…’_

 

“I wish you would have told me that, instead of keeping it to yourself like you do with everything else.” Connor finally answered, trying to sound accusing. It came out sounding like he was more chastising himself than anything. 

 

“W-What are you saying?” Evan asked, bringing a shaking hand up to scratch at his palm. He felt his blunt nails draw blood, but ignored the prick of pain. 

 

“You know exactly what I’m saying, stop playing the victim!” Connor exclaimed, throwing his arms out wildly. Evan stepped away, back hitting the wall with a solid ‘ _thump.’_

 

“I can see how stressed out you get about work, and every time I try and confront you about it you brush it off and don’t tell me anything.” Connor growled, pacing the floor like a starved animal.

 

“I thought that that was the point of a relationship, to have a partner to share your emotional baggage with. You literally don’t tell me jackshit!” Connor turned burning eyes on the blond. Evan had never seen someone stare at him with such agonized emotion, before. He had to say something, he had to…

 

“Because I’m already enough of a mess with my anxiety, do you think I want to give you another reason to leave by adding my work stress onto that?!” 

 

Connor bellowed, throwing his head back as laughter escaped his throat. It sounded awful. Evan felt a wetness on his cheeks that he hadn’t noticed, and he harshly wiped at his face. 

 

“You need to take me off the pillar you have me on, Hansen, because I’m just as fucked up and broken as you are.” He moved closer to Evan until he had him pinned against the wall, arms bracketing his head. Evan couldn’t help it, he cowered. Connor was a good few inches taller, and it reminded Evan of a cat who had cornered a mouse. 

 

“I’ve tried to ignore the voices that tell me I’m still a no good punk that ruins everything he touches, but I guess that doesn’t really matter at this point, does it?” He spat, the venom in his voice clear as day. Evan couldn’t hold in the whimpers that escaped his mouth. God, he was pathetic, but then again, so was Connor.

 

“So, here it is, you’re seeing the worst of me. Take it all in.” He growled, bringing his face closer to Evan’s in a mockery of affection. Evan’s chest felt too tight, Connor was too close and the world felt too unbalanced under his shaking legs. 

 

“S-S-Stop!!!” He screamed, shoving Connor as hard as his fatigued muscles would allow. The brunet stumbled, his back connecting with the opposite wall. The solid hit seemed to bring him back into his body. His shoulders slumped and he hung his head in shame. It was such a stark contrast that it made Evan’s head spin. His hands scrabbled for purchase against the wall to try and keep himself from keeling over. 

 

The silence was agonizing. It was choking Evan, but he tried to keep his breathing quiet, not wanting to draw attention to himself. What was most likely less than two minutes felt like two decades. Finally, Connor spoke.

 

“Maybe we weren’t ready for this.” The words hit Evan harder than any physical punch ever could. Connor looked solemn, emotionless. The blond would have rather he punched him than say that. 

 

_‘This is what you prepared yourself for…you knew he’d end up leaving you, you had your walls up… but why the fuck does it hurt so badly?’_

 

“Just leave already then, because that’s what it sounds like!” Evan finally yelled, the last little dredges of nerve draining from him. He watched as a spark of something flashed behind Connor’s eyes before they returned to a dull blue. 

 

“Fine! Consider us through!” He spat, turning on his heel and marching down the corridor toward the elevator. He didn’t bother glancing back as the doors shut behind him. The blond sank to the floor, his legs no longer able to support his weight. He crumbled in on himself, praying that the floor would swallow him up. This is not how he planned his day would go. Hell, this wasn't how he planned his life would go. 

 

He had long ago accepted that he would most likely die alone, but at least he had good friends, right? Wrong. Evan hadn’t been expecting Connor to walk into his life like he owned it, take everything and more, and then walk out as if he were merely a ghost. As if he had never existed in the first place. He took something Evan had been saving, a love he had hoped to someday give to a person who could return it, but Evan had never been lucky. Now, Connor was gone and Evan was a mess and he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. Did he go back to his desk and pretend his 9-5 job was all he ever wanted in life? 

 

Footsteps echoed down the hall, and Evan’s heart sped up. 

 

“C-Connor?” Evan breathed, looking up. He met Jared’s soft eyes. The brunet shook his head with a sad smile.

 

“Ah, not quite.” Evan deflated against his friend, soaking his expensive suit in salty tears. Jared rubbed his back and for once, restrained from making a crass joke. The blond felt eternally grateful, crying until he couldn’t cry anymore and was left hiccuping and rubbing his eyes. The CEO took him by the forearms and hauled him to his feet. 

 

“Not to sound like every rom-com ever, but pick yourself up and stop crying over a stupid boy.” Jared said, pushing Evan towards the elevator. “We’re gonna turn you into a strong, independent man who don’t need no…man? Eh, I’ll work on it, give me ’til the end of the day, I have a meeting at two and need something to daydream about, anyways. Here.” He handed the man a plastic card. “My credit card. Take my personal car over to that farmer’s market you and Zoe obsess over and buy whatever overpriced, gluten free, GMO free, lactose free-”

 

“Jared.” Evan said with a watery smile. Jared grinned and shoved him into the elevator. 

 

“My point is, buy whatever you want and bring it over to my place, we’ll get drunk and watch Scott Pilgrim defeat the Power of Love.” Evan smiled despite not understanding the reference. Jared clearly saw that his pop culture reference went over the accountant’s head.

 

“Oh, my God. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World? The hero learns that love interests come and go, but he can never break up with himself?” At Evan’s blank stare, he shoved the accountant into the glass box and hit the ‘close’ button before he could respond. Jared pivoted and headed back to his office.

 

“I’m dealing with children, I swear.” He said aloud. 

 

“I second that statement, as it applies to you.” Alana replied, popping her head out of his office door. Jared rolled his eyes and joined her at his desk.

 

“So you heard everything?” 

 

“Sadly, I fear we’ve heard more than we were ever meant to.” Jared nodded and rubbed his jaw. 

 

“Call the ice cream shop down the street tell them to stuff Evan’s personal fridge with every flavor they’ve got.” At Alana’s questioning look. he elaborated. “Evan can down an entire pint in like, two minutes when he’s sad. It’s actually really impressive.” The vice president pulled up the company’s website on her laptop. 

 

“What toppings would he prefer?” 

 

“Fuck it, get all of them. This is going to be a bigger emotional mess than the time I lost my Hamilton tickets.” 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry, guys, I so so sorry. Is everyone okay? It can only get better from here, though! I promise, no more breakups! 
> 
> As always, y'all are cute, I love you, have a great rest of your day!
> 
> Also, if anyone was wondering, Jared found his Hamilton tickets.


	15. This Is Not What The Phone Was Intended For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan is finding ways to cope with the break up and Zoe tries to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fanart for the chapter! 
> 
> https://fluffy-bunbunny.tumblr.com/image/167436980100
> 
> It's amazing, plz check it out!!!! <3

It had been three days _Post Connor_. Not that Evan was keeping track or anything. 

 

Why would he? He had too much on his plate to begin with. Trying to fix a relationship that was doomed from the start wasn’t high on his priority list at the moment. 

 

_Stop lying to yourself. You’d much rather be wrapped in Connor’s arms than hunched over your desk any day of the week._

 

Evan growled and hit his computer keys with a bit too much force. 

 

_‘Shut up! I’m glad he’s gone, it means I can focus on my work! Look how productive I’ve been without him texting me every five minutes with pictures of trees or dogs or Zoe! I’m practically going to fix this entire company crisis with how productive I’m being!’_

 

He was going to fix the entire stupid financial crisis. Without Connor at home, he had no reason to leave his office. Evan could work as late as he pleased without having to worry about Connor leaving the light on and wondering what was keeping him. 

 

_‘This is great!’_

 

_No, it’s really not. Just look at yourself, you’re falling apart._

 

So what if his hands shook from exhaustion, or that his eyes burned from lack of sleep? An Irish coffee would cure all his problems. Speaking of….

 

He carelessly threw a hand out in search of his drink, but ended up knocking it over in the process. The brown liquid drenched his notes, and it took everything in Evan not to scream. With measured breaths, he laid his head on his desk and tried to hold back the tears that pricked at his eyes.  

 

So you could say things… weren’t going the best. 

 

Evan couldn’t remember the last time he had eaten. Maybe that was something he should take care of? He shook the thought off and returned to typing away at his computer. Once he finished the new financial plan, he could allow himself the act like a normal human being. 

 

His vision swam, the numbers on screen blurring into a pretty kaleidoscope of color. Evan braced himself against the armrests of his chair and squeezed his eyes shut. 

 

 _‘No, not now! I’m not finished yet! I still have to re-budget the California branch!’_ He thought desperately as bile rose in his throat. The blond was so consumed in his thoughts that he had yet to process the opening and closing of his door. The sudden disturbance almost caused him to fall gracelessly from his chair.

 

“Dude, did you even go home last night?” Jared asked, staring at Evan as if he had two heads. He could have at this point, the accountant wasn’t all there at the moment. It took Evan longer than usual to process his friend’s question.

 

“Last night? It’s still…” He glanced around, squinting at his wall clock. The numbers danced teasingly around the hands. “What time is it?” Jared gawked and approached the haggard accountant. 

 

“It’s morning, and I guess that basically answers my question. He grabbed Evan from under the arms and dragged him through the door. The blond dug his feet in and pushed the CEO away. 

 

“I’m not finished, yet! Just let me-”

 

“Evan! You look like you’re two steps away from keeling over! Go home!” Jared made another grab at the blond. 

 

“I’m fine!” He shouted, returning to his desk and typing away. 

 

“You say that, but I really don’t think you are. Come on, I think you got more work done in two days than all the other accountants do in two weeks, so really, I insist that you go home and sleep.” 

 

Evan felt close to tears again. All he wanted to do was to finish the stupid financial reconstruction, was that too much to ask for?! 

 

He’d much rather stay in his office than at his apartment. Because if he went home to his apartment, he’d smell Connor on his sheets and see the clothes he left on the floor, and he really didn’t think he could deal with that at the moment. 

 

“Jared, p-please, just let me finish…” The sight of the budding tears was enough to sway the brunet, but he mumbled something about getting reinforcements before leaving. Evan heaved a sigh of relief and turned back to the blurry computer screen. 

 

Not five minutes later Zoe marched in, iPhone held like she was ready to attack. Evan gave her a tired glare. This didn’t deter the woman, who only glared back and encroached closer on his personal space. 

 

“I know what you’re going to say, and-” 

 

“What? You think I’m here to persuade you and Connor to get back together?” She accused, placing a delicately manicured hand on her hip. Evan nodded, turning back to his computer screen so he didn’t have to look into the eyes that were so similar to Connor’s. She huffed at his lack of response. 

 

“Jared told me to come scrape you out of your chair, apparently it’s starting to smell in here.” She wrinkled her nose in disgust, apparently agreeing with the assessment. Evan rolled his eyes. He’d spray an air freshener and open his windows, they were blowing it out of proportion.    

 

“Just let me finish the California branch, and-” 

 

“Evan, the California branch isn’t expecting the financial plan until next week, you can afford to go home and shower. Please?” She asked, giving him an impersonation of a kicked puppy. Evan almost fell for it, too. His saving grace was her iPhone suddenly ringing. She looked at the caller I.D. with a frown. 

 

“One sec, Ev…” She mumbled, walking outside his office. He stared numbly after her, but didn’t bother to get up to close the door. After a minute, she walked back into his office with her phone still glued to her ear. She was clearly struggling, as her cheeks were red with anger. 

 

“Just talk to him, he won’t leave the office and I feel like it’s your fault.” She argued before shoving the phone into Evan’s hands. Too tired to argue, he brought the phone to his ear without checking the number. It was most likely Alana or Jared trying to get him to leave, anyways. 

 

“Hello?” He said tiredly. Had he ever sounded this tired, before? It wasn’t worth pondering over at the moment. 

 

“Evan?” A male voice asked, sounding as surprised as the blond felt. 

 

“C-Connor.” He looked up and met Zoe’s devious smirk before she turned on her heel and shut his door with a definite _‘bang.’_ He felt his heart plummet to the bottom of stomach. God, the last the thing he needed was Jared walking in on him having a meltdown. He’d definitely get sent home, and he was _so close_ to finishing the budget. It was time to do what Evan did best. Deflect.

 

“D-Did you put Zoe up to this?” He accused, spinning around in his chair so that he was facing the window. He could hear a mean scoff on the other line.

 

“You think I’d stoop as low as using my sister to talk to you? I’m a lot of things, Hansen, but I’m not desperate.” He spat back, papers crinkling in the background. 

 

It appeared that both men were going through the grieving process, but had somehow gotten stuck on anger. Evan didn’t care. The next step was depression, and he wasn’t going to go near that without a handful of medication and an appointment with his therapist. 

 

“I never said you were.” He answered, trying to keep his voice civil.

 

“That’s what it sounded like.” Connor spat back, sounding like a petulant child. 

 

“Well, maybe you should learn I’m not out to hurt your feelings!” Evan shouted, banging his fist on his desk. Pain shot through his fingers, and he shook his hand out to numb the pain.

 

“God, if I were there right now I’d…” Connor seemed to be debating something. 

 

“You’d what?” There was a lengthy pause, and Evan briefly wondered if Connor had hung up.

 

“I’d shove you against your desk and show you how ridiculous you’re being.” 

 

_Did…did that sound oddly sexual?_

 

“I-I’d fight back.” Evan didn’t sound as confident in his answer.

 

“Would you? Or would you let me lay you out and do whatever I wanted, because you knew I was right?” Connor goaded.

 

_‘Don’t respond, don’t let him know his words are getting to you. Be the strong, independent man your mom thinks you are.’_

 

“You aren’t right.” Evan said with as much authority as his sleep deprived state could muster. He heard Connor scoff.

 

“God, you and that pretty mouth of your’s. I’d find a much better use for it than arguing.” He voice dropped in octave, not even bothering to hide his lustful intentions anymore. 

 

“Ohh?” Evan hadn’t meant for the questioning sound to come out as breathily as it did. 

 

“Mhmm. I’d put you on your knees and make you beg to suck my cock. Do you like the sound of that?” Yes, Evan did like the sound of that. Should he admit it to Connor so easily, though? 

 

Fine, if this was the game Connor wanted to play, then Evan was going to deal himself in.

 

“O-Only if you pull my hair and tell me how good I’m being.” Woah. Alright, that one came out of nowhere. Evan blushed madly but couldn’t bring himself to regret the words. So what if he sounded like a porn star? Connor’s answering groan was more than enough to calm his anxiety. 

 

“Mm, Evan. I’d grab you by the hair and fuck your mouth ‘til you were gagging. No matter how much you choked, you’d still beg me for more.” Connor growled, voice sharp and aggressive. Evan could hear the sound of clothing rustling. Was the brunet touching himself? The thought made Evan’s cheeks redder than before. He could imagine Connor splayed across his office chair, pants hastily undone in his attempt to get his dick out as quickly as possible. The blond could feel his own cock, hard and straining against his suit pants. 

 

Evan had never been good with taking risks. He calculated them, sure, but actually following through was another story. 

 

_‘You know what? Fuck it. I’ve been working for three days straight, my love life is in shambles, and Jared won’t stop trying to force feed me ice cream.’_

 

Placing the phone in the crook of his ear, Evan made quick work of shimmying his pants down his thighs. He brought a tentative hand down to palm at the obvious bulge in his boxers, sighing softly into the receiver. The blond was so absorbed in his pleasure that he almost forgot to respond to Connor. 

 

“Would you come for me, Connor? Would you let me swallow?” He asked, mouth watering at the thought of getting to suck the other male off. Evan pulled his cock out of his boxers and was now pumping himself with even strokes, the pull from lack of lubrication increasing his pleasure. He wanted Connor to come into his office and make real of his promises, but his hand would have to do for now.

 

“No, that’d be too easy. I’d pull your eager mouth off me and kiss you, just so I could taste myself on your tongue.” Connor growled, his panting becoming more obvious. 

 

“Mhm, and then what?” Evan asked, cradling the phone in his shoulder to rub at a pert nipple with one hand and stroke himself with the other. 

 

“I’d rip your clothes off so you were standing hard and desperate in front of me. God, I can picture you in the blue suit you wore the first time we met. I about came in my pants when I first saw you.” 

 

 _‘Huh? That was Connor’s first reaction to seeing me that night?’_ Evan thought he looked decent, but nothing special, especially compared to all the other beautiful people in attendance. The compliment had his cock twitching excitedly. 

 

“Connor…” He moaned, not bothering to keep his voice down. Hopefully the walls were thick and Zoe wasn’t waiting outside for her phone. 

 

“I’d turn you around and make you face your desk, just so you couldn’t touch yourself. You could only come on my cock. Got it?” 

 

“God, yes. What would you do if I tried to touch myself?” Evan asked a bit too excitedly. The thought of Connor taking him against his desk was enough to have him keening, grip tightly around his shaft. He could feel a ball of warmth pooling in his stomach, and he tried to ride the feeling. 

 

“I’d slap you’re ass until it was bright red.” The authority in his voice was lost to the breathy sigh that escaped.

 

“I’d let you.” Evan replied, and he meant it. 

 

“I wouldn’t take my time opening you up. I’d be as rough as I wanted and you’d still whimper the way you do when my fingers are in you.” He knew exactly what Connor was talking about. At the beginning of their relationship, he had found his whimpers embarrassing, but Connor seemed to enjoy them so Evan stopped censoring himself. Just to prove a point, Evan whimpered pathetically, the way he knew would drive Connor crazy. 

 

“I’d avoid your prostate just to torture you. I want you to beg me to give you that pleasure.” And, wow, did Evan just twist at his nipple a bit too roughly in surprise? His balls tightened and he tried to keep his orgasm at bay. 

 

“…fuck.” He replied, brain short circuiting slightly. 

 

“You shouldn’t be saying such dirty words, sweet boy. I’d have to punish you for that. I’d run my nails down your back until I could see the red marks. I’d tease you until you were mewling and begging to have my cock inside your greedy little hole.’’ Connor exclaimed, sounding just as excited at the prospect. The brunet was panting now, his groans growing louder and more pronounced. 

 

“Yes! Yes, punish me for it… fill me up… I want it…I want it.” Evan panted, words pouring out of his mouth before he had time to think about what he was actually saying. He abandoned his nipple to play with his aching balls.

 

“You’ve been so misbehaved, I wouldn’t bother being gentle. I’d shove myself right into your tight ass and hold you down while you cried.” Why did that sound as appealing as it did? 

 

“Make me…” Evan gasped as white pearls dripped down his straining shaft. “…make me feel you every time I sit down… so that when I’m in a meeting with the board, all I can think about is the way you fucked me.” Connor moaned, his voice wrecked. 

 

“Mm, Ev… you’d look so pretty, _so pretty,_ impaled on my cock. All that pale skin that bruises so easily under my tongue…” A groan cut the brunet off. “The way your brows knit together and you open your mouth just enough to pant…you shut your eyes like your concentrating, and maybe you are… God, I wish you’d open your eyes for me, I love your eyes…” He sounded like he was slipping into a daydream, something that Evan wasn’t supposed to hear. 

 

“Connor?” Evan asked tentatively, hand speeding up around his cock. 

 

“…and you cry my name so desperately, like it’s the only thing you can remember… like a prayer, like if I stopped, you’d break…” Evan was whimpering now, pressure building up inside him. 

 

“C-Con-” He cried pathetically.

 

“…and the way you throw your head back when you come, I’ve never seen someone so euphoric in their pleasure…it’s like you chase a high drugs could never give you… fuck, I love that I’m the one who gives it to you…” Connor was getting too personal. Evan couldn’t find it in himself to care. All he cared about was the man’s voice in his ear and the release he promised. 

 

“Ohh! Connor, I’m-” 

 

“I’d mark you up, so you’d have no chance of being able to cover them all. I’d make everyone know you were mine. I’d sink my teeth into your neck and draw blood if I have to, just to prove to you that-” Too much, too much! 

 

“Connor, I’m gonna cum…” He managed to say before Connor could say something he regretted. 

 

“Then cum.” He said it so authoritatively, that Evan was powerless to follow. He came with a muffled cry, biting so hard on his bottom lip that he drew blood. He could hear Connor chase his own orgasm as well, a soft cry of Evan’s name on his lips. 

 

Evan let his head rest against the back of his chair, his whole body going boneless with release.  His head was swimming, trying to grab hold of a thought and use it as a lifeline, but nothing stuck. He could vaguely hear Connor breathing heavily into the receiver, but it was a comforting buzzing in the back of his head. 

 

The world slowly came back into view, the once blurry office coming back with lightning focus. He could feel the drying remains of his actions on his bare thighs. Grimacing, he quickly cleaned himself up. In his distraction, he had almost forgotten that Connor was still on the other line. The brunet seemed to have followed his actions, if the soft rustling was anything to go by. 

 

“So, Evan, I-”

 

Any remaining comfort from the orgasm was drained away in that single utterance. Connor said it with an emotion much to heavy for their current situation. Evan felt tears prick the corners of his eyes. 

 

How could he have been so weak? Connor had broken his heart and walked out three days ago, and now he was on the other side of the line acting as if this were a normal occurrence for them. 

 

 _You went along with it, too. Don’t act as if it weren’t true._ Evan took a deep breath to try and hold back his tears. 

 

_He’ll break your heart again, if you let him._

 

God, that was the last thing Evan wanted. He didn’t think he’d be able to go through that pain again. If he were being honest with himself, he was barely coping as it was. To let Connor walk back in would be a crime against himself.

 

Maybe high school Evan would have taken him back, so lonely that the promise of some form of affection was enough to have him jumping at the opportunity. 

 

But he wasn’t his high school counterpart anymore. He was twenty-eight with a successful job and a few close friends. He had gotten better. As much as it hurt him to admit, he didn’t need Connor in his life if he would only bring about pain and heartbreak. 

 

Even as his tears stained the dull carpet, Evan felt stronger than he had in a long time. 

 

_Will you let him break your heart? Break you?_

 

“No.” 

 

“W-What?” Connor stuttered, surprised by the force behind his single syllable. 

 

“This was a mistake.”

 

“Evan-”

 

“Shut up, I’m talking. You can’t pull this on me and then say my name the way you do, with all your sincerity and hope, it doesn’t work like that! You told me we were done, so we’re done. I’ll give Zoe your things and she can give them to you.” With that, Evan abruptly ended the call and wiped his cheeks. 

 

Fuck, why was he crying so hard? He was pretty sure Connor wasn’t able to tell over the phone. Or maybe he could but he was just to nice to tell him. 

 

His anxiety chose the worst moment to rear it’s ugly head.

 

_‘You’re making a mistake, you know that, right? You can act the confidant all you want, but at the end of the day all you’re going to see is an empty bed and an absent love life. He could have been the one, and now you’ll never know because he’ll never talk to you again.’_

 

“No!” Evan sniffled, trying to convince himself that he was just overreacting. 

 

He couldn’t. 

 

Picking up his phone, he sent a quick text to Jared telling him he was heading home and made his way to the door. Upon stepping out, he saw Zoe at the end of the hall talking to Alana. As he walked past, he deposited the phone into her hand without a word and got into the elevator. The women didn’t comment on his tears, which he was thankful for. 

 

Zoe and Alana turned to give each other concerned looks. 

 

“What did you do?” Alana asked, but there wasn’t a trace of accusation in her voice, only curiosity. 

 

“I-I thought it would help if they talked to each other.” Zoe replied, sounding shell shocked. “Alana, I didn’t think it would make it worse, I didn’t-” The VP cut her off as she took her into her arms.

 

“I know you didn’t, Zo. I know. I just…” She huffed and pulled the blonde tighter to her frame. “I think it’s one of those things that they need to work out for themselves. I know you want them to be together, but you wanting it isn’t enough. They need to want it, too.” She murmured against the blonde stands that tickled her nose. Zoe sighed and pulled back to stare at her lover.

 

“Smart _and_ sensible. What did I do to deserve you?” Alana laughed softly and kissed her chastely on her pink lips. 

 

“Boys are stupid.” Zoe remarked as they walked down the hall, hands brushing each other’s every so often.

 

“They often are.” Alana said as she pulled Zoe into her office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was something... At least Evan stood up for himself? I will not let him be a doormat that takes Connor back just because... our boy Connor has to work harder than that ;P 
> 
> Next chapter is Con's POV, so that's something to look forward to! 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! You're hot and I love you! <3


	16. Weed Isn't The Answer To Everything, Just Some Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Murphys work it out.

Connor pointedly ignored the hole in his wall as he walked into his kitchen. It had been glaring mockingly at him for the past three days, and he was just about to punch another one in when a thought stopped him. 

 

_‘Evan wouldn’t like it knowing you’re taking your frustrations out on the drywall.’_

 

He growled and slammed a fist down on his marble countertop. The brunet barely registered the pain, only stopping long enough to make sure his hand wasn’t broken. 

 

“It doesn’t matter what he thinks.” He growled out loud, hating how his voice sounded scratchy and unused.  

 

He hadn’t left his house prior to the breakup, refusing to talk to anyone, even Zoe. He had hurled his phone somewhere down the hall the last time she had called. Hearing the pity in her voice set him on edge and brought back memories of the skinny kid in the oversized black hoodie, hair greasy and cuts lining the insides of his arms. 

 

He could feel the ever present anger bubble up inside his gut that burned him from the inside out. Placing his ceramic mug on the table, he paced around his kitchen in distress. Thoughts of their last happy night together swirled around his head. 

 

He could see them standing at the gazebo. The lights were oddly bright in his mind, warping the image. Evan was talking, but he couldn’t make out what he was saying. The wind whistled in his ears, making the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. 

 

Focus, focus, focus. What was Evan saying?

 

His little accountant was smiling nervously, his gaze alternating between Connor’s eyes and the space over his shoulder. The brunet could hear his words now, but they sounded as if Evan were saying them through a tunnel. 

 

Leaning over his countertop, Connor placed his hands over his ears to keep the sounds in his mind. He could almost here what Evan was saying, almost…

 

_‘I love you.’_

 

“Fuck!” He sounded agonized, fists slamming down with enough force to knock his coffee off the counter. Connor was sure his neighbors could hear him, but at this point, he didn’t really give a fuck. Let them call the cops, he wasn’t above making a scene.

 

“Goddamn it!” The crude words helped sate his anger, but only marginally. Usually Connor was more articulate, but something about Evan turned his brain to mush and reduced his vocabulary to that of a sailor’s. 

 

_‘Oh, Evan, Evan, Evan.’_

 

Why did Evan have to go and say he loved him?! Why was he so broken that he couldn’t say those three stupid words back? He wanted to. God, Evan had no idea how badly he had wanted to.

 

Instead, he had to settle for Evan’s realization that he was dating an emotionally fucked up freak that couldn’t say _‘I love you’_ without sending himself into a death spiral. 

 

_‘Wait. Dated. Wrong tense, dumbass.’_

 

Dated, right. Fuck. 

 

The only thing that seemed to go correctly under the gazebo was that Evan didn’t immediately run away after not having his affections returned. Connor knew how hard it was for Evan to find the courage to profess his love before his anxiety clogged his throat up, but the little blond had bravely stuck his ground. 

 

And Connor… Connor didn’t fucking say anything. He let the best thing in his life lay his heart bare before him and he couldn’t manage anything better than a half-baked response. _Speaking of baked…_ Where was his weed?

 

The brunet went to the back of his closet and pulled out a small box with a sleek glass pipe inside. If he was going to make himself miserable, he might as well try to shut the voices up for a while. Making his way back out into his living room, he made quick work of opening his window and climbing unto the fire escape. 

 

Connor packed the bowl with precise movements, mostly running on autopilot. He grabbed his favorite lighter and lit the pot, the soft ambers glowing in the dim light. Taking the smoke into his lungs, he let himself fall back against the brick siding. He continued the process until he was fully relaxed, his shoulders finally losing their tenseness. _Thank God._

 

Without the tormenting voices in his head, he could finally recount the last couple of days without wanting to throw himself from the nearest rooftop. 

 

 _‘Hmm, maybe it isn’t such a good idea to be hanging out on the 10th floor fire escape.’_ The thought made him giggle, which soon led to a coughing fit. When the brunet recovered, he looked toward the moon that was trying to peak out from behind a skyscraper. 

 

As grateful as he was that Evan hadn’t kicked him out that night, the next day was surely the last nail in the coffin. Like always, he had let his anger get the better of him and barely let Evan explain his side of the story before going off on him. It wasn’t Evan’s fault that he knew of his firing and didn’t say anything. Now that Connor thought about it, when would have it have been an appropriate time for him to bring it up? Before or after his love confession? 

 

Connor scoffed and took another hit. 

 

It probably wasn’t even Evan’s job to fire people, he was probably given the heads up as a favor to Connor. The brunet’s reaction was probably what he expected upon telling Connor, and he wasn’t wrong… 

 

But now everything was said and done. Connor had had so much hope at the end of their steamy phone call that they could work it out and get back together, but the blond had drawn a firm line in the sand. Maybe seeing the worst of him had been too much. Even still, Connor would give anything to redo that night. He’d cherish the way Evan looked at him, push away the part of his fridge that stubbornly refused to stay in place, kiss his nose and cheeks and lips. 

 

He’d tell him that he lo-

 

A sharp rapping on his door broke the steady silence Connor had sunken into. Well, as silent as New York could be on a weeknight. Groaning, he packed up his supplies and unsteady climbed back through his window. He didn’t bother to hide the weed. He placed it on his living room table and combed his hair out of his eyes before opening the door with more gusto than should be allowed. 

 

Before he even had time to process who the uninvited guest was, their manicured hand was across his face with enough force to snap his head back. His inebriated state kept him from feeling much pain, and he simply turned back to look at Zoe with glazed eyes. 

 

“That wasn’t very nice.” He mumbled, cocking his head. Zoe stared at him with glowing eyes. 

 

“Seriously, you’re high right now?” She questioned, though she already know the answer by the smell of her brother. Connor simply shrugged and allowed her to push past him into the apartment. 

 

“What else am I going to be doing on a Wednesday night?” He answered, following her into the living room.  

 

“I don’t know, maybe running that thing you own? You know, the one that has your name on it in big shiny letters, just to one-up Dad?” She said, a hint of aggravation in her voice. Connor grumbled and flopped down on his couch.

 

“That’s what I have my V.P. for, he runs the show while I go off and play. He’s not Alana, but he’s alright.” He mumbled, face still in the cushions. He felt Zoe plop down next to him and run a hand through his hair. He leaned into it, so touch starved from Evan’s absence that he took any form of human contact he could get. 

 

The siblings sat in silence, just taking in the presence of the other. Finally, Zoe spoke. 

 

“Evan’s pretty heartbroken. We had to practically drag him out of the office before he worked himself into exhaustion.” She mumbled, pulling a tangle out of his hair. Connor huffed.

 

“Is this your way of telling me that you wish my heartbroken state made me more productive instead of hiding in my apartment like a recluse?” He asked, turning to gaze up at her. Zoe rolled her eyes good naturally.

 

“Stop being an ass, you know that’s not what I meant. Also, you’re way too articulate for being high, right now.” She replied. Sighing, she dropped her eyes to the floor, her usually confident demeanor crumbling. 

 

Zoe looked like she did back in high school. Like the scared, helpless child who was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Just waiting for her psychotic brother to finally break and make real of the threats of killing her. Waiting for her parents to scream and fight until they were blue in the face. 

 

Connor fucking hated knowing he put that look on her face. He sat up and wrapped her in his arms. She melted against him, her head tucked into his shoulder. The brunet ran shaking hands through her hair, missing the indigo streaks that had faded into a time long forgotten. 

 

“You can tell me what happened, if you want.” She mumbled, face still pushed into his shoulder. 

 

Connor felt the last little dam in himself break. He had slowly been admitting things to himself throughout the past couple of days, but hadn’t taken the chance to really understand what they meant. And if he was going to shove his problems on anyone, they might as well be his favorite little sister. 

 

“I miss him, Zo. I really fucking miss him, and I feel like such a fucking idiot for not realizing it sooner.” She hummed to show that she was listening. 

 

“He said that he loved me, Zo! He fucking loves me! Well, loved me, but…” Zoe perked up to speak, but Connor cut her off before she could utter a word. 

 

“Don’t. Don’t try and tell me he still loves me. I’m not a charity case, and I’m not out for sympathy.” She nodded, but looked like she wanted to say more. “So now he’s gone and I’m a fucking mess and this is why I didn’t want to get involved because I knew it would end up just like this, with me sitting in my living room, high as a kite, with you trying to talk me through my terrible life choices.” He finished with a flourish. The blonde raised an eyebrow and pulled back to stare into Connor’s eyes.

 

“Really, you predicted this?” She accused. Connor gave her a hard look.

 

“Yeah, I definitely did. Based on my past relationships, I’m surprised we lasted as long as we did.” Zoe scoffed.

 

“If that’s what you call your one night stands, then that’s your own preference, but you and I both know that isn’t Evan. He means way more to you than just a night of meaningless sex.” She replied expertly. Connor nodded sagely. 

 

“I know.”

 

“Connor, please. Just answer me truthfully.” Zoe begged, eyes wide and trusting. 

 

_Shit._

 

“Okay?” 

 

“What are you so afraid of?” 

 

Connor felt his face pale and his hands clam up. He did know the answer the the question, but had vehemently been denying it. To admit it out loud would make it true, and Connor wasn’t sure if he was ready to face the truth. But one look at Zoe had the words falling out of his mouth on their own accord. 

 

“Zoe, you saw how fucked up Mom and Dad’s marriage was. We could hear their fights through the walls, and we had some pretty thick walls. Why would I want that? Why would I want to wake up one day and hate the person I was sleeping next to? Don’t give me that look!” He growled, watching as Zoe’s brows knit together. “They should have divorced each other long before we were able to recognize what a prenup was.” Zoe’s frown intensified. Connor tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. 

 

“I have no idea what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like! The best example I have is you and Alana, and you won’t even admit to dating her!” He didn’t have any spite behind his words. 

 

“What if I married Evan, huh? What if I married him and he realized how broken I was, and ended up hating me for it? I wouldn’t be able to take yelling at him, Zo. I couldn’t.” She looked close to tears, but didn’t interrupt. 

 

“There’s this voice in the back of my head that keeps telling me that we are going to end up like Mom and Dad. Just… miserable and pissed off at our life choices.” Connor could feel hot trails of tears running down his face. _Fuck._

 

“I’d break him. I’d try and be perfect for him and fall flat on my ass, and he’d regret ever talking to me. I couldn’t even tell him that I lo-” A choking sob cut him off, and it was Zoe’s turn to let him cry into her shoulder. 

 

“Maybe this is how life is supposed to be for us. I go back to being a slut and he goes back to his office job until someone realizes how amazing he is and marries him and makes him smile the way he should, instead of crying and working himself to the point of exhaustion because his ex-boyfriend’s a fuck up-”

 

“Where’s the Connor Murphy I knew that once threw a punch at Michael’s ex-boyfriend because he was being a piece of shit? Where’s the Connor Murphy that broke into the school to help his sister grab a love letter before her crush could read it? Where’s the Connor Murphy that feeds ducks in Central Park when he thinks no one’s looking? Where’s that Connor Murphy? Because he sure as hell isn’t here.” Connor was taken aback by Zoe’s sudden, and kind of hurtful if he was being honest, declaration. 

 

“What the hell are you talking about?” He growled, wiping the tears from his face. 

 

“Evan is just as fucked up as you are! The first time he tried to talk to me, he got his arm stuck in a vending machine. It took three of us just to get him out!” Connor looked more confused than enlightened.

 

“What I’m trying to say is, you two balance each other out. I don’t know how, but you two make a weird, almost functioning normal person when you’re together. It’s actually really fascinating.” Connor chuckled for the first time in what felt like days. 

 

“Can I remind you of something, too?” At Connor’s nod of approval, Zoe continued. “Remember when Mom and Dad went to that really expensive couple’s therapy camp? They learned how to actually communicate with each other instead of bottling everything up until they exploded on each other.” Connor raised on eyebrow. “What I’m saying is that they were able to work it out. And let’s face it, if they can fix their train wreck of a marriage, I don’t see why you can’t fix your relationship with Evan.” 

 

Connor stared at his sister as if she had two heads. God, he wasn’t high enough for this. Zoe seemed to be picking up on his vibe.

 

“Connor, you aren’t going to end up like Mom and Dad. I can see it in your eyes when you look at him. You’re obviously head over heels in lo-” Connor gave her a sharp look. “…you obviously care a lot about Evan, just…”

 

“What? Spit it out, I know you want to say it.” He griped, reading his sister like a book. 

 

“You have to fight for him.”

 

“Huh?” Connor questioned, his brain not functioning quickly enough to process what she was getting at. 

 

“Con, you’re fucking crazy about this boy. I don’t get how you can just walk away without even trying.” Zoe pleaded, taking him by the shoulders and shaking. The brunet shook the hands off to take them in his own. 

 

“He made it pretty damn clear he didn’t want to have anything to do with me.” He muttered bitterly, giving Zoe’s hands a hard squeeze. She winced but didn’t complain. 

 

“Did it ever pass through your thick skull that maybe he’s seeing just how far you’ll go to get him back?” 

 

"Elaborate, shrimp.” He was losing his patience. He was high and emotional, he didn’t need Zoe’s complex riddle at the moment. 

 

“Alana debriefed me on your fight-”

 

“Good Lord, does Alana have cameras planted everywhere?-” 

 

“No, that’s fucking weird, that’s just what you get for having a screaming match outside their offices. Anyways-” Zoe rolled her eyes and tucked a golden strand behind her ear. 

 

“From what it sounds like, Evan’s literally terrified that he’ll lose you to another guy because he doesn’t feel worthy enough to date you. Which is total bullshit in my opinion, because he’s literally the cutest, sweetest guy I’ve ever met, and-”

 

“Zoe! The point!” Connor almost yelled, eyes wild and bloodshot. 

 

“Make him believe he’s worth fighting for! Because we both know damn well that he is.” 

 

_Oh._

 

Connor felt as if someone had turned a light on in his brain. Apparently, he’d been stumbling around in the dark for the past couple of weeks and finally located the switch. He sat back against the couch, eyes wide and unseeing. Zoe watched as Connor’s brain rewired itself. 

 

How could he have been so oblivious to Evan’s obvious need for validation and comfort? Connor thought he had Evan Hansen down to a science, and could read him faster than he could a drive-thru menu. If he would have gotten his head out of his ass for two seconds, he would have realized that bringing up past flings and broken relationships wasn’t reassuring the blond of his commitment. God damn, was he an idiot.  Connor had just assumed that Evan would know he was loyal to him, but had given no reasons to justify that thought process.

 

“Fuck, you’re right.” He mumbled, coming back to himself.

 

“Duh.” Zoe replied flippantly, as if it were a universal fact. It probably was. 

 

“Jesus fuck, okay. So you’re saying I have to go bare my soul to him?” Zoe nodded wisely. 

 

“If I’m going to go and bare my fucking soul to him, he better do the same, no-” Connor shook his head. He was kind of a demanding asshole when he was high. “I _hope_ he’ll do the same. If I can admit I’m wrong about digging up old demons, he can admit that that he was wrong about bottling up all his stress and not talking to me.” Zoe nodded again and wrapped him in a tight hug. Connor wrapped his arms around her lithe waist and brought her to his chest. 

 

“Good. If you get back together now, that means you can still bring him home for Christmas.” Zoe replied, giving a strand a his hair a tug. Connor winced and pushed her fondly. 

 

“What is with you and bringing him home for Christmas?” He asked, standing up to grab a glass of water. He had a serious case of dry mouth at the moment. 

 

“You’re telling me you don’t want to watch Evan stumble his way through meeting Aunt Eliza and Uncle Alex?” She goaded, standing up to follow him. He poured her some tea and giggled at the thought. 

 

“Oh, my God. The poor guy wouldn’t even get a word in edge wise with Uncle Alex. Can you imagine if they debated the banking system?” Connor laughed, almost spilling his drink. 

 

“They wouldn’t make it to New Year’s Eve, that’s for sure.” Zoe replied, taking a seat back at the counter. She stared at her brother for a long moment before a fond smile tugged at the corner of her pink lips. 

 

“Hey, Con?” 

 

“Yeah, Zo?” 

 

“Please don’t go back to being a slut.” Connor huffed and flicked her behind the ear. 

 

“Will do. If I have any say in it, Evan’ll the last guy I’ll ever sleep with.”

 

_Shit. You’re so screwed._

 

Zoe looked way to excited for her own good.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized I never put my tumblr on here. Its redwhiteandtrue if you guys wanna pop over there and chat. :P
> 
> Alrighty, thank God Connor has Zoe or else nothing would get accomplished. This story is slowly but surely getting happier, so cheers to that. 
> 
> As always, have a greet week, ya beautiful and I love you! <3


	17. Heidi Makes An Entrance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heidi finally gets to be a part of the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS!!! WE HAVE FANART OHMYGOD!!!! It's amazing and I'm crying plz check it out!   
> https://athanasai.deviantart.com/art/dear-evan-hansen-Fanfics-2-708025206   
> Please hop over to DeviantArt and give Queen_akuma some love! <3

Heidi Hansen liked to think she was prepared for anything. 

 

Life had taken a liking to throwing shitty things her way, and she had taken it all with grace and maturity. 

 

Not to say there weren’t times when she struggled. Sometimes, Heidi felt like she could barely keep her head above the water. 

 

Evan’s high school years were the most trying. She often found herself reminiscing about those dark spots that almost tore their relationship like a delicate ribbon. She still caught herself trying to look for ways she could have been more involved in Evan’s life, but there never seemed to be a positive answer. Between class and work, she barely had time for her son. 

 

Even when they had those precious few moments together, Evan had been a closed book. It had taken years and a lot of things Heidi would rather not think about to mend their relationship, and she was thankful for every phone call and text her son sent her nowadays. Even if it was just an update about corporate life or a picture of him with his friends, she couldn’t help but feel so much pride for her baby boy.

 

Heidi had just finished cleaning up from dinner when she heard a humble knock at the door. Her brows knit in confusion as she set down the plate she’d been drying. She hardly ever had visitors after seven, and they usually texted her beforehand to announce their arrival. Shrugging, she opened the door without checking the peephole. It was most likely a coworker looking to drink wine and vent about that day’s case, anyways. 

 

Apparently, the universe was checking in on it’s favorite blonde to test her preparedness at the unannounced arrival of Evan.

 

Evan stood in the entryway looking lost and helpless. His clothes were rumpled from travel and his bottom lip looked abused from all the biting. Heidi felt her heart break as she took in the sight of her son.

 

“Evan, sweetie! I wasn’t expecting you ’til Christmas.” She said as she quickly ushered the blond inside. Evan numbly followed her to the couch, sitting heavily and thumbing the hem of his shirt. Heidi immediately picked up on the nervous behavior, and she took both of his hands in her’s to put a stop to the motion. She hadn’t seen Evan display this type of nervous behavior in a while, and the return of his fidgeting had her turning into a mother bear. 

 

“Um, yeah, Christmas, right! I-I just thought I’d pop in and say hi, ‘cause you’re always asking when I’m gonna come and visit you, so…” He mumbled, teeth biting hard into his bottom lip. Heidi cupped his face and brought him close so she could kiss his forehead. 

 

“It’s a three hour car ride just to say ‘hello.’” She said knowingly, giving the man a small smile. Evan mirrored her expression and let out a humorless chuckle. It quickly turned into a grimace, and then a sob, and _holy crap he was crying in front of his mom, he hadn’t done that since high school._ Granted, there was a lot of things he hadn’t done since high school, but that really wasn’t the point at the moment. 

 

Heidi brought the weeping blond to her chest and held him with a fierceness only a mother could provide. Evan gripped her arms and buried his head into her shoulder. She kissed his blond curls and rubbed his back encouragingly. Soon, Evan’s tears petered off into soft snuffling. Heidi reluctantly let him pull away from the embrace as he wiped at his eyes. 

 

“Shit, sorry-” He mumbled before his mother cut him off with a playful, “Language.” Evan chuckled wetly and looked at her with red-rimmed eyes. The blonde woman cupped his hands and waited with an expectant look on her face.

 

“I’m always here if you wanna talk. Or if you don’t wanna talk, I can walk myself into the kitchen and make us some tacos. How about that?” She asked with a wink. Evan could feel the corners of his mouth turn upward. 

 

“This is going to sound really stupid…” He started, containing the eye roll. Heidi, on the other hand, didn’t contain her’s.

 

“I hear more stupid allegations at the firm than you could ever say in this home.” Evan chuckled shyly and ran a hand through his slightly matted hair. 

 

“It’s about a boy…” He mumbled and bit his lip. Heidi huffed and tucked a loose strand of hair back into her ponytail. 

 

“You wouldn’t believe how many clients start with that line…” She murmured to herself. Evan giggled now, his mother’s lighthearted tone helping aid his most likely disheartening story. “What did Connor do?” She asked before Evan could say who the boy was. 

 

The blond felt his face pale, his previous contentment abandoned for stark shock. He ducked his head in embarrassment and picked at a lose string on his sleeve, trying to find a suitable retort to skirt around the issue.

 

“How do you know about C-Connor?!” He hissed before almost face palming. 

 

 _‘You just confirmed who it was, nice one. She didn’t even have to use her lawyerly skill set to weasel it out of you.’_ His conscious said rather rudely. Heidi took his chin in her hands and made him meet her eyes. She gave him a mischievous smile, one that read of coy teasing. 

 

“I may be old, but I’m not _that_ old. Don’t think I don’t check up on your social media every once in a while.” She gave his cheek a small pinch and Evan quickly removed her hands from his face. The blond gave her a confused look. He couldn’t remember posting anything about Connor besides the group photo they took with Zoe after her concert. They hadn’t even changed their FaceBook relationship status, for crying out loud! 

 

Heidi seemed to be able to read the train of thought running through his head, because she stood up and went to the kitchen. She beckoned Evan to follow. Apparently, her answer to boy problems would indeed be tacos. 

 

“Mom, I didn’t even post anything about him, how do you know about him?!” Evan said, the words rushing out of his mouth like hot lead. The older woman turned to wink at her son.

 

“I think you’re forgetting that I also follow Zoe on her, oh, what do you kids call it?” She tapped her finger against the counter in thought. “It’s Instagram, but not your real Instagram?” Evan felt his jaw drop.

 

“Her Finstagram?” He practically yelled, not quite believing his mom was able to track down her account. It had taken Zoe weeks to finally agree to let him follow it, he couldn’t believe she allowed his mother to follow it as well. 

 

“Yes!” She said happily, snapping his fingers in remembrance. “Anyways, I saw all those cute photos of you boys together. I’m so proud of you, Evan! He’s such a handsome man!” She said happily as she started to prepare the ingredients for the tacos. Evan’s heart sank to the floor. He should have never allowed Zoe to post those photos of him and Connor together, no matter how cute they were or how much they made his heart swell.

 

“You shouldn’t be proud…” He mumbled, taking a seat at the island. Heidi looked up in surprise and abandoned the meat she was preparing. 

 

“What do you mean, sweetie?” She asked, positioning herself on the other side of the island. Evan sighed and rested his head against the cool countertop. 

 

“We broke up and I don’t know how to fix it and I don’t think he does either and it’s all my fault because of course it would be because I let work get in the way and then I pushed him away and he-” Evan cut himself off and covered his eyes with his hands. A comforting hand stroke through his fringe. He heard the floorboards creak as Heidi walked around the counter to take a seat beside him. 

 

“I know it’s hard, these things really suck…” She murmured as she rubbed his back. Evan leaned into the touch. 

 

“I-I really thought he was the one, Mom. I told him I _loved_ him… I’m so stupid…” He growled, burying his head deeper into his arms. Suddenly, he felt petite hands grab his shoulders and yank him upwards. 

 

“Evan, look at me.” He did, his wide blue eyes glistening with unshed tears. “You are not stupid for loving someone.” She pushed a blond lock out of his eyes. “If anything, I’d say you’re pretty brave.” 

 

“How?” He asked, genuinely interesting in how his stupidity could be perceived as bravery. 

 

“Do you know how much trust it takes to give someone your heart, even when you know they can break it?” Evan shrugged, unsure of how to respond. 

 

“A hell of a lot. And sometimes it doesn’t work out the way you want it to, but that’s just the risk you take when you find someone who makes you feel like you could fall in love with them everyday, for forever.” She smiled softly and traced and outline of his bicep. Evan squeezed her hand affectionately. 

 

“Love is messy, just… please don’t give up just because Connor did.” She ended, giving Evan a tight hug. He returned it ten-fold. He pulled back when the smell of burning meat caught his attention. 

 

“Mom! The beef!” He yelled.

 

“Shit!” Heidi sprang to her feet and quickly turned off the stove. She turned back to Evan with a shy smile. 

 

“How about we be nostalgic over takeout food, instead?” She asked as she removed the pan from the stove top. Evan shook his head with a laugh. 

 

“Is Magoo’s still open?” He asked, checking his watch. 

 

* * *

 

The two later found themselves curled up together on the couch, a Disney movie playing softly in the background. As Belle went to explore the West Wing, Heidi muted the sound and turned to her son.

 

“You don’t have to answer this, but what broke you guys up?” She asked with genuine curiosity. Evan sighed and shook his head. 

 

“It’s kind of a long story, but the condensed version is I tried to hide my anxiety from him and it kind of just…” He made a gesture of a bomb blowing up, and the blonde woman sighed in annoyance. Evan thought he was about to get a lecture about bottling his insecurities, but Heidi had other ideas.

 

“You’re telling me that boy made you hide your anxiety? There is no reason for you to be ashamed, you’re wonderful, anxiety and all! Give me your phone, I’m going to call him and give him a piece of my mind! Couples are supposed to help each other with their problems, not make them so self-conscious that they have to hide them! Evan-”

 

“Mom!” Evan yelled. His phone, which had been sitting on the coffee table, was now tightly gripped in his mother’s hand. He made a grab for it but wasn’t quick enough to catch Heidi. He threw his hands up in a placating gesture.

 

“It wasn’t like that! Connor, I mean, wasn’t like that! He actually helped a lot, now that I think about it…” Evan slowly lowered his head into his hands. 

 

Had he always been this stupid? How could he not see how Connor went the extra mile to accommodate his panic attacks and nervous ticks? Evan had been so absorbed in trying to save Connor from himself that he blatantly missed the fact that the brunet didn’t see it as a burden.

 

“Shit, I really screwed up, Mom.” He groaned. Heidi wrapped the blanket tighter around the stiff man. 

 

“Evan, I’m glad he helped you, but he probably has his issues, too. If you’re going to be serious with this boy, you two need to sit down and hash it out. Talk about what scares or bothers you. I’m tired of seeing you bottle up your emotions because you’re afraid they’ll scare people away.” Heidi said seriously. Evan nodded stoically. 

 

“I’ve been trying, Mom. I know it doesn’t look like it-” 

 

“Sweetheart, I can tell a difference, I can see how hard you’re trying-”

 

“But what if he can’t?! What if he suddenly wakes up one day and realizes he doesn’t want to be stuck with a basket case for the rest of his life?” He heard Heidi scoot closer on the couch.

 

“Then he wakes up one day and leaves.” Evan hadn’t been expecting an answer like that. His head shot up and he stared at his mother in shock. The blonde woman wrapped her arms around his neck. 

 

“I’m sorry, hun. But if he can’t see past the broken parts, than he doesn’t deserve to be in your life. Just remember…” Evan cocked a brow, her words somehow making sense. “…you’ve always got your mom, and your friends. You’ve been through so much. Don’t let this be the reason you stop trying.” Evan felt his breath catch in his throat. 

 

“Okay.” And he meant it. 

 

The duo sat in silence before Heidi un-muted the movie and snuggled up next to Evan. He smiled, content to finish the movie and retire to bed. When the movie ended, he wished his mother goodnight and walked up the creaking stairs to his old bedroom. It still had the fading posters of different wildlife landscapes and the bookshelf stuffed to the brim with paperback novels. 

 

Plopping into bed, sleep claimed him almost immediately. Colors danced before his cerulean eyes before opening in on a courtroom. Alana sat in the judge’s seat, her cold demeanor a shock from her usually bubbly personality. Jared, Heidi, and a handful of people Evan recognized from work were sitting in the jury box, all staring at the person on the stand.

 

Evan was on the stand. _Shit._

 

He watched himself pick at his nails as a long haired brunet approached him, reeking of confidence and disdain. 

 

_‘Now, Mr. Hansen. It seems your breakup has come to an end. Is that correct?’_

 

_‘Yes?’_

 

_‘And it was caused by your need to protect your partner from seeing the worst of you?’_

 

_‘Y-Yes?’_

 

 _‘So you’re telling me that this all could have been resolved if you had opened up to your partner about your insecurities about the relationship?’_ The man paced the courtroom, taking his time observing the crowd.

 

 _‘I guess, but what was I supposed to do?! We hadn’t been dating that long, I couldn’t just lay it all on him! He’d run before he even got to know me!’_ The Convicted Evan shouted, hands shaking with strife. 

 

 _‘He was prepared for it though, wasn’t he? He knew what he was signing up for the minute you told him about senior year. He even showed you his scars, he understood!’_ The brunet shouted back, returning his gaze to the man on the stand. 

 

 _‘It’s too late now, anyways… you’re too late…’_ Evan watched himself crumble. _‘He wouldn’t take me back, not after everything… he’ll just go back to sleeping around and I’ll go back to hiding in my office when Jared throws his business parties…’_

 

 _‘Really? You think he wouldn’t take you back?’_ The man asked, placing his hands on his hips with a cocky tilt of his brow. Evan shrugged and played with the end of his tie. The brunet scoffed and waved Zoe forward. She was holding a cellphone, _his_ cellphone.

 

 _‘Because your phone says otherwise. Ms. Murphy, can you please read aloud the number of phone calls, voicemails and texts left by Mr. Murphy?’_ The blonde nodded and unlocked the phone. 

 

 _’17 missed calls, 5 voicemails, and 34 unread texts messages.’_ She said before handing the phone to the brunet and taking a seat next to Heidi. Evan watched in shock as the brunet approached the stand and leaned over to place a gentle kiss on his other self’s lips. He almost missed the words exchanged between the two. 

 

_‘He wouldn’t be blowing up your phone if he didn’t want you back. Just..think about it.’_

 

Evan shot up in bed, his heart pounding far too hard in his chest. He reached for his phone and ripped it from the charger. His fingers fumbled to find the ‘On’ button, and he had to squint as the screen came to life. He entered the passcode and felt his fingers go numb.

 

_17 missed calls, 5 voicemails, and 34 unread texts messages from Connor Murphy._

 

Evan groaned and flopped back into bed. He screwed his eyes shut and yanked at his hair. What had his life become? He had been perfectly content to live a quiet life as an accountant, and Connor just had to come in and turn everything on it’s head. The worst part was that Evan kind of liked having him around. 

 

Maybe his mom was right. Maybe he should give his heart to Connor again, even if it meant it could be broken. Or maybe he was being stupid and pining over something he shouldn’t want. 

 

_Eh._

 

He’d deal with it in the morning.


	18. Kleinman Corps: The Hit Reality TV Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor's going to make things right.

As much as Connor dreaded setting eyes on the monument of Jared’s ego, he had to admit that the building was magnificently designed. It made his blood boil all the more to know that he had to set foot in it, yet again. His only saving grace was that cooped up in the tower of Jared’s compensation was the accountant in the blue suit. 

 

_Evan._

 

His name sounded like a prayer, a lullaby Connor wanted to hear over and over again until he was buried six feet under with the blond by his side. 

 

Swallowing his pride, he entered the building and met his smiling sister at the private elevator near the back of the shining lobby. He was barely given any mind by the passing employees, all too absorbed in conversation or their smartphone to notice the brunet’s quiet scowling. Zoe gave him a bright smile as he stepped past the metal doors and allowed himself to be encased in the glass box. The doors closed with a quiet hiss as the box ascended above the civilians crowding the street. Zoe turned expectantly toward him, her enthusiasm almost suffocating. Connor groaned and reassured himself that he was doing all of this for Evan. He could endure his sister’s endless optimism if it meant he could cuddle the blond in his arms once more.

 

That was the plan, anyways. Connor was a bit of a pessimist, and Evan sounded pretty serious about the fact that the relationship had no redemption in it’s future. The brunet huffed and pulled irritatedly at his cuff links. The blond obviously wasn’t going to expect how persuasive he could be, and not even in the sexual way.  

 

Groaning at how stupid his inner monologue sounded, Connor decided humoring his sister would be the best course of action before she exploded with excitement. 

 

“Stop looking so optimistic, it’s really starting to freak me out.” He grumbled, tucking a stray chestnut lock behind his ear. Zoe giggled and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. 

 

“I can’t help it, I’m just so fucking stoked that you guys are going to get back together.” She gushed, her shining smile melting a bit of Connor’s heart. Only a bit, though. 

 

“Don’t touch me when you use the word ‘stoked,’ and also, there’s no guarantee we’ll get back together. He might not even want to see me, and I won’t force him.” He mumbled, staring at the tops of his dress shoes. He heard the blonde groan into his ear and push away. 

 

“He’s been buried in his office for the past week, he needs social interaction. Plus, you look hot today. He’ll definitely listen.” She stated as she tugged him out of the elevator and towards Evan’s office. 

 

“You sound confident.” He conceded, tendrils of nervousness creeping into his stomach. 

 

“I’m faking it. Now get in there.” She said as she ushered him into the room. Connor gave her a parting glare before entering the office. The lights were still off and the room looked too vacated to be used recently. 

 

“Evan?” He tried, shooting Zoe a concerned look. At his distress, she entered as well. After a quick investigation, Connor concluded that the blond was indeed not there. He turned to his sister with contained anger. 

 

“I thought you said he hadn’t left his office in a week?” He seethed. Zoe looked just as shocked as he felt. 

 

“He hasn’t. Maybe he’s passed out on Jared’s couch?” She guessed, pacing down the hall. Connor was hot on her heels, determined to find what was his. Hopefully. That was the plan, right? 

 

Before he could even make it halfway down the hall, a voice called out from the coffee bar. Connor couldn’t contain his growl of frustration. 

 

“Hey, Murphy!” Both siblings whipped around to face the CEO of _Kleinman Corporations_. Jared groaned.

 

“Not you, Pop Star. I’m talking to you, dickwad. You don’t work here anymore, remember?” Jared yelled as he poured a cup of coffee for himself. Why he wasn’t having his intern do it was anyone’s guess.

 

“How fast do you think your bodyguards can run?” Connor retorted, a mean smirk pulling at his lips. 

 

“What the hell does that have to do with anything?” Jared returned as he walked closer to the sibling duo.

 

“I wanna know if I’ll wreck my suit when I have to outrun them because I punched you in the fucking jaw.” Jared quickly retreated behind Zoe, who gave Connor a parental stare. 

 

“Stop, this isn’t going to help your case.” She muttered. Turning to Jared, she placed her delicately manicured hands on her hips. “Where’s Evan?” She asked, blunt as ever. Jared raised a surprised eyebrow and carefully stepped out from behind the blonde.

 

“He didn’t tell you? Aren’t you guys like, Best Friends 5ever or something?” He asked as he carefully sipped at his drink. Zoe’s face crumpled with annoyance and she shook her head. 

 

“What do you mean?” 

 

“He’s not here.” Jared replied cryptically. Connor threw his hands up in frustration.

 

“Well, no shit!” He cried, pacing away from the man before he made real of his threat. Jared shrugged. 

 

“Rude. Hey, you know what else is rude?” He asked, leaning back against the wall with ease. Connor turned wild eyes on the owner. 

 

 _“What?”_ He spat.

 

“Showing up at your previous place of employment without even bringing me coffee and a scone.” Jared quipped. This time, Zoe groaned and held Connor back.

 

“I’m actually going to kill him, Zo.” Connor whispered into her ear. Her eyes widened and she whispered angrily in reply. 

 

“You better not, stop being an asshole.” 

 

“But seriously though, why are you here?” Jared asked seriously. Connor felt himself nearing the end of his rope. 

 

“Because he’s not returning any of my phone calls and I had no other way of getting him to talk to me!” He yelled, slamming his fist against a random office door. He heard a chuckle from behind him.

 

“Evan’s ghosting you? Wow, I didn’t think he had it in him.” The CEO said proudly as he shook his head with amusement. Connor really couldn’t see what was so amusing about his current situation. 

 

“Jared, for the love of all that is good in this fucked up world, _please_ tell me where Evan is.” Connor asked, as close to begging as he’d ever get. Jared stared at him with a protectiveness Connor had never associated with the man. 

 

“Why should I, huh? You’re the reason he went home to his mom’s house… _fuck.”_ Jared face palmed as he gave away Evan’s location without thinking it through. Connor felt his face pale. 

 

“His mom’s house?!” Connor yelled, tangling his hands into his already messy hair. Jared began walking to his office.

 

“That was really fucking stupid of me, but you won’t be getting anymore information regarding my adorable accountant, so fuck off.” Jared replied blithely as he took a seat behind his desk. The siblings followed in hot pursuit. 

 

“Get out, Murphy.” Jared said as he looked between the two. The siblings looked between each other before staring back at the man. 

 

“Fuck, not you, Murphy, the other Murphy.” He said, pointing at the designer. 

 

“You, Murphy.” He pointed at Zoe. “I’m sure Alana doesn’t pay you to play translator for your brother. You should probably go make out with her before she gets mad.” Jared said, more heat behind his words than usual. The blonde woman almost leapt across the desk, but Connor caught her just in time. Down to his final prayer, he tried a last resort. 

 

“Listen, I know you hate my guts right now-”

 

“I do-”

 

“-but you gotta let me try to make things right between me and Evan. I know I fucked up, but I know how to fix it. Please.” Connor said, azure eyes turned to the floor. Jared looked skeptical. 

 

“Why should I? What guarantee do I have that you won’t break his heart again because you’re a fucking idiot?” He seethed. Connor rolled his eyes.

 

“Okay, I kind of deserved that, but I care about Evan just as much as you do.” Jared didn’t look all that convinced, so Connor swallowed his pride and met his eyes with a confidence he didn’t feel.

 

“I may be an asshole, but I’m honest. I never meant to hurt him the way I did, but I did, and I can’t take that back. But if you tell me where he is, I’ll do everything in my power to make sure he never feels that way again. Whatever I do from now on, it’s for him. He’s seen the worst, so let him see the best.” Connor concluded, staring Jared down like a hawk. The CEO cocked a brow in thought. 

 

“If you hurt him again, am I allowed to punch you in the face with no repercussions?” He asked, eyes alight with amusement. Connor groaned.

 

“Only if you get it in writing.” 

 

“Perfect, I’ll have my intern fax it to your office!” Jared said as he pulled out his phone and began texting furiously. Connor rolled his eyes and looked at Zoe in annoyance. She shrugged, a small frown tugging at her lips and she mouthed an, _‘I don’t know, anymore.’_

 

The sound of a phone slamming down on the table made the siblings turn back to Jared. He had a cocky smile on his face as he motioned for them to come closer. 

 

“Alright, Murphy. Since I’m feeling extra charitable today, I’m letting you take my private jet out for a spin. It’s keyed up to Evan’s hometown, where a town car should be waiting to take you to his mom’s house. God, this sounds like trashy reality TV.” 

 

“Cool, I haven’t seen Heidi in a while.” Zoe said in excitement. The two men turned to stare at her in annoyance. 

 

“Not you, Murphy, the other Murphy. Jesus, it’s like I need to use first names or something.” Jared mumbled. Connor quickly thanked him and sprinted out the door. He made record time as he hopped out of the elevator and almost got hit by an oncoming motorist as he tried to hail a cab. He barely had the airport name out of his mouth before the taxi was weaving through traffic. Usually, the driving would make the brunet carsick, but he didn’t have time to process his nauseous stomach. 

 

In just a few short hours, he would be reunited with his Evan, and they could work it out and be happy again. 

 

They could be happy again, right? 

 

_Shit._

 

What if this was all one big mistake. What if Evan refused to let him in? Connor raked his hands through his hair. He’d have to be persistent. He wasn’t above getting a hotel and camping out until Evan finally agreed to talk to him.

 

But what if that drove him away? The last thing Connor wanted to do was push him until he was out of reach. 

 

Maybe Evan would be happy to see him, though? Maybe he missed Connor as much as Connor missed him? 

 

Maybe Connor would end up at a bar if this all went to shit. 

 

* * *

 

Connor vaguely remembers how he got here. The plane ride was a fuzzy memory at best, and the car ride even more so. The brunet figures it doesn’t really matter all that much, anyways. 

 

He’s standing on a country style porch that’s tastefully decorated with patio furniture. The homely light blue house looks inviting to any outsider, but to Connor, it feels like a mixture between Heaven and Hell. He can see this going one of two ways. 

 

The best possible scenario is he’ll knock on the door and Evan will open it and throw himself into Connor’s waiting arms, and Connor can take him up to his twin bed and show him just how much he cares, or…

 

The worst case scenario, Evan opens the door and shoots at him while Connor ducks down the street. 

 

The brunet shook his head. He wasn’t quite sure what state he was in, but he was pretty sure it wasn’t Iowa. 

 

Mustering the remains of his courage, he shakily knocked on the door. He could hear shuffling footsteps inside and the turn of the lock before he’s staring down at a middle aged woman with blonde hair. 

 

Connor’s not sure why he’s surprised, but she looks like Evan. 

 

He watches as her tired eyes stare at him with confusion before igniting in what Connor can only guess is shock. Before he even has time to introduce himself and who he’s looking for, his head is lurched to the side by the force of her hand. He barely has time to register his stinging cheek before he’s encased in a warm hug. He was almost tempted to return it, but his head felt like it was stuffed with wool. The most he can get out is a quiet groan. 

 

“…ow.” He muttered, tossing his head back to get his stubborn fridge out of his eyes. The woman pulled back and gave him a hard stare. 

 

“I don’t know if I should hug you or hit you, again.” She stated, hands clenched slightly in thought. Connor took a precautionary step backwards. 

 

“If you’re going to hit me again, at least use the other cheek. This is the second time someone’s hit me in the face in the past two days.” He murmured, rubbing at the red mark that was forming. Heidi gave him a hard stare before ushering him in off the porch. He complied, mostly afraid that she’d make real of her promise to smack some sense into him, again. 

 

He followed her into the kitchen, where she prepared him a cup of tea and a muffin. Sliding them in front of the man, she let him take a sip before beginning her interrogation. Connor took a seat at the island so he could cradle his head. 

 

“I really hope you’re Connor Murphy, or else I’m going to look crazy for slapping a complete stranger.” She said, humor creeping into her voice. Connor huffed and shook his head. 

 

“You must be Heidi.” He responded, cradling the warm mug in his hands. She nodded and took a sip of her own. “I must say, this isn’t how I intended our first meeting to go.” Connor said with a slight tilt of his lips. The blonde woman huffed and rolled her eyes.

 

“I get a bit _‘protective’_ over my son.” She responded cooly, eyeing the brunet up and down. Connor looked down in shame and picked at a corner of his muffin. 

 

“Good, he needs someone like you in his corner.” He said, not quite sure how to respond. Heidi raised an eyebrow. 

 

“I’m surprised to hear you say that.” She said cryptically. Connor shrugged. 

 

“Just, tell me truthfully. How much of an asshole does he think I am, right now?” He asked, not bothering to disguise the disgust in his voice. Heidi rounded the corner of the island to join him. 

 

“Not as much as you’d think.” She said. Connor’s head shot up at the comment. 

 

“Really?” He asked, allowing the hope to creep into his voice. Heidi nodded and gave him a sad smile. Connor felt his stomach drop into his shoes.

 

“Please tell me he’s not blaming himself for me being an asshole.” Connor begged, eyes stinging. Heidi sighed and took his hands in her’s. 

 

“You know how he can be.” She mumbled, looking down in sadness. Connor silently mouthed an explicit word before turning back to Heidi. 

 

“It’s my fault. I’m the one who filled his head with the idea that I was just going to leave because he wasn’t _hot enough_ or something, I don’t know, but-” He growled but didn’t pull his hands away from Heidi. “-I made him so nervous about our relationship that he couldn’t tell me what was actually bothering him, and then I had to be a dumbass and freak out like I always do, and-”

 

_He wasn’t crying, nope. That was sweat dripping down his face, definitely not tears, no, sir._

 

“-and now it’s my fault that he has to take a vacation ‘cause he doesn’t deal with stress well, God, I’m a shitty boyfriend, this is why I don’t date, because I end up hurting the people I lo-”

 

Heidi cut off his ramblings with a finger to his lips. He looked up with watery eyes to meet her soft baby blues. They looked just like Evan’s. 

 

_Great, now he was sobbing even harder. What was it about The Hansen’s that made him cry so easily?_

 

“It sounds like both of you have some issues you need to discuss together.” She responded wisely. Connor shrugged helplessly and went back to picking at his muffin. He hoped she couldn’t see him as he discreetly wiped at his tears. 

 

“Connor, I’ve also never seen my son this heartbroken-”

 

“-I’m sorry, I’m an idiot-” She cut him off with a stern look.

 

“-but I’ve also never seen him this happy. You don’t think I didn’t noticed when his texts and emails suddenly got so optimistic?” Connor glanced at her, not quite believing his ears. “I might have also been chatting with your sister over Instagram, but you two sounded so good for each other. She tells me that Evan’s been less anxious at the office, and that he doesn’t bite his nails as often. I assume that’s contributed to you?” She asked curiously. Connor shrugged. 

 

“I guess… I don’t know. I’ve been to therapy enough to know what works.” He mumbled. Heidi smiled encouragingly. 

 

“Whatever the case, you _have_ helped him…and hurt him. But I’m assuming that you showing up on my doorstep in the middle of the afternoon means you want to help him again?” The brunet nodded delicately. 

 

“Yes, ma’am.” Jesus, when was the last time he’d been so polite? Heidi hummed and took another sip. 

 

“Good. He’s at the old orchard down the road. I think it’s called Autumn Smiles. You can’t miss it.” She said as she took his discarded cup and washed it in the sink. Connor stood with a determined glint in his eyes. 

 

“Thanks.” He mumbled as he stalked toward the door. 

 

“I’ll be meeting with a girlfriend at two, so you kids will have the house to yourselves until dinner.” She said with a knowing wink. Connor felt his face heat up slightly as he turned the doorknob and headed down the road. Heidi rolled her eyes good-naturedly. 

 

Evan sure knew how to pick ‘em. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been weird not writing Connor and Evan in the same scenes together. Thank God they'll be together next chapter. 
> 
> Also, Heidi's a motherfucking queen, bless the fuck up. 
> 
> Have a great week, guys! I love your comments and kudos, they make me a happy camper! Love you all! <3


	19. Evan Makes A Sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys work it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys, ahh, we got more fan art and it's so cute and i love it so much!!!! it's by reallifeninarosario on tumblr, please go follow and share the love <3 she drew the scene from chapter 11 when the boys first get to the vacation home. 
> 
> i'm on the floor i'm so happy, send help....

“It’s not so impossible. Nobody else, but the two of us, here. Cause you’re saying it’s possible. We could just watch the whole world disappear. Til you’re the only one I still know how to see. It’s just you and me.” Evan hummed under his breath as the cool air nipped at his nose. 

 

Zoe had sent him the demo of the song a couple of days ago, and the catchy tune had decided to remain steadfast in his subconscious.  The blond wanted to hate the woman for writing a song that was impossible not to sing along to, but he really couldn’t. If anything, he hated her for the fact that it reminded him of Connor. 

 

_Speaking of Connor…_

 

Evan had left his mother’s house about an hour ago, as the glaring amount of messages on his phone were starting to eat at his sanity. The accountant had dug himself into a mental pit trying to decide what the best course of action would be. Should he respond to Connor and see what he had to say? Should he ignore Connor and continue on with his pathetic existence? Was Connor only calling to get the DVDs he left at Evan’s apartment? 

 

Oh, God. He’d forgotten to return Connor’s DVDs! Now, Connor was probably mad and hated him for keeping his only copy of Star Wars, and he’d probably glare at him with disgust if he went to return it, and Evan wouldn’t be able to deal with that. But, wait! What if Connor wanted to apologize and get back together? Dream Connor did say that he should think about it. Maybe he should think about it. Would that make him pathetic for wanting to get back together? He loved the man, for Christ’s sake-

 

_Stop. Breath._

 

Evan took a deep breath and planted himself against the side of a tall oak tree. The rough bark against his fingertips acted as an anchor, and the blond felt himself slowly tracing the patterns. Blocking out all thoughts of his ex, he let his gaze wander the horizon. 

 

Overgrown brush framed the canopy of trees, and he remembered why he had loved to come here as a teenager. It was so easy to go unseen. If a person weren’t actively looking, they would miss the nervous boy huddled into a nook of a tree. 

 

He had always found the abandoned orchard calming, and even after several years, the same principles still applied. Evan had needed to get away from Heidi’s sad looks and his constant need to look at his phone. 

 

Out here, he could just be. And that’s all he wanted to do. He just wanted to be a guy taking a nice, quiet walk through an abandoned orchard and not have to pretend that his reality was slowly unraveling. For a few hours, he could be Evan, a man listening to the wildlife and taking in the forgotten beauty of the trees. 

 

A low hanging branch caught his attention. Walking over, he put his weight on it to test the durability. When it barely dipped under his weight, a stray thought caught his attention. Chuckling at the nostalgia of the situation, he hoisted himself up onto the branch and into the tree. Maybe it was because he was twenty-eight and hadn’t climbed a tree in eleven years, but he couldn’t remember it being this difficult. The blond had been so dexterous in his younger years, scaling the trees as if it were his job. Well, it kind of had been, as a junior park ranger, but that wasn’t the point. 

 

When he was comfortably situated into a nook, he gazed out between the branches. The sun shined down in patches, lazily creating patterns of light on his jeans. Evan chuckled and traced a patch as his eyes slowly closed. He hardly ever felt calm enough to just sit and be, and he’d take the much needed personal time to meditate before heading back to New York. 

 

Evan could feel the cusps of sleep plying for his attention, and he granted himself a reprieve. If he were being honest, he needed a power nap before heading back to Heidi’s. The blond was falling in and out of consciousness when a rustling from below shattered the silence. Usually, the animals weren’t enough to startle the blond, but Evan was pretty sure he’d never heard an animal mutter, _‘fuck,’_ either. 

 

Looking down was a mistake, because he almost fell out of the tree due to shock. 

 

Connor Murphy was currently picking himself off the ground and wiping dirt from his suit pants. Evan held in his gasp and inched as close to the end of the branch as he could without being seen. 

 

“What is he doing here?” Evan whispered to himself as he peered between the foliage. From his vantage point, Evan could see that Connor was sporting a charcoal grey suit with a light blue tie. He cocked a brow, confused as to why the brunet would ever wander around an orchard in dress shoes.

 

_‘He’s here to see you, idiot.’_ His conscious supplied. The blond couldn’t even be mad at the rude remark, as he was too stunned by the revelation. 

 

_“Wow, he must really want his DVDs back.”_ Evan thought before mentally slapping himself upside the head. Maybe being in this tree was reverting him back to his teenage self, which was something he really hoped couldn’t happen. Forcing himself to think rationally, he went over possible scenarios in his head.

 

_“Dear Evan Hansen,”_

 

He bit his lip. Why were his thoughts starting to sound like his therapy letters? He needed to get out of this tree, and fast.

 

“ _Okay, Connor’s in your hometown and he’s in the orchard. That means he must have talked to Jared, who gave him your address, which means he’s been to your house. Shit, that means he’s talked to mom…”_

 

_“God, I hope she didn’t slap him…she probably slapped him, if the way he’s rubbing his cheek is anything to go by. But why would he come all this way to find me? I’d be back in New York in about a week, he could have waited…but I’ve been avoiding his texts, he was probably worried. Worried about me… that’s good, right?”_

 

Evan wished he had the answer. Connor walked past his tree, and Evan leaned forward to get a better look at the handsome man. The brunet was walking away, going further into the orchard. 

 

_“Your best and most totally screwed friend, me.”_

 

Evan could just make out the back of Connor’s head. He silently debated on whether announcing his presence would land him deeper into the hole he was digging when a sickening snap rang out. He had moved too far out on a branch that could no longer support his weight. Evan barely had enough time to think before he was falling. He’s pretty sure he screamed, but it was hard to tell when all he could picture were flashbacks of bare casts and mocking eyes. 

 

Squeezing his eyes tightly shut, he waited for the hard ground to absorb him. Except, the impact he was expecting never came. What did come, however, were arms wrapping around him and a soft exclamation of, _“Ev!”_

 

_Huh._

 

Evan didn’t remember it happening like that last time. He opened his eyes just in time to watch as he and Connor tumbled to the ground, Connor absorbing most the of the impact. The brunet had his arms wrapped tightly around Evan’s waist, and the blond clung to him like a lifeline. He was breathing shallowly, but other than a few bruises from the branches, he was perfectly fine. 

 

With a disbelieving gasp, Evan stared up at his rescuer. Connor still had his eyes closed, but there was a pained smile on his face. 

 

“Are you falling for me, Evan Hansen?” He chuckled weakly at his own joke. Evan gasped before pulling himself from the brunet’s arms and fretting over him.

 

“Oh, my God, Connor! A-Are you okay?! Of course you’re not okay, you caught me falling out of a tree, _shit-”_

 

“Ev, breath.” He gasped as he slowly pulled himself into a sitting position. The blond stopped his ramblings long enough to check for any broken bones before launching into another monologue.

 

“This is all my fault, if I hadn’t of been leaning over the branch-” Connor cut him off with a wave of his hand.

 

“It’s fine. You weren’t that high up. You just knocked the wind outta me.” The brunet said with a mischievous smile. “Besides, it’s like that one saying about how the universe provides. I was looking for you and you fell right into my lap.” He said, giving Evan’s hand another squeeze. The accountant blushed and stared at their intertwined fingers. 

 

“I-I’m not on your lap.” He replied, as he couldn’t think of anything else to say. Connor chuckled quietly.

 

“Not yet, at least.” He leaned in for a kiss, but Evan was quick to dodge the advancement. It was probably just his anxiety talking, but Connor made it sound like he only missed him for his body. The thought caused his stomach to churn with disgust. 

 

“What are you doing?!” Evan panicked took a few paces back. Connor stared at him in confusion. He pulled himself to his feet as well.

 

“Trying to kiss you?” The brunet said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Evan could feel his fingers begin to shake.

 

“We aren’t dating, anymore. Coworkers don’t just try to kiss each other to be friendly.” Evan could feel his willpower to resist the man dissipating, and he needed to walk away before he did something he’d regret. He wasn’t going to be one of those people who ended up in their ex’s bed time and time again, holding onto hope that they’d have their interests returned. 

 

“Last time I checked, we weren’t coworkers anymore. So, what’s the problem with kissing someone I missed _like fucking crazy?”_ Connor walked toward the blond, trapping him between his body and the tree. He wasn’t invading the blond’s personal space, but it would take some maneuvering for Evan to escape.  

 

_‘Stay strong. Stay strong! No matter how appealing he makes kissing him seem.’_

 

With a courageous shove, the blond pushed Connor away and started walking down the path toward the exit of the orchard. He turned around to see the brunet’s dumbstruck expression. 

 

“Do you seriously think that just because you came to my hometown and caught me from falling out of a tree, that I’m just going to give you a second chance?” Evan turned with a huff and matched down the beaten trail. He could hear Connor running after him, but he ignored it. 

 

“Kind of! You weren’t returning any of my calls. What was I supposed to do?” Connor rebutted, having almost caught up to the accountant. 

 

“Did you ever stop to think about why I wasn’t returning your calls?” Evan shot back, not even bothering to look at the designer. 

 

“Stop avoiding the issue! I’m trying to fix this!” Evan stopped his speed walking to face the brunet.

 

“By stalking and then yelling at me?!” The blond screamed. Any hope he had of fixing their relationship was slowly slipping down the drain. He wasn’t even sure what they were really fighting over, anymore. 

 

“When you say it like that, it sounds fucking creeping!” Connor yelled, running his hands through his hair. Evan huffed.

 

“Because it is!” The blond turned and kept walking. He just wanted to make it back to his house in one piece and curl up under the covers, and Connor was making that very difficult. “I don’t know why you couldn’t have just stayed in New York and waited for me to get back!” 

 

“Because I went to your office to apologize and you weren’t there! And then fucking Kleinman walked in with his stupid jokes and threats and he offered me his jet and I thought, sure, why the fuck not? Evan’ll appreciate this! But you clearly don’t!

 

“Why do you think I’d want you to show up in a place where I’m trying to avoid you?!”

 

“I don’t know, okay?! I just thought… I thought…” He trailed off, all fight leaving the brunet in a quick wave. Evan watched as he deflated on himself. 

 

“You thought?” When Connor didn’t respond, Evan rolled his eyes and turned to leave.

 

“I thought if I came here and told you I loved you, maybe you wouldn’t see me as a complete piece of shit and take me back.”

 

“What?!” Evan screeched, whipping back around in total shock. He could feel himself tense up and his fingers clenched at his sides. Connor looked up with conviction written all over his handsome face. 

 

“I love you, okay? _I love you._ It took me way longer than it should have to say, but it’s true.” He said. Evan looked hard into Connor’s eyes, searching for any traces of doubt or uncertainty. He came up empty. 

 

“You-I-we-” He stuttered, his brain not able to process everything Connor was throwing at him. The brunet took a tentative step closer, hands extended like he planned on embracing the blond.

 

“I chased you all the way from New York because I’m a lovestruck idiot who didn’t know how to interpret his feelings until you left, and I couldn’t wait until you got back because I have poor impulse control.” Connor looked almost bashful at the statement, but not ashamed. If anything, he looked proud at the fact that he managed to track the blond down in such a short amount of time.  

 

“Y-Y-You-” Evan was sure his face was red and his palms were sweating. His throat felt like it was closing up, and every word he tried to speak choked him a little bit more. 

 

“You have no fucking reason to take me back, but just hear me out, okay?” Evan could only nod, as he couldn’t really speak at the moment, any how. Connor steadied himself, getting ready for a speech that could make or break his future with Evan. 

 

“I’ve lived as a happy-go-lucky whore for a third of my life because I was totally cool with dying alone. But then you came along and knocked me on my ass and showed me that it totally sucked dying alone.” He took a breath a snuck a peak at the blond. He looked shocked, but he wasn’t running away anymore, so Connor took it as a sign to continue. 

 

“I know the idea of having a soulmate is really fucking cliche, but I think if I did have one, it’d be you. You get me in ways that not even Zoe does, and it seriously feels like I’m missing apart of myself when you’re not with me, and I hate it, I really fucking hate it.” Connor rubbed at the bridge of his nose. He couldn’t tell if he was making any sense at all. Looking at Evan helped ground him, so he took another breath and kept going. 

 

“I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m Connor Murphy. I’m an impulsive bastard with anger issues and depression, but I’m trying. I’m trying so hard because you deserve to be with someone who sees how amazing you are.” 

 

Even if Evan rejected him and sent him back to New York with his tail between his legs, he wanted the blond to know how he saw him. He deserved someone who didn’t make him cry, and held his hand in large crowds, and kissed him softly on the lips when no one was looking. He needed someone to fight for him and laugh with him and comfort him when his anxiety got bad. He needed…

 

“Connor, no, I’m not-” Evan said breathily, trying hard to dispel the compliments. The brunet shook his head and closed the remaining distance between them to take his hands in his. 

 

“Yes, you are, because I’ve watched you these past couple of months. I _know_ you. You actually give a fuck about people’s feelings and genuinely want to help them. You care about your friends and family more than anything in the world. You’re smart and secretly funny and kind of a dork, and I can’t get enough. Even with your anxiety, you’ve accomplished more than your therapists ever thought you would, but I think you’re fucking perfect the way you are… And I’m stupid for not realizing how much I was hurting you.” Connor rasped, holding his breath as his stared into Evan’s watery eyes. Why did Connor feel like his eyes were stinging as well? He had cried more in the last month than he had in the last few years, and he was sick of having to wipe away the proof that he did indeed have emotions. 

 

“You’ve seen the worst of me, now let me show you the best. I’ll give it all to you, if you’ll take it. I won’t hold anything back. You’ve got me for life, baby.” He ended, throwing the last of his cards on the table. Connor looked at Evan with pleading eyes, squeezing his hands to keep the blond in place. If Evan walked away from him, he felt like he might actually fall apart. 

 

“Say something…” He pleaded, giving Evan’s hands a small squeeze. Tears were streaming down Evan’s face, but a sunny smile broke through. He returned Connor’s gaze with mirth, squeezing his hands back.  

 

“You think I’m kind of a dork?” He joked quietly, leaning forward slightly. Connor felt himself mirror the position, his hair falling like a curtain. Evan bit his lip shyly. 

 

“That’s the only thing you got out of my heartfelt speech?” He murmured, leaning forward to connect their lips. Evan sighed and leaned into the kiss. 

 

For once, Evan’s heart didn’t feel like it was going to beat out of his chest. If anything, he was positive it was beating in time with Connor’s. It felt like home. When the blond pulled back for air, Connor pulled him right back in for a crushing hug. He buried his head into Evan’s shoulder and sighed in relief. 

 

“I still love you.” Evan murmured against Connor’s hair. The designer melted against him. 

 

“Thank God.” Connor couldn’t express the amount of relief that statement brought him. Without a hesitating beat, he reconnected their lips and kissed Evan intensely. He had missed him more than he’d ever be able to put into words, and he could sense that Evan felt the same. Connor tentatively licked at the blond’s lips until he opened his mouth. The brunet gently took Evan’s bottom lip between his own and bit down, making the blond sigh and give himself over to Connor’s ministrations. 

 

The designer kissed at the seam of Evan’s mouth, and Evan decided to give back everything Connor had taken. He grabbed Connor by the lapels and brought him down to his height, kissing him with an urgency he couldn’t place. Connor obliged and let Evan take control. The blond made good of his promise and kissed him within an inch of his life. Connor couldn’t remember a time when kissing had felt so good. Before he could shove Evan against the tree and really show him how good of a kisser he could be, the blond pulled back with a slight frown.

 

“Connor, we still need to talk about our problems. Those aren’t going to magically disappear just because we’re getting back together.” He said, looking regretful for bringing the topic up. Connor didn’t really want to focus on what needed to be focused on. 

 

_‘We’re getting back together? We’re getting back together!’_ Connor’s mind screamed, instead. He would have started jumping around like a little kid if that wouldn’t have been mortifying. 

 

_What? He still had a bad boy reputation to uphold._

 

Looking down at his boyfriend, _boyfriend, wow,_ he growled and curled his lips up in a mischievous smile. 

 

“Save those for later. Live in the now, and let me show you just how much I missed you.” 

 

“Connor!-” Evan was cut off by the brunet’s lips on his. 

 

He was weak, he was so weak. Going without Connor’s kisses had been hell, and he was powerless to resist. The brunet pulled back with a smirk. 

 

“You know, your mom mentioned the house would be empty ’til six.” He said with a cheeky smirk. 

 

Evan threw his head back and laughed. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bam! the boys are back together, wow, that only took like, 4 chapters to do. it's pretty much all fluff from here on out.   
> I have about 4-5 chapters left, so the story is winding down to an end, but it's been real. :) 
> 
> As always, enjoy your week and be the best you you can be!


	20. When You're Fucking In A Forest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys show how much they missed each other and then talk it out over pizza.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm going to regret that chapter title, i just know it.... whatever, we're earning that explicit tag rating today

Evan wants to believe that he and Connor could have made it back to his house, due to the fact that they were responsible, level-headed adults. 

 

Not that the thought of sex in a twin bed was all that appealing to the blond, but he was pretty sure they were going to get caught for indecent exposure. That thought was quickly thrown out of the window when Connor shoved him against a tree and kissed feverishly up his neck. Evan rationalized that they were in an abandoned orchard, so the chances of someone finding them while they were in a compromising position were pretty low. 

 

“Oh, God. I missed you.” Connor growled as he brought their hips together. Evan could already feel the brunet’s interest, and did nothing to discourage him as he offered his neck in submission. Connor could feel his cock pulse as he lapped against the tender skin. Evan mewled softly and allowed himself to melt against the designer. 

 

“-missed you, too.” Evan murmured as he placed a quick kiss to Connor’s cheek. The brunet could feel heat building in his chest, and a nagging feeling in the back of his head screamed for his attention. He knew Evan had agreed to be his boyfriend again, but he needed _more._ Connor wanted to put his claim on Evan, show the world who the blond belonged to and make him blush every time he laid eyes on the purpling bruises. 

 

In a show of force, he pinned Evan against the tree, bracketing his arms above his head. Evan bit his lip, but his eyes were alive with passion. Once upon a time, the dominant affections would have frightened him. Now, he’d gladly give himself over to the brunet. 

 

“Who do you belong to?” Connor whispered, eyes burning. Evan felt his chest tighten. 

 

“You, only you.” Evan replied just as softly, his answer so open and honest that Connor felt his heart clench. 

 

He grabbed Evan by the jaw and forcefully brought their mouths together. Their teeth clicked awkwardly, but they ignored it in favor of devouring the other’s mouth. Connor roughly pushed Evan’s head back and took hold of the short hair at his nape. 

 

“You’re _mine,_ understand?” He growled, teeth barred. Evan bit his lip and nodded, his eyes alive with want. Connor surged forward and ripped the casual t-shirt from Evan’s body. The blond’s nipples hardened as they met the cool breeze, but he arched into the sensation all the same. The brunet tried to conceal his lusty groan. 

 

“You’re so beautiful like this. So needy for me.” Connor said as he gently flicked the hardened peaks. Evan blushed a pretty shade of scarlet and lowered his head in bashfulness. Seeing this, Connor hooked a finger under his chin. “I want you to look at me while a take you apart.” He ordered as he rubbed a thumb over Evan’s red lips. The blond nodded and gave the finger a gentle kiss. Connor smirked devilishly and let his hand slip down to caress Evan’s collarbones with featherlight touches. Evan whimpered and tried to push into the touch. Connor wasn’t having it though, only tracing the lines of Evan’s body lightly. 

 

When he reached the blond’s belt, he made quick work of discarding the rest of his lover’s clothes and shoes. Evan shivered but didn’t complain. His cock stood proudly against his pale skin, and Connor licked his lips like it was the tastiest thing in the world. 

 

He lazily traced a finger from base to head, giving the tip and quick flick. Evan silently shuddered, looking at Connor with pleading eyes. Growing border, he snapped his gaze to the designer’s. 

 

“I thought you were going to show me just how much you missed me?” He murmured as he pushed up into Connor’s hand. The brunet chuckled mischievously. He brought his hips to Evan’s and let him feel just how much he missed him. As much as he would have loved to shove Evan to his knees and make him beg, he more than anything wanted to make his boyfriend feel good. 

 

Evan keened at the feeling of the stiff fabric against his bare cock, and he rubbed against it desperately. To give the blond a better angle, he shoved him against the tough bark of the tree and grabbed the globes of his ass to hoist him upwards. The blond moaned desperately and arched into Connor, lower lip clamped tightly between his teeth. Connor canted his hips upward and allowed Evan to take the reins as he took as much friction as he could get. 

 

The feeling of Connor’s clothed dick on his was driving him crazy. Every time Evan got a particularly good thrust in, Connor would squeeze his ass harder and guide him for the next movement. He could feel his precum staining the front of Connor’s pants, and he was sure Connor could feel it, too. The brunet didn’t seem to mind though. In fact, he encouraged it. 

 

Connor kissed up Evan’s neck and lightly nipped at his earlobe. Evan hummed, more distracted by the growing pleasure in his abdomen. When Connor spoke into his ear, he almost jumped in surprise. 

 

“So good for me, so desperate. I could make you cum like this, couldn’t I? Naked and rutting against me like an animal.” Connor breathed, his warm breath making Evan’s ear tickle. The blond turned glazed eyes on the brunet. 

 

“But you won’t.” He said matter-of-factly. Connor chuckled. 

 

“You’re right, I won’t. Now suck.” He instructed, holding up three fingers. Without hesitation, Evan took the digits into his mouth and laved his tongue over them. Connor could feel his cock twitch at the sensation. God, the thought of Evan’s mouth on him sounded like Heaven. The blond popped the fingers from his mouth and wiped at a trail of saliva that was dripping down his chin. Connor gulped. He’d never seen such a lustful expression on the man before. 

 

“Good boy.” He murmured, reconnecting their hips. Evan hummed and created his own rhythm, Connor following behind. The blond was just starting to pick up the pace when a tentative finger rubbed at his entrance. He shuddered, his hips shoving a bit more forcefully into Connor’s. 

 

The brunet eased him into it, allowing Evan to reset his rhythm before circling his hole and pushing in. The blond shuddered softly but didn’t complain, trying to match his thrusts to Connor’s fingers. 

 

The first finger hadn’t felt so bad, the stretch of having something inside of him again feeling foreign. Evan brought his hands up and ran them through Connor’s hair. The silky strands felt nice against his hands, and he gave them a sharp pull. Connor groaned in surprise and canted his hips sharply. Evan’s eyes rolled back. He took hold of the brunet’s ass as Connor raised his leg over his hip to get a better angle. 

 

The second finger slid in easier, and Evan tried in vain to get more friction from Connor’s pants. The brunet scissored his fingers, massaging the contracting muscles and making Evan pant into his shoulder. Hitching Evan’s leg higher over his hip, he pushed his fingers in to the last knuckle. He could feel Evan tense before accepting the probing digits. From there, Connor was merciless. Though he let Evan believe he had some semblance of control, he worked the blond over until he was a sweating, panting mess. 

 

“C-Connor…” Evan murmured, bottom lip red from his incessant biting to keep himself quiet. The brunet crooked his fingers and used his other hand to grab the blond by the jaw. Staring into Evan’s lidded eyes, he let a stern look pass over his sharp features. 

 

“I want to hear how good I make you feel, got it? Every moan I wring from your body is mine, understand?” He ordered, watching as Evan’s eyes widened in surprise. His lust quickly consumed him though, and the blond nodded eagerly.

 

“Your’s, all your’s.” He parroted as he tried to bring his body as close to Connor’s as physically possible. Connor didn’t think his cock was capable of getting any harder, but hearing Evan’s affirmation only fueled the heat growing in his stomach. The designer pushed the blond against the tree, feeling the tough bark bite into Evan’s skin. His lover gasped but didn’t complain at the rough treatment. 

 

“You’ve been so good, love. So good.” Connor mumbled as he search for the little spot inside Evan that would make him scream. The blond was enjoying the teasing fingers until Connor moved them just so. 

 

“Ah! C-Con, oh- oh!” Evan panted, moving his hands from Connor’s ass to take ahold of his shoulders. The blond looked like he was holding on for dear life, his eyes screwed shut with pleasure. Connor smirked and rubbed the little nub with agonizingly slow caresses. 

 

“You’re so beautiful like this… Maybe I should tease you for a few hours? I could draw out your orgasm until you’re crying and begging me for your release.” The brunet growled as he licked a strip of Evan’s neck. He felt the blond shudder and shake him head. 

 

“N-No, please. I couldn’t take it.” Evan murmured as his fingers clutched Connor’s shoulders harder. Connor grabbed the hairs at Evan’s nape and pulled back. 

 

“You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for, love. I think I could finger you open until you were dripping and begging for more of my fingers.” Connor teased, nipping little kisses along his boyfriend’s jaw. Evan made a whining noise low in his throat. 

 

“Don’t tease me.” He breathed, the leg over Connor’s hip shaking in excursion. 

 

“Only if you tell me what you want.” Connor replied lowly, the pupils of his eyes so blown that only a cool ring of blue could be seen. He watched as Evan’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. His barriers had fallen, because the words out of his mouth shocked even Connor. 

 

“I want you to pick me up and fuck me against this tree like you own me.” He growled, rolling his hips against Connor’s in an undeniable show of seduction. Connor thought he might come in his pants. 

 

“You got it, babe.” Connor growled and picked the blond up by his hips. Evan whimpered and wrapped his legs around the brunet’s hips. With deft movements, Connor had the head of his cock against Evan’s hole. He rubbed at it expectantly, and Evan eagerly moved to try and push the brunet’s head in. Connor could feel his precome dripping in between Evan’s ass cheeks, and he bit off a groan. With a deep breath, he shoved the head of his cock into Evan’s pliable warmth. The blond’s breath hitched and he leaned his head against his boyfriend’s shoulder. Connor couldn’t get over the fact that Evan was shaking like it was the best feeling in the world. At this point, it probably was.

 

They were finally together, everything felt warm and happy and right. Connor would have cried it he weren’t focused on bringing his lover the best orgasm he’d ever had. He pushed his hips forward and let Evan sink down until his balls were resting against his ass. Evan moaned and clenched deliciously on Connor’s erection. With barely any time to spare, Connor pulled back and snapped his hips forward. Evan yelped and threw his head back.

 

“Ah! C-Con! Oh, God…” He yelled, legs tightening their grip on Connor’s hips. The brunet felt something snap inside of him. It was like all the pent up frustration and sadness of the past days were leaving his body and replacing itself with the happiness of knowing he’d never lose his Evan, again. _His Evan._ God, why did that sound so right? 

 

He canted his hips forward as Evan ground down on his cock, shoving the blond harder against the tree. 

 

“Ev-Evan, you feel so good. You’re so perfect for me. l-love you, I love you so much…” Connor breathed and grabbed Evan’s hips tight enough to bruise. He positioned his thrusts just so he could hit Evan’s prostate with deadly accuracy. 

 

“Oh, God! I’m your’s, Connor, all your’s! Don’t stop, don’t stop!” He yelled, face heating up with his need to please. Connor growled and scratched a trail of red down the blond’s back. 

 

“You’re mine. All mine. I’m never letting you go.” He growled, teeth bared. Evan sobbed as his muscles clenched around Connor’s thick member, legs starting to go numb with how hard he had them wrapped around his lover. 

 

“You and I, for forever…” Evan mumbled, tears leaving wet paths down his chin. Connor’s heart beat painfully as he hugged the best thing in his life. A ball of pleasure was starting to form in his stomach, and the blond didn’t sound far behind. 

 

“Ah! Connor!” Evan screamed as he splashed warm cum against his stomach. The clenching of Evan’s passage was enough to have Connor spilling his load as well, biting hard into Evan’s neck as he came. Evan whimpered but accepted it none the less. The brunet licked carefully at the wound before pulling back to stare at the perfect row of indents. He hadn’t broken the skin, but Evan would be living with that mark for the next couple of weeks. Connor was fine with that. Every time Evan would look at the love bite, he’d know exactly who would be waiting at home to give him more pleasure. Or he’d know he had someone at home to cuddle with and make him dinner. Connor was fine with either option. 

 

Noticing that Evan’s legs were shaking precariously against his hips, the brunet gently set him down and cleaned him up as efficiently as he could. Evan looked dazed, the sweat drying on his skin making it difficult to slide his jeans back on. Connor didn’t mind, though. He trailed lazy kisses up his lover’s thigh and stomach before sliding his shirt back over his head. Evan smiled like a besotted fool and Connor leaned in to steal a kiss before taking his hand and leading him out of the orchard. 

 

The walk back to Evan’s house was quiet but peaceful. Connor rubbed circles into Evan’s hand and didn’t even chuckle when the blond winced as he walked. That didn’t stop him from wearing a smug smile for two blocks until Evan noticed and nudged him in the shoulder. The brunet simply smiled and kissed his forehead. 

 

They entered the dimly lit entryway and Evan made quick work of turning on the lights. The designer followed the blond and took a seat at the kitchen island as Evan looked through the fridge for something halfway edible. Finding only a handful of unremarkable jars and Tupperware containers, the blond suggested takeout. With nothing better to offer, Connor agreed and watched as Evan placed the order online. 

 

The two watched the new season of _Stranger Things_ as they waited, Evan tucked into the crook of Connor’s shoulder. When the doorbell rang, Connor handed Evan a twenty. His boyfriend soon returned with a steaming box of pizza and breadsticks. Connor felt his heart soar as he watched the man lay out some plates and glasses. He was really digging the domestically of the situation when Evan dropped what felt like the equivalent of a bucket of cold water on his head. 

 

“We should talk about where we go from here.” Evan stated before casually biting off a piece of his breadstick. Connor sighed and placed his slice of pizza back on his plate. His appetite deserted him at the thought of more emotionally draining conversation. Evan seemed genuinely calm and level-headed, so he tried to squish the worry growing in his stomach. 

 

“Alright?” Connor answered, not really sure where Evan would want to take the conversation. Evan stared into his eyes briefly before looking back down at his forgotten slice of pizza.

 

“I don’t like it when you say you’re s-shit at relationships. It makes me feel like you aren’t invested, even though I know you are because you came all the way here to apologize to me and you love me which is really nice to hear but-” Evan snapped his jaw shut and shook head. “I know you’re invested, but my anxiety makes me think you’ll go back to how things were before we met.” Evan ended as he looked at Connor with sad eyes. The brunet looked down in shame, but couldn’t help but think that Evan was justified in thinking that way. He nodded before meeting his lover’s baby blues.

 

“I understand where you’re coming from, and I’m sorry that I made you feel like I’d just wake up one day and leave.” Connor said sincerely. “If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t sleep with anyone after that first night with you. It was Kleinman’s release party for that stupidly complicated laptop, remember?” Connor chuckled and took Evan’s hand. “You fascinated me from Day 1, Evan. I couldn’t figure out why I didn’t want to fuck you and kick you out of my bed the next day.”

 

“…thanks.” Evan mumbled. Connor couldn’t help but chuckle. 

 

“Okay, that sounded fucking stupid when I said it like that, but it’s true. Like, don’t get me wrong, I like you for body, but I’m also super attracted to what’s underneath, too, so… I just realized how douche-y that sounded, I think I’m going to go jump off the bridge I saw a few miles back-” Evan stopped him with a genuine laugh. 

 

“I think I get what you’re trying to say.” He said, grabbing ahold of Connor’s hand. He gave it a squeeze. 

 

“Good, because I don’t think I know what I’m trying to say.” Evan chuckled again. “I guess what I was trying to get at was, I’m not going to leave you for the guys I used to hang around with. They all seem pretty vapid now that I think about it. I guess I didn’t realize how much I’d like being in a relationship because I never had the right guy… but I found you. And I’m happy with you.” Connor concluded. It wasn’t the prettiest sentence he’d ever strong together, but Evan seemed to appreciate it even so. They sat in silence, simply holding hands and staring at their interlocked fingers. Evan coughed slightly and looked at Connor expectantly. The brunet cocked on eyebrow. 

 

“Okay, so this is kind of the part where you tell me what I did wrong…” Evan goaded, a small smile turning the edges of his lips upward. Connor chuckled and shook his head. 

 

“I guess I didn’t appreciate being left in the dark all the time, especially considering the whole financial crisis that went down. I don’t think I should have been hearing about it the day I got fired.” Connor said, but there wasn’t an ounce of accusation in his voice. He heard Evan’s breath hitch.

 

“I’m sorry, it’s just I know I can be kind of a handful with my anxiety and I didn’t want to push you further away with more of my problems and-” Connor cut him off.

 

“Evan, you don’t have to worry about scaring me off. If you haven’t noticed, I’m also kind of a basket case, myself. I get where you’re coming from, more or less. Please trust me to not run off at the first sign of crazy. I thrive on crazy.” Connor said, squeezing Evan’s hand. Evan looked at the hand as if he’d float away if he let go.

 

“I know, and I’m trying, it’s just hard…” Evan mumbled. Connor’s heart broke for him. 

 

“Ev, thank you for telling me. It’s something we can work on together, okay? I mean, we knew these problems wouldn’t magically disappear now that we’re talking about them, right?” Connor explained, releasing the blond’s hand to join him on the other side of the island. Evan nodded.

 

“I guess that’s true…” Evan mumbled, turning to wrap his arms around the brunet. Connor placed delicate hands on his waist. 

 

“We’re in this together, and goddamn it we both love each other! So, we’ll work through all our shit and be the happy little couple with the white picket fence and mini-van.” Connor said before wincing at the awful analogy. Evan gave him an odd look.

 

“What?” 

 

“I don’t know where I was going with that…” Connor mumbled. Evan giggled and pulled the brunet closer. 

 

“I get what you’re trying to say.” He answered. Connor’s heart melted. 

 

“I know.” He pulled _his Evan_ to his chest and placed a loving kiss on his lips. He felt Evan sigh against him and return the kiss just as tenderly. They were so caught up in their own world that they neglected to hear the door unlatch. 

 

“I’m so glad you two were able to work it out!” Heidi said in delight as she placed her suitcase on the kitchen table. Evan tried to pull away in embarrassment, but Connor wouldn’t let him. The brunet chuckled and shrugged, instead.

 

“Yep.” Heidi nodded in approval. 

 

“And you’re going to communicate from now on?” Heidi goaded with a twinkle in her eye. 

 

 _“Yes.”_ Evan said with far too much sass. The other two occupants in the room gave him a surprised look before laughing quietly. 

 

“There’s still some pizza left. We just started the new season of _Stranger Things_ , if you want to join us?” Connor offered as he took Heidi’s coat and hung it on the hook in the hallway next to the kitchen. He heard the older woman gasp in delight.  

 

“Oh, is that that one with the little girl with the short haircut? They call her Twelve?” She said excitedly. Connor could practically see Evan’s look of bemusement.  

 

“N-Not quite.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> has anyone else seen the 35 minute Be More Chill bootleg, because it gave me actual life and will most likely get me through the next week. i'm hoping that maybe there's a chance a full boot will be released soon, so fingers crossed. also, i have a conspiracy theory about it, so hit me up if you wanna hear it :P
> 
> just a heads up, school is getting pretty busy for me. i want to try and update every week, but i also want the last few chapters to be good content and quality. if i don't hit the mark, know i haven't abandoned the fic, i'm just busy. I'm thinking of maybe cutting the chapters up into smaller parts so i don't have to spend as much time writing the long chapters. 
> 
> anyways, have a great week and i appreciate all your kind comments and kudos! :) <3


	21. Theater Tickets Aren't Expensive When Someone Else Pays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The future looks pretty good.

_1 Year Later_

 

“Two encores, Evan. Two!” Zoe huffed into the receiver, causing Evan to pull back slightly to save his ears from ringing the rest of the day. He giggled at his best friend’s enthusiasm, ‘ooh-ing’ and ‘aw-ing’ in all the right places. 

 

Zoe’s band had just reached Billboard stardom with ‘ _Only Us’_ plowing through the competition to take the coveted #1 spot. They had been on the road for the past couple of months on tour, and Evan was still adjusting to having to talk to Zoe on the phone instead of heading down a couple of doors to her office. 

 

He missed her dearly, but he couldn’t tamp down on the overflowing pride he felt whenever he heard the opening measures of any of her songs that played over the taxi driver’s radio. 

 

“Sounds like quite the night.” Evan said as he filled in a few lines of a document he was absentmindedly working on. He could hear rustling in the background and someone yelling at the blonde before a male voice spoke into Zoe’s phone. 

 

“If you think two encores seems excessive, just wait until tonight. I’m sure we’ll do like five, considering Alana will be there.” Michael said with a chuckle before having the phone wrestled out of is grip. 

 

“I’ve had to live with that for the past three months.” Zoe said fondly. A smile formed on Evan’s lips. 

 

“You love it.” Evan replied as he pushed back from his desk. “How are you and Alana, by the way?” He heard Zoe sigh sadly.

 

“I mean, it sucks not seeing her everyday, but we Skype every night and Jared lets her borrow the company jet on weekends, so it’s not too bad.” Zoe said optimistically. Evan’s brows furrowed. He knew how hard it was for the girls to go from attached at the hip to thousands of miles apart, and his heart ached for them both. They seemed to be making it work, though. It probably helped knowing that Zoe’s tour was almost over, and she’d be able hug Alana as much as she wanted while she was in town. 

 

“That’s good. I know Alana’s been missing you like crazy, here. I haven’t seen her this wound up since the time Connor and Jared played _‘The Final Countdown’_ over the intercom. I told you they got through eleven renditions of it before Alana pulled the plug, right?” Evan said with a small laugh. He could hear the pop star grown into the receiver. 

 

“You aren’t the ones who had to hear about that little incident for twenty minutes. I almost missed my cue because of you assholes.” Zoe’s annoyance was pointed, but Evan brushed it off. He knew his friend missed their office shenanigans more than she let on. He was about to say as much when Connor opened his office door and walked in, a huge smile plastered on his face. 

 

“I’ll make them apologize to you later tonight, but I’ve just been reminded that I have an important call to take care of.” Evan said quickly, his thumb already on the end call button. He heard Zoe groan into his ear.

 

“This has something to do with Connor, doesn’t it?” 

 

“I gotta go, bye!” He quickly ended the call and looked up at his boyfriend with a mischievous smile. Connor rolled his eyes good-naturedly and leaned over Evan’s desk.

 

“She’s on to us now, huh?” He asked, the fluorescent lights shining in his azure eyes. He pecked Evan’s lips and pulled out two concert tickets. If Evan squinted, he could make out the band’s logo and their seating arrangements. Connor held them out like they were the key to all life’s problems. 

 

“VIP seating, complements of Jared Kleinman. I didn’t even have to blackmail him.” Connor said with a smirk as he handed them over for Evan to inspect. 

 

“That was nice of you.” Evan said absentmindedly. Connor chuckled and moved behind Evan’s desk to wrap his arms around the blond’s lithe waist. He gave Evan a kiss on the cheek before turning his gaze to the tickets in the accountant’s hand. 

 

Contrast to the regular stadium venues the band was used to performing at, a small theater would be hosting the event that night. After an extensive talk with Alana, the girlfriends had decided that _Kleinman Corps._ would be funding the last show, and that it only made sense to wrap up the tour in a meaningful place. 

 

The Music Box Theater was small but cozy, giving every audience member in attendance a good view of the stage without having to strain their eyes. Zoe had picked out a setlist of acoustic and stand alone pieces that hadn’t made it onto their debut album, as she wanted to stray away from the radio hits that they had been performing day in and day out. Evan recalled she said she was going for a more personal performance, a reflection of where’d they had started from.

 

Even with tickets being ridiculously expensive, Jared had made quite a few exceptions. Most of their friends and family would be flying in to see the show, and Jared even footed the bill for the after party. As much as he liked to complain about how much Zoe’s departure from the company screwed up their office dynamic, Evan knew he was immensely proud of her. They all were, for Christ’s sake. 

 

“Front row seats.” Evan stated with a cocked brow. Connor gave him a gentle squeeze. 

 

“Maybe if we’re lucky, we’ll even get to meet the band, after.” He deadpanned. Evan turned his head to the side so he could meet the brunet’s eyes. 

 

“Ha, ha.” Evan mocked as he wrapped his hands around Connor’s. They stayed there like that a moment before Evan sighed sadly and unwrapped himself from his lover’s hold. 

 

“You know I love that Jared rehired you, but I really need to finish up this report before five and having you here is, well… distracting?” Evan said shyly as he reseated himself. Connor rolled his eyes and walked around to the other side of the desk. Evan was steadfast to ignore him, but Connor wasn’t going to let his lover get off so easy. A devious smirk overtook his lips. 

 

“Hey, I remember how this got here.” He said, pointing to a chunk of wood that was missing from the accountant’s desk. Evan felt dizzy from how quickly his blood rushed to his cheeks. 

 

“Connor! T-This is what I meant by distraction!” He yelled, trying to focus on his computer screen instead of the grinning brunet. That was much harder said than done, as the numbers onscreen held no appeal to the handsome being standing in front of Evan. The designer ignored Evan’s embarrassment. If anything, he wanted to see how flustered he could make his boyfriend. Call it a hobby, but Connor had never been one to let a passionate moment sneak by the two if he could help it. In his defense, there had been that handful of chaste weeks when they had broken up, and Connor was trying to make up for lost time. If anything, Evan should be grateful Connor was being so conscious of his sexual needs. 

 

“Was that the day you figured out how to keep a good chunk of the entry-level programmers from losing their jobs, or the day you released the new budget plan that saved the California branch from bankruptcy? I know it couldn’t have been the day when Jared announced the reproduction of his laptops, because I remember having you tied to my bed that night.” Connor stated casually as he picked at his nails, calm as all get out. Evan had his lip between his teeth and his eyes firmly glued to his notes. He took a deep breath before stealing his gaze to Connor’s.

 

“I-It was the day Zoe’s album went platinum, so if you could please?…” Evan tried to shove Connor out of his office door, as much as it pained him to do so. “I love you and you know I love you, but I really need to work-” Evan said so quickly that Connor almost kissed him to get him to take a breath.

 

“I understand, Ev. We’re still on for dinner before the concert, ya?” He asked as he walked into the hallway. 

 

“Yeah! I mean, yes. You can pick the restaurant. I think it’s your turn, anyways.” Evan blushed at his excitement. Connor grinned softly and kissed him. His lips were soft and forgiving against the blond’s. Evan hummed, his face no longer feeling like it was burning as the sweet scent of cinnamon and smoke filled his senses. Connor placed his hand under Evan’s jaw and rubbed at the tender skin gently. 

 

“I love you. Don’t work too hard.” He said softly, bumping their foreheads together. Evan grinned and kissed the seam of Connor’s mouth. 

 

“I love you, too.” He whispered against Connor’s lips. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, everyone! sorry for the late update, life kind of exploded and i didn't have a lot of time to write. my next couple of weeks are pretty hectic, but there aren't that many chapters left, tbh. depending on how busy i am, i'll either write short chapters that will be posted on time, or long chapters that will probably be late. we'll see. :P 
> 
> anyways, i apologize for the short filler chapter, but i hope you enjoyed it. the next one will be much more interesting. 
> 
> Have a great rest of your week, i love you and all your support! <3


	22. The One Where Everyone Cries Happy Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoe has her concert and Connor does something good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS, WE HAVE MORE FANART AND IT'S FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC!! BOOM!  
> https://fluffy-bunbunny.tumblr.com/image/167436980100  
> Go check out the art and share the love!!

The lobby was already abuzz with activity as Connor directed Evan toward a narrow hallway.   Even showing up early, the theater was already filled to the brim with fans eagerly awaiting to see the band. The blond stood on his tiptoes to try and make out Jared and Alana, but the swarm of people made it difficult to spot his friends. Sighing, he turned toward his lover with nervous eyes. Connor’s usually confident stance looked forced. Noticing the curious glance Evan was giving him, the brunet shot him a bashful smirk.

 

“Why are you nervous?” Evan asked as he brought a hand up to cradle the contour of Connor’s cheek. The man leaned into a warmth gratefully.

 

“I’m not. I’m fine. Why? Do I look nervous?” He joked, a teasing smirk tugging at the sides of his soft lips. 

 

“Kind of.” Evan admitted. Connor rolled his eyes as he reluctantly pulled away from the accountant’s grasp. The couple handed their tickets over and were quickly escorted to the front row. Jared and Alana looked up from their conversation to greet the pair. Alana smiled at them with such excitement that Evan feared she might pull a facial muscle. He chalked up her elation to getting to reunite with Zoe, and tried to match her enthusiasm. Connor placed a hand on the small of Evan’s back and guided him to the seat next to the V.P. before sitting at Evan’s other side.

 

Connor rubbed anxious circles into Evan’s knee while Alana and Jared did their best to chat the blond’s ear off. In a brief moment of reprieve, he turned toward the brunet with a flustered smile. The designer tried to match it, but his smile looked forced. 

 

“They’re…they’re really excited.” Evan tried to initiate, but Connor’s mind seemed to be somewhere other than the theater. He reached into his coat pocket in search of something before pulling his hand out and clenching it. The blond furrowed his eyebrows and tried to get his lover to meet his eyes. 

 

“Usually, I’m the one who’s squirming around in the seats. Are you okay?” Evan asked in a hushed tone to avoid alerting his friends to Connor’s turmoil. The brunet turned to him with a pinched expression.

 

“Like I said before, I’m fine.” Evan knew Connor didn’t mean for the words to be as cutting as they were, and the brunet realized it a moment later. “Sorry. That was shitty of me.” He said as he rubbed his pounding eyes with his hand. Evan nodded and placed a hand on top of Connor’s. 

 

“It’s okay. Is it because it’s Zoe’s last concert?” Evan asked, trying to find the answer that Connor kept skirting around. 

 

“Ya, something like that.” The brunet said with a weak laugh. Evan felt as his stomach coiled tightly. His hand tightened it’s hold around his lover’s. 

 

“What aren’t you telling me?” Evan tried to hide the accusation in his voice, and was proud of how confident and level it came out. Small mercies. Turning panicked eyes on the blond, Connor sat up with a purpose that Evan hadn’t seen all night. The blond leaned back at the sudden movement. Connor brushed the stray hair from his eyes as he searched for the right words to appease his lover. 

 

“You love me, right?” He asked earnestly. 

 

“Yes, of course. You know I do.” Evan said easily. He let himself indulge the urge to smile fondly. Even with Connor’s strange attitude, it was still so easy to admit his feelings for him. Over a year ago, he would have stuttered the words out and blushed to the point of being embarrassed, but now the declaration flowed out of him as easily as if he were commenting on the weather. Connor seemed to pick up on his train of thought, because the tension in his shoulders loosened. 

 

“Then trust me when I say that I can’t tell you, yet. It’s a surprise.” He murmured, his mischievous smirk finding it’s way back to his mouth. Evan cocked his head as he tried to think through Connor’s logic. 

 

“You know I don’t like surprises.” He deadpanned, making Connor chuckle quietly. The brunet flicked his fridge from his eyes and gave Evan a peck on the lips. 

 

“Believe me, I’m well aware.” He replied, leaning in to give Evan a more passionate kiss. He had almost successfully gotten his tongue into Evan’s mouth when a groan had the lovers pulling apart. 

 

“We’re in the front row, you know everyone in the theater can see your disgustingly sweet displays of affection, right? ‘Lana, do something about that, will you?” Jared mocked as he took a large handful of popcorn and shoved it into his mouth. Alana rolled her eyes and grabbed the bag as quickly as a striking snake. The CEO whined and tried to reclaim his snack. She kept it carefully out of her boss’s reach.

 

“I’m not sure where you got this, considering there’s a strict rule against consumables in the theatre. I’ll be taking this and disposing of it properly.” She tutted, her long braids flicking behind her as she walked up the aisle. Evan turned back to his friend as he groaned and flopped into his seat miserably. 

 

“I’m paying thousands of dollars to host this stupid thing, you’d think I’d be aloud to bring in bag of popcorn.” He huffed angrily, looking more like a pouting toddler than a business owner. Evan rolled his eyes.

 

“You mean _snuck in_?” Connor said, gesturing to the bag Alana had walked off with. He watched as Jared’s expression morphed from sullen to offended in seconds. 

 

“Snuck in? It was very clearly hidden inside my coat pocket! _Snuck in_ , what a dirty word.” Jared spat, crossing his arms indigently. Evan shot Connor a look before the brunet could release a truly scathing remark. Connor shrugged, knowing better than to fight Jared in front of Evan. He’d save it for later, when his boyfriend eventually left to use the bathroom. Before the men could bicker further, Alana returned in a twirl black fabric. Evan took a moment to gaze at the skintight black dress, the sparkly material accentuating the V.P.’s curves. Connor’s lips settled on the blond’s ear. 

 

“Zoe’s gonna lose it when she sees her.” Connor said, the laughter apparent in his voice. He, too, had noticed Alana’s wardrobe choice. Her smartly tailored suits had taken a backseat to the formal evening gown. “I know it was a free ticket, but I’d rather not sit through two hours of my sister drooling over her girlfriend.” He murmured. Evan felt the tips of his ears go red. The blond turned so that his forehead was almost bumping in his lover’s. 

 

“Zoe’s p-professional, she wouldn’t spend the _entire_ concert looking at Alana, even through she does look great, tonight-not that she doesn’t always look great-” Connor noticed the rambling and interrupted.

 

“Professional? Am I the only one who remembers the time she hosted rolling chair races, just ‘cuz?” Connor stated, tilting his head up defiantly. Evan rolled his eyes and pushed his boyfriend playfully.

 

“That’s what people who come in second place say.” Evan responded, biting his lip in an attempt to keep a straight face. Connor made a shocked noise and grabbed the accountant by the shoulders.

 

“Who are you and where the fuck’s my boyfriend? My Evan would never outright insult my pride to my face.” He said seriously, azure eyes sparkling with mirth. Alana and Jared turned toward the couple, as well. 

 

“Language.” They said in unison. Connor pulled back as if he’d been burned. 

 

“Okay, that’s creepy as fuck.” He said, doing nothing to censor himself. 

 

“Connor, such language, and in a theatre no less. That’s practically on the same level as cursing in a church.” Jared antagonized. Connor groaned. 

 

“Kleinman, I’m not above walking over there and kicking your ass.” The designer threatened, but it lacked any real heat. Before Jared could come back with something even more insulting, the lights began to dim.

 

“Behave, all of you! Zoe’s coming on!” Alana commanded. 

 

“I’m not five, mom.”

 

“I’m kicking your ass at intermission, _Jared_.” 

 

“I-I didn’t even say anything…”

 

The group ignored Alana’s barely contained excitement as she vibrated with nervous energy. Jared scoffed again and leaned back in his seat while Connor and Evan shared knowing looks. The lights went out completely, leaving the theater in total darkness. For a sold-out performance, Evan was certain the building had never been more quiet. Everyone seemed to be holding their breath, the creak of seats the only sound as the crowd leaned forward in their seats. 

 

A soft, angelic voice filled the auditorium. Zoe didn’t have to be seen to have the crowd wrapped around her little finger in an instant. Evan felt a warmth fill his chest and work it’s way through his veins. It had been ages since he had heard her sing live, and he had forgotten how captivating an experience it was. Connor gasped quietly next to him, and Evan was quick to wrap a hand around Connor’s. The lights slowly illuminated the stage, bathing Zoe in soft golden hues. 

 

She stood out starkly against the black backdrop, her white dress flowing carelessly around her lithe frame. Her only accompiament was a lone cello off to her left, the musician’s head bent in concentration. 

 

“Wow…” Alana breathed, biting at her lip. Evan nodded in agreement, even though he knew Alana wouldn’t see it. Not that he wanted her to, as Zoe deserved all eyes on her as she floated around the stage. The cello’s notes began to build, filling the space with rich, haunting notes. Suddenly, the stage was alight with color, causing Evan to blink. The band played fiercely behind Zoe, looking etherial in their own spotlights. Their voices came together to form a harmony that brought tears to Evan’s eyes. He tried to discreetly wipe at them as the song began to come to a close.

 

 _“You will be found.”_ Zoe breathed, eyes shut as the emotions of the songs flowed through her body like a vessel. The crowd erupted into ear splitting cheers, causing Zoe to smile and open her eyes. She walked up to the lip of the stage and placed her microphone into the stand that the stagehand brought out. 

 

“How’s everybody doing tonight?” She asked as the crowd whooped and cheered. She nodded and waved as she surveyed the room. 

 

“I love you!” A man yelled, pulling several cheers of agreement. Zoe smirked and looked in the general direction of the fan.

 

“I love you, too, but don’t let my girlfriend hear that.” She looked down at Alana and winked. “Hi, babe.” She deadpanned. The crowd chuckled at her joke and Zoe turned to nod at Michael to begin setting up for the next song. 

 

“As you probably know, this is _Burnt Out’s_ last performance of the _Stars In Our Eyes_ tour.” The crowd ‘aww’ed’ and Zoe quickly cut them off. “Don’t sound so sad, this is a good thing!” She said enthusiastically. “The band’s been waiting for this night. We don’t often get to perform some of our more personal songs, but thanks to _Kleinman Corporations_ and my super hot, super amazing girlfriend, we have the opportunity to share them with you, tonight.” Another fan whistled, and Zoe pointed excitedly.

 

“He gets it!” The crowd chuckled again, and Zoe smiled softly. “We’re thankful for everyone who has supported us, and we want to have the chance to show you something you haven’t seen from us, before…” She murmured. The low roar from the crowd slowly died as the opening notes of the piano played, and Zoe breathed out through her nose before beginning. 

 

The concert was mostly a blur for Evan after that. The band played song after song, each more touching than the last. Evan couldn’t pull his eyes away from the stage, as he feared he would miss something monumental if he did. 

 

The songs they sang were sad and real and hopeful. Evan could see Zoe’s story as if he had lived it himself. He knew she was a gifted songwriter, but this was beyond the realm of catchy radio hits. These were the songs you listened to when you locked your door and curled up in bed. The voice you connected with when the world felt like it was trying to suffocate you. It was life and death and a way out. Evan envied everyone not lucky enough to hear the songs that would most likely never make it unto a record. He cheered loudly after every song, his voice drowned out by the thousands of others who shared his sentiments. 

 

He barely noticed when Connor slipped away, tears in his eyes. He looked at his lover’s retreating back, his head swimming as he came back to his body. Evan went to follow, but Alana placed a gentle hand on his arm and shook her head. Something in her eyes kept him rooted to the spot, and he nodded before turning back to Zoe. She had just finished a rather rigorous song, and she was panting lightly. Sweat had strands of hair sticking to her forehead, but she gently wiped them away. Despite the melancholy song, she had the largest smile on her face. 

 

“I want to thank you again for coming out and supporting what where doing here, tonight.” She spoke, bouncing on the balls of her feet. The crowd roared and she quieted them with a nod of her head. “But we need to acknowledge what got us here in the first place.” The opening notes to _‘Only Us’_ echoed throughout the space, and a excited buzzing filled the air. The lights dimmed until only Zoe was spotlighted. She looked as close to an angel as one could get, her white dress shining brightly. 

 

“People always ask me what my inspiration was for this song, and I’ve always given a vague answer…until now.” More cheering and whistling. “My brother came to me one night with a question he wasn’t sure he was ready to ask, but now he is…but this is his story. Connor?” 

 

Evan knew he would have fallen out of his seat if his body were responding to his command. At the moment, the connection between his brain and the rest of his limbs was cut off. 

 

There, center stage and looking for all the world like he owned it, was Connor. Evan felt like he couldn’t breath, his chest tightening to an almost painful extent. The brunet took a breath and began to sing. 

 

 _“I don’t need more reminders of all that’s been broken. I don’t need you to fix what I’d rather forget. Clear the slate and start over. Try to quiet the noises in your head. We can’t compete with all that.”_ Connor didn’t break his eye contact with Evan.

 

Thought not as technically-trained as Zoe, Connor’s voice was enchanting none the less. Evan leaned forward in his seat as tears streamed down his face. If he hadn’t been crying before, he certainly was now. Connor walked to the lip of the stage and stared intensely into Evan’s eyes. The blond tried to wipe at his eyes, but Connor shook his head and gave him a watery smile. As if in a trance, the accountant dropped his arms and simply watched. 

 

Even with Evan’s tendency to not want to look people in the eyes, he didn’t think his could break the staring contest if he tried. It was like he was connected to the brunet, and if he looked away the world would shatter into pieces around them. 

 

He jumped when Zoe placed a delicate hand on his bicep and beckoned him to stand. Following mutely, he couldn’t even bring himself to fret over the fact that she was leading him on stage in front of thousands of people. As of that moment, it was only him and Connor. Those strikingly blue eyes against his and the soft turn of his mouth. 

 

 _“So it can be us, it can be us, and only us. And what came before, won’t count anymore, or matter. Can we try that?”_ Connor took his hand and squeezed. Evan felt his heart constrict. " _What if it's you_ _, a_ _nd what if it's me_ _, a_ _nd what if that's all that we need it to be_ _, a_ _nd the rest of the world falls away?_ _What do you say?”_ Evan felt himself nodding before he could control it. He was sure he was smiling like an idiot, but Connor was doing the same so he couldn’t bring himself to give a damn. Connor was singing and looking at him like he was the best thing in the universe, and Evan had never felt he had known a love so intense until this moment. God, how had he gotten so lucky with this man? He would laugh if he felt like it wouldn’t cause more tears to flow from his already leaking eyes.

 

 _“And it’s only us…”_ Connor whispered as he dropped the mic. It made an echoing thud as it hit the ground, but he didn’t break his eye contact with the blond. Evan felt his heart leap into his throat as Connor lowered himself onto one knee. 

 

 _‘This isn’t happening. He’s not proposing. He did not sing a sappy love song to you at a concert in order to win your hand-’_ Evan’s anxiety yelled in his head. He couldn’t help but smile.

 

_‘Shut the fuck up.’_

 

Connor pulled out a simple black box and opened it tentatively. The light caught the silver band and reflected Evan’s smile back at him. 

 

“Evan Hansen, will you marry me?” Connor asked, voice soft and vulnerable and hopeful.

 

Before he could even recognized what his body was doing, Evan had thrown himself into Connor’s arms and was kissing everywhere he could reach. He heard Connor chuckle deep in his throat and return the kisses. 

 

Pulling back, Evan met Connor’s slightly teary eyed expression. The blond had never seen a more dazzling smile on his face.

 

“Yes?” Connor questioned.

 

“Yes!” Evan yelled, kissing the brunet squarely on the mouth. They pulled back as the screaming of the crowd registered. Evan turned to look at the front row. Jared was winking and giving him a thumbs up, while Zoe and Alana were screaming and hugging each other. Evan blushed and ducked his head as he wrapped himself into Connor’s side. The designer kissed the crown of his head and led him backstage to sit on a vacated couch. He could hear Zoe queue the band for another song, but the words felt muffled to his ears.

 

Evan’s head was swimming and he couldn’t tell if he was floating or if Connor had picked him up without his knowledge. At this point, he could have been skiing and not have been able to tell the difference. 

 

“How did- and you- you sang! Connor, you sang! And you asked- I-I have a fiancé, now, oh my God, we’re getting married!-” 

 

“Fiancé, I like the sound of that.” Connor said, reigning kisses on Evan’s cheeks. “Evan Murphy.” He murmured, chuckling quietly. The blond joined him.

 

“O-Or, Connor Hansen.” He joked. Connor rolled his eyes. 

 

“Don’t care. As long as I have you, you can call me Connor Kleinman for all I care.” Evan made a face, and Connor grimaced once he realized what he had said. 

 

“Well, you’re not marrying Jared, you’re marrying me, so…” Evan murmured and kissed Connor’s temple.

 

“Thank God.” Connor replied, holding Evan tighter to his frame.

 

“I love you, so much.” 

 

“I love you, too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I apologize for the late chapter! School has been super busy and I finally got around to finishing this chapter! Since this is posting a day after thanksgiving, i want you all to know that i'm super thankful for all the love and support you've given me and the story, it means a lot and i can't thank you enough :) 
> 
> I hope everyone had a great turkey day and found everything you were looking for this Black Friday.
> 
> I love you guys! <3


	23. Weddings Are The Best Wrap-ups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan and Connor tie the knot.

“Ow! Zoe, stop! There’s gonna be more blood on my suit than inside my actual body!” 

 

“Then stop moving and let me pin this stupid thing on! I swear to God, Connor, I’ll throw it down the toilet with no remorse.” Zoe spat, her tongue poking out from between her lips as she tried to secure the boutonnière to her brother’s lapel. He scowled but resisted the urge to move as Zoe took a step back to admire her handy work. Swinging her arms in victory, she pushed him toward the full length mirror. 

 

Shining eyes stared back at Connor. He couldn’t recall a time he had looked so content. His hair flowed in lose waves around his shoulders, curling lightly at the ends and accentuating his sharp features. The black suit clung to his lithe physique and highlighted his long legs and broad shoulders. Though the suit design was simple, the flower pinned to his chest brought the look together. The blue hydrangeas matched his eyes, not to mention they were Evan’s favorite flower. When his fiancé (his fiancé!) had mentioned he wouldn’t mind having hydrangeas as their wedding flower, Connor hadn’t argued. He simply nodded and gave his lover a soft smile. 

 

“We get it, you look good.” Jared appeared over his left shoulder with a bag of chips in tow. He was also dressed in a black suit with a light blue tie that matched Zoe and Alana’s dresses. The V.P. took note of the snack item and quickly snatched it from the CEO’s hands. Jared shrieked but made no attempt to try and grab the chips back. 

 

“My God, Jared. You need to look presentable for the wedding photos, and that does not include crumbs down the front of your suit.” She said as she took out a lint roller from God knows where and began the task of making the businessman look acceptable. Jared groaned but didn’t protest, as he was used to Alana’s fretting. 

 

“Ha.” Connor taunted as he looked over his shoulder at Jared’s torture. The man shot him a glare which Connor returned with a smirk. 

 

“Evan realizes he’s stuck with you, right?” Jared deadpanned. Alana hit him on the shoulder with a put upon frown. The man grumbled as he rubbed his abused shoulder. Connor rolled his eyes, Jared’s insults no longer holding the bite they used to. 

 

“I sure hope so, or else this marriage is going to be a fucking long one.” Connor replied as took a few steps toward his sister. She straightened out his suit with a twirl of her fingers. He grabbed her hands and held them close to his chest.

 

“Zoe, you’ve literally gotten every wrinkle out of my suit. Stop freaking out.” He stressed. Zoe squeezed his hands back as her eyes took on a watery glaze. Connor tried to contain the eye roll he knew was threatening to be released. Zoe had been adamantly planning the wedding with Alana, Heidi, and Cynthia for months, and he didn’t need to give her another reason to start gushing. 

 

“I can’t help it! My big brother’s getting married!” She said, going as far as to wipe a phantom tear from her eye. Connor didn’t contain the eye roll this time and pinched her lightly in the side. 

 

“Who would have thought you would have lived to see the day?” He pestered as he pinched her again. Zoe batted his hands away and straightened his suit one last time. 

 

“You look good. Evan’s going to have bigger hearts in his eyes than he usually does.” She said. Connor smiled softly at her words. 

 

“You’ve talked to him today… how is he?” He asked tentatively. Connor could feel the nervousness bubbling in the pit of stomach, he couldn’t image how Evan was feeling.

 

“He’s…good.” Zoe said, trying to muster as much confidence in the words as she could. Connor chuckled gingerly. 

 

“So he’s freaking out, is what you’re trying to say.” Connor stated. Zoe tried to hide her embarrassment but ended up looking more awkward than anything. 

 

“Ya…” Zoe said as she messed with the cloth of her dress. Alana appeared beside her and took her hand. She gave Zoe an encouraging smile.

 

“Don’t worry about Evan. Heidi is with him and keeping him calm-”  At Connor’s look, she changed tactics. “Alright, keeping him calm enough that he isn’t pacing.” Jared chose that moment to join the group, as well.

 

“False. I saw him pacing like, twenty minutes ago.” He stated easily. Connor groaned and ran a hand through his hair. Alana tsk-ed at him and touched up his hair. He broke out of her grasp and took a seat at the corner of the room. The brunet’s leg bounced intently against the floor as he steepled his fingers and tapped them against his mouth. Jared rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. He looked less than intimidating. 

 

“Dude, calm down. Evan is a nervous wreck, but when isn’t he? I’d be worried if he wasn’t. Seriously, one time he had to present at a conference because I was sick and Alana lost her voice, and I thought he was going to sweat through his suit, it was insane, I’ve never seen someone expel that much bodily fluid, except maybe that one time in Montreal-”

 

“Jared, the point!” 

 

“He’s not going to walk away just because he’s anxious. He’ll meet you at the end of the aisle. Hell, I’ll drag him down the aisle if he doesn’t.”

 

“Thanks, Jared…” Connor said flatly. His tightly coiled body unraveled slightly, and his leg finally stopped it’s incessant bouncing. Zoe sighed and kneeled at Connor’s feet. She placed a tentative hand on his knee. He looked up and into the eyes that were so similar to his.

 

“Evan will be even more anxious if he begins his walk down the aisle and you’re not there.” She joked, rubbing a gentle thumb against his knee. Connor laughed and ran another hand through his hair. 

 

“You’re probably right.” He said as he stood and adjusted his suit. He looked over at Alana who was discreetly checking her phone. 

 

“You’ve got ten minutes. It’d probably be productive to start getting into place.” The V.P. stated, dragging Jared out with her to give the siblings a moment. Zoe silently thanked her girlfriend for it. 

 

“Think you’ll propose to her?” Connor asked once he was sure the woman was out of earshot. Zoe blushed and ducked her head.

 

“That’s not what we’re talking about, right now.” She said meekly. Connor rolled his eyes.

 

“Zoe.” 

 

“Probably. Yeah. I’d love to marry her. But seriously, focus on your own impending nuptials.” She gave him a gentle punch to the shoulder, which he returned. “How do you feel, really?”

 

“Nervous as hell. Jumpy. I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin…” He said as he bounced on the balls of his feet and rubbed his hands together. Zoe raised on eyebrow. 

 

“But?” She pried. Connor finally stopped his anxious movement to look at his sister.

 

“I’m ready. I know I talked a lot of shit in the past about dying alone, but… I can’t imagine not being with him…not waking up next to him, and… shit, I sound like you.” He said, rubbing a hand down his face. Zoe punched him not too gently in the chest. Connor made a wounded noise but didn’t rise to her bait. 

 

“Good. I’d kill you if you walked out on him.” She said, her threat clear despite her joking words. Connor met her serious gaze. 

 

“I’d let you.” He stated. She nodding surely and ushered him to the door. When they reached the threshold, she turned to face Connor with a winning smile. 

 

“Ready?”

 

“Ready.”

 

* * *

 

Just like the flowers, Connor had also let Evan choose the venue. Well, he let Evan talk to Cynthia who conducted better research than an FBI agent and found the perfect venue. Beaulieu Garden in Rutherford, California was chosen as their place of marriage, and Connor couldn’t believe his eyes as he looked around. 

 

Rows of trees lined a simple road leading to a garden that was kept in pristine condition. Everywhere he looked was green and vibrant and alive, and Connor bit his lip to keep from smiling too widely. He and Evan would be saying their ‘I do’s,’ under a canopy of sycamore trees. 

 

Gentle music drifted through the garden as Alana and Jared walked down the aisle, followed by Zoe and Michael. Cynthia and Larry gave him proud looks as they escorted him to his place to the right of the makeshift alter, his father giving him a firm handshake and his mother hugging him tearily before taking her seat in the front row. Connor felt nervousness creep through his veins, but it came to a screeching halt when the music queued up and Evan appeared at the end of the aisle with Heidi at his side. 

 

He was sporting the same blue suit he had worn the day they had met, and Connor thought his knees might have given out if it weren’t for the nervous smile Evan shot him. The brunet’s cheeks took on a pink tint as he bit his lip lightly. He could see Evan breath in a laugh and begin walking, Heidi steadfastly by his side. 

 

Maybe there were bells ringing, or maybe they were just in Connor’s head and making his ears ring. He felt hot and cold, the back of his neck feeling like it was on fire while his hands felt cold as ice. This was happening. In under an hour, he and Evan would be bound together for better or for worse. 

 

_Bring it on._

 

When Evan reached the bottom of the alter, Heidi gave him a parting kiss and took her seat. Evan practically bounded up the stairs to meet Connor, and the couple laughed as they faced each other. The brunet reached out and grabbed his hands and squeezed. Evan squeezed back before releasing. Connor wasn’t sure how long he spent staring into Evan’s kind eyes, but the officiator was talking so he figured he might as well pay attention at his own wedding. 

 

Throughout the wedding, the couple kept shooting looks at each other. Well, Connor kept making faces at Evan that would make him chuckle and try to cover it with a cough, but that only made the two giggle harder. He caught his mother shooting him disapproving looks, but even she couldn’t keep the smile off her face at their antics. It felt all too soon that the officiator was looking to them for their vows. 

 

Evan stared at Connor, all anxiousness gone. It was only him and Connor. 

 

“Connor, you are my lover and my biggest supporter. You are my rock and my shoulder to cry on. You are my true counterpart. I promise to always be your best friend and hold your hand through your bad days, and cheer you on through your good days. I vow to give you every broken part of myself, and never hold anything back. I want to grow old with you, but also grow together. I will always be there to fill your house with laughter and understanding, and freely give my life to you. I will always be there. I will love you for forever.” 

 

Evan had tears streaming down his face after he finished his declaration, but it was okay because everyone else in attendance did to. Heidi gently dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief while Zoe and Alana clutched each other tightly. Jared was doing a poor job of trying to look unaffected by the touching words. 

 

Connor reached up and placed a tender hand on Evan’s cheek as he used his thumb to wipe at the watery paths. Evan smiled shyly and leaned into the touch. Connor felt like his heart was about to burst from the fierce love he felt for the blond standing before him. 

 

Now it was his turn. Connor took a deep breath and ran through his vows one more time in his head. When he looked up, he was nothing but certainty and confidence. 

 

“Evan, I take you for everything that you are, and everything that you can be. I promise to always listen and learn from you, and support you in whatever you choose to do. Whatever we do, we do together. You will never have to shoulder the burden alone. Love is give and take, so whatever love you choose to give me, I’ll return tenfold. You’re my lover and my best friend, and I can’t imagine my life without you. You’re stuck with me, now.” That earned a chuckle from the crowd as Evan shook his head fondly. He mimicked Connor’s action and placed a hand on his cheek, pulling him close enough that he could bump their foreheads together. 

 

All to soon, Evan was looking at him with tears in his eyes as he slid the ring onto Connor’s finger. Connor repeated the motion, and they smiled like lovestruck fools at each other. It was hard to focus after that, what with Evan’s wide blue eyes staring at him and his smile and his hair and _Evan Evan Evan._ The one thing he did pick up on was the officiator saying the one thing he had been wanting to do the entire ceremony. 

 

“By the powers vested in me by the State of California, I now pronounce you married. You may kiss your husband.”

 

Connor didn’t wait up. He grabbed Evan by the lapels and kissed him fiercely. Evan melted into the kiss and grabbed Connor’s biceps to keep himself steady. They pulled apart and Connor couldn’t help the smile that lit up his face. He was pretty sure this was the happiest moment of his life. Evan seemed to think the same, because he planted a passionate kiss on Connor’s lips before pulling back and smiling widely. The brunet took him by the hand and raced down the aisle, Evan right by his side. They raced out of the garden and into Connor’s 1970 Chevrolet Chevelle. The red car with black stripes reflected in the sunlight and Connor quickly opened Evan’s door before sliding across the hood and into the driver’s seat. Evan laughed at his husband’s (husband’s!!!) antics and leaned over to kiss him again. 

 

“I can’t believe I let you choose this as our wedding car.” The accountant said as he pulled back with a carefree laugh. Connor shrugged and shot his husband a mischievous smirk. 

 

“Is this going to be our first fight as a married couple?” He bantered as he did a rather impressive burn out. Evan giggled over the squeal of the tires.

 

“I can’t wait.” Evan said with a smile. Connor reached across the transmission to place his hand on Evan’s thigh. 

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you, too.”

 

* * *

 

The reception was fairly small but cozy, both grooms preferring a small group of their closest friends and family rather than an over-the-top spectacle with people they barely knew. 

 

The reception hall wasn’t a hall at all, but rather an intimate space enclosed by lush trees and flowers that was located further inside the garden. A makeshift dance floor and tables had been set up and decorated to the nines. Connor had his mother to thank for the beautiful space, as she worked tirelessly to bring the gathering to life. Soft white lights and blue accents decorated every surface, and Connor huffed a laugh as he and Evan entered the space to uproarious cheers. Evan squeezed his hand and they took their seats at the head of the table. Cynthia and Heidi cooed and coddled over them until they shook them off fondly. 

 

Connor doesn’t remember much, everything felt like a blur of happiness and love and Evan. He remembers pulling Evan close during their first dance as Zoe’s angelic voice sang “I Won’t Give Up,” and having a feeling on contentment he’d never felt before. 

 

He remembers Jared getting up on a table and stripping… He may also remember cheering him on and throwing some fives his way.

 

He remembers Cynthia and Larry dancing together, and Larry ending up with his tie around his head. Maybe an open bar wasn’t the best idea… 

 

He remembers Zoe pulling Alana close and the two sharing an intimate moment on the dance floor that was interrupted by Heidi snapping a picture and telling the girls how cute they looked. 

 

He remembers pulling Evan away from the heat of the celebration and over to the bar. His husband was giggling happily, his face red from exertion. It turns out that he really liked to dance when he was surrounded by his friends and family who were just as drunk on life as he was. The blond took a seat and leaned back against the bar gratefully. Connor kissed his neck and quickly ordered them some fruity drinks that he couldn’t be bothered to remember the names of. Evan raised a questioning eyebrow. 

 

“You wore that suit on purpose, didn’t you?” Connor asked, a knowing glint in his eye.

 

“W-Well, Zoe and Alana helped me picked it out, and my mom said it went really well with the wedding colors, and-” He stopped his fibbing at Connor’s knowing look. “Okay, yes. I wore it on purpose, okay?” 

 

Connor chuckled and kissed Evan’s cheek. 

 

“This is how we met, you know. Seems kind of ironic, if you ask me.” He stated as he handed the accountant his drink. Evan took it gratefully and took a sip. It went down easily, and Connor chuckled at Evan’s eagerness. He followed Evan’s lead and downed his drink, as well. The two giggled and leaned against each other, the effects of the alcohol they’d been drinking all night starting to take affect. 

 

“Hey, husband.” Connor said as he gently pulled Evan’s face toward him by his chin. Evan giggled, his azure eyes slightly dilated. 

 

“Yes, husband?” He giggled and ducked his head. “God, I’m still not used to that.” 

 

“Not to sound like a cheesy YA novel, but you’ve got our entire lives to get used to it. Hey, don’t think I haven’t seen those books in our nightstand.” Connor goaded. Evan groaned and rubbed his face. 

 

“You weren’t supposed to see those.” Connor giggled and kissed his neck again. 

 

“It’s fine, it’s endearing.” 

 

“Good.” Connor turned and pulled Evan close, whispering gently in his ear. 

 

“Wanna relive the first time we met?” The brunet said hotly, giving Evan’s thigh a squeeze. The blond giggled and pulled Connor in by the tie. 

 

“We’ve got our whole lives to relive that night.” Evan bantered, but he did nothing to stave off the advances. 

 

“I’m not hearing a ‘no.’” Connor breathed as he kissed the corner of Evan’s mouth. Evan ran a hand through his husband’s hair. 

 

“I think I could be convinced.” Evan replied hotly. 

 

“I’m a bad influence on you.” Connor giggled and pulled Evan closer by the waist. 

 

“You are.” Evan confirmed. Connor laughed again. 

 

“And you’re mine, forever.” He breathed. 

 

“I am.” Evan replied, taking Connor by the lapels and bringing their faces together. 

 

“My accountant in the blue suit.” The brunet whispered as he moved his hand to Evan’s neck. He felt as Evan’s Adam’s apple bobbed. 

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you, too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aannnddd we're at the end! i've had so much fun writing this story, and as sad as it makes me, all things must come to an end. 
> 
> from the bottom of my heart, thank you for all the kind comments and kudos you've left, they've meant the world to me. i love you all and again, thank you for reading this fic! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos/comments appreciated. I want to keep the kids true to character, but also keep it realistic in the way that they have grown and matured with age. Let me know if you have any suggestions. :)
> 
> My tumblr is redwhiteandtrue if you're feeling bored :P
> 
> Also, FANART!!
> 
> https://athanasai.deviantart.com/art/dear-evan-hansen-Fanfics-2-708025206
> 
> https://78.media.tumblr.com/fabf48b344d49400daebc94393faddb2/tumblr_messaging_oxwyi0sCyc1v60wqm_1280.jpg (reallifeninarosario on tumblr)
> 
> https://fluffy-bunbunny.tumblr.com/image/167436980100


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